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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of driving?

43 replies

ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 20:38

I realise I may be flamed with the "if your scared of driving you shouldn't be on the road" malarkey but regardless.

I recently passed my test (two months ago) first time and I absolutely love driving - I love my car and am a decent driver. However I sometimes get scared when driving, I think due to the lack of experience even though I have driven lots.

The first thing that makes me panic is hills. My car rolls back on even the slightest of hills so I end up having to put the hand brake on constantly which, of course, really is not necessary as most people just use the foot brake - especially when waiting in a queue of traffic on a slope.

The second thing is parking. Now don't get me wrong, I have so far parked fine but I always reverse in for I have the fear if I drove in I would get too close to another car - at least when reversing in you can drive forward and straighten up. I always have the niggling feeling I will touch another car and it terrifies me.

Basically all I am asking is, would you say this feeling is normal because I haven't passed for very long and with more experience of driving I should be fine? And does anyone else ever feel the same?

FWIW, before anyone asks on my hill starts, I am fine with them - as I say, I AM a decent driver and I know how to do everything, it's just the "skill" involved.

TIA.

OP posts:
Original poster
ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 21:00

cheekychubster I too use routes that avoid hills! I don't even visit this one car park for the fear of the hill I have to go up on the way!!

My car is only a 1L engine too!

Selks thank you! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 21:05

thank you shineypenny I really hope so! Your right about only holding people up for one second, I do get anxious about what people must think of me but I am not actually causing them as much of an annoyance as I think I do!

Thank you everyone!

OP posts:
cheekychubster · 29/12/2011 21:06

If it makes you feel any better, i had to drive all the way to Tescos with the back windscreen wiper screaming at me every 30 seconds because i couldnt work out how to turn it offGrin

It wasnt even bloody rainingBlush

DD aged 12 was huffing and puffing and rolling her eyes at me whilst i was sweating buckets with stress. It was only a 5 minute driveGrin

I havent made the same mistake again!!

5inthebed · 29/12/2011 21:06

Took me at least a year of driving for me to feel confident enough. I avoided huge roundabouts mostly as they terrified me. Now I just go for it.

Your confidence will come, try not to be hard on yourself.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/12/2011 21:10

Oh, don't worry - everyone stalls sometimes! In a few weeks or months I bet you will end up behind some poor learner or new driver - or just someone anxious - doing exactly that and you will be lovely and patient and will see how it's really not a big deal!

It's drivers like you who are considerate to other people, IMO.

Btw, when I'm parking I still sometimes get out and look to see how much room there is - there's no shame in it, much better than worrying about hitting someone!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/12/2011 21:26

YANBU but plan some really long trips for the New Year. Visit distant friends and rellies. See Cornwall and Inverness. Stick the radio on, wind the window down (metaphorically, not for real in January), rest your arm on the sill and forget all that 'ten to two' wheel-holding stuff they taught you in the lessons. Urban driving is fiddly and annoying with far too many hazards and obstacles to be enjoyable. You can't 'drive' when it's all stop start. Get on the motorway, put your foot down and have some quality Stig time.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 29/12/2011 21:26

In Northern Ireland we have an R plate, to be displayed on the car in place of the L plate for a year after passing the test. It lets other drivers know you aren't very practised yet, and they should get a bit more leeway from other road users on hill starts etc. There's other restrictions too, and on the whole I think it's a great system.

There are plans proposed to make young drivers subject to curfew too, to cut down on young deaths at night.

Sorry to kill the thread with depression, but what I meant to say was you just need practice OP!

EauDeLaPoisson · 29/12/2011 21:32

I dont even use the footbrake on a hill- just ride the clutch baby!

EmmaBemma · 29/12/2011 21:36

Very bad for your clutch, EauDeLaPoisson. You'll wear it out, and they cost a fortch to replace.

ExcitedElectrons (good name!) yes, what you describe sounds normal to me. It just takes repetition for things to become second nature. Also, I've been driving for 16 years and I still can't guarantee a good parallel park every time I try - and I'm not even sure what I do that makes the difference between a textbook park and having to drive off in ignominy after the tenth attempt to find somewhere else.

Original poster
ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 21:46

Squirtedperfume I do have a P plate Grin! It has been on ever since I passed!

EmmaBemma Thanks! And haha I'm glad I'm not alone!

Cogito I got my little car up to 80mph (don't worry I know I was speeding but it was an empty motorway and I think my car thanked me for it Grin! But I will!

cheekychubster That has made me feel a lot better, I hope figured it out in the end! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 21:47

hope you figured it out in the end Blush

OP posts:
amichrissima · 29/12/2011 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carabos · 29/12/2011 22:12

Anyone who drives and doesn't feel slightly anxious is, IMO, a danger to themselves and others and shouldn't be on the road. A degree of anxiety demonstrates that you are aware that there are dangers around you and that a car is a lethal weapon.
Driving is one of the most dangerous activities you can undertake. Thousands of people die on the roads every year.

kerstina · 29/12/2011 22:48

YANBU I think you have done so well to have passed your test you would not have got that far if you were too scared.
I have never got as far as a test I have had lots of lessons but found it really stressful because I was so nervous.
I even hated driving downhill as I felt like it was out of control and so kept my foot hovering over the brake. There is no hope for me is there Sad

skybluepearl · 29/12/2011 23:14

that first year is a steap learning curve but wil make you a better driver

randommoment · 29/12/2011 23:20

You sound like a perfectly healthy and normal new driver to me (looks back over 20 years and remembers with a shudder getting posted onto a motorway for the first time because I'd missed the sliproad to avoid it...) you'll be fine! Happy motoring.

Original poster
ExcitedElectrons · 30/12/2011 13:46

kerstina you will be fine and you will thank yourself for it if you do pass - I was the same and made myself sick with worry before every lesson but then I got used to it and now I love it! Grin

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 30/12/2011 15:50

It takes time - which surprised me as I thought once you passed that was it! BUT really the saying "Once you have passed your test them you REALLY learn to drive" is very true!

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