to think that the French can't cook?

[Idratherbemuckingout]

I base this on experience, as I live in France. Okay, they have lovely restaurants, but the general public CANNOT cook.
My friend Dominique has just told my husband that she has bought a turkey for her family. She is going to boil it. He explained how the english cook theirs, but she thought it sounded too complicated.
Hmmm.
In the supermarkets you can of course buy fresh food, but having stood behind french people at the till countless times and seen their mountains of ready prepared meals, I doubt that many of them actually BUY the fresh food. Or if they do, that they cook anything interesting out of it.
I have a friend called Isabelle who is quite mad. We asked her once if she liked spicy food, thinking to cook her a curry. She declared that she did, but that she would bring us her signature dish. Chocolate Chicken. Yes, I kid you not, it was like chicken in chocolate sauce and it was NOT very spicy.
She also once asked us if we liked eating snails, and foolishly we said yes. "Ah," she said, "I 'ave a secret recipe zat I will cook for you. I shall collect snails in my garden (!!!!) and put zem in my snail 'otel and feed them special food and zen we will eat them together."
Well, the first year they died (silent sighs of relief) but the second year she did it again, and we were duly invited to her house. The kids refused point blank to go. DH tried to but I made him come with me. She had cooked us 200 snails. TBH they tasted much like all the other snails I have eaten - snaily. Not enough garlic in my opinion. That wouldn't have been so bad, but she followed it up with duck with apricots (very rich too) and then American Peach Pie. We had indigestion for days.
ANd they can't make coffee either. Never have I been to a french house and had a decent cup of coffee, or tea either if it comes to that.
They don't seem to possess kettles you see, so they heat the water in the microwave, to not boiling point. Then they give you the cup of hot water and a sachet (I kid you not) of instant coffee to stir into it, or a teabag to dunk.
My DS was at the local primary school and after the Christmas (not) spectacular, we stayed for the buffet meal. Poo Sausage was the highlight. You know you are mixing with peasants when the offal is high on the menu.
Poo Sausage (my DH called it that)is actually called Andouille, and is a bit like chitterlings, should any of you know what those are - ie made of some horrible bit of the insides of an animal.

I could go on, but I won't or this is going to look like an essay.

My French BIL can cook very well, even from basic ingredients. They are coming over for New Year's and we can't wait to see what he has in store for us! He has promised to do the cooking.

at the people horrified by the lack of "real kettles"

You do realise most of our mothers/grandparents in the UK managed perfectly well with a pan on the stove that had a whistle on it... formerly known as a kettle!

Boiled water is boiled water, no matter what way you boil it!

Just remembered a comment on them making good bread. Yes, some of it is, but you do have to watch out for what we laughingly call "weapons grade" as you could do someone a serious injury with it.
And their sliced bread is AWFUL. Okay, with all that "nice" bread, why do you want sliced? Because their other bread only stays fresh a day, and surprisingly if you don't want to shop EVERY day, then you need some sliced bread in. The sliced white is dry and sweet, the sliced brown is soft and sweet.
Urrrghh!
Love the croissants, pain au chocolat and pain au raisins though! But VERY bad for the tum.

The point is that they DON'T boil the water. It would be fine if they did, but they don't! I have given countless lessons to french friends in tea making. I even gave one of them a tea pot as a present.
Our kettle is of the old fashioned stove top with a whistle variety. It works very well.

bread only stays fresh a day, and surprisingly if you don't want to shop EVERY day, then you need some sliced bread in.

does it buggery... keep it in a bread bin and it will be fine! I buy freshly baked bread, slice it, and keep it airtight, and it is perfect 3 days later.

You do sound extremely hard to please, and hilariously unable to cope with french living!

YANBU - I think the French eat very well, but they don't necessarily cook well they are just good at shopping and buy top quality ingredients.

So when we go to stay with friends in France we have delicious steak, cooked v rare on the barbecue, with some salad - followed by fantastic cheese and a delectable fruit tart from the patisserie. No real cooking involved.

Agree that baguette is yummy but goes stale extremely quickly - once had a long lecture about the difference between two different types of baguette but buggered if i could tell the difference.

French in-laws seem to subsist solely on oysters and foie gras. Delicious - but no cooking involved.

And unless you go to a restaurant you know is good, you can have some very mediocre meals.

I live in France...from my experience:
They don't really drink tea and if they do, dont add milk so don't expect to get a decent cup (I import Irish tea which is the best kind) but they do great tisane & herbal teas
Fresh milk is for the tourists, everyone else drinks uht
Birthday parties mean haribo
Their per capita consumption of mcdonalds is one of the highest in the world but...

Fresh veg where we are is amazing, if you eat seasonally. Tomatoes in summer are a different fruit to anything I ever tasted in London
Everyone I know seems to be able to make the most gorgeous cakes
Boulangeries are amazing
If you want good food you go to the market and specialist shops, not the supermarkets
Like everywhere restaurants are hit and miss but there are definitely amazing good value ones there but most are French as opposed to international cuisine
Cheese trollies mmmm

Your French friends clearly secretly dislike you and save the nice food for people you they like.
Which region are you in? I've eating in French homes in lots of places in France and never had a bad meal, even with my student friends who didn't have much money.

YANBU My French friend cooked a undefrosted frozen chicken for our dinner :(

*Disclaimer - I've only ever had, one french friend.

You don't seem to be enjoying life out there very much op, perhaps time to move on?

FWIW I have also experienced the water boiled in a pan to make tea too many times to mention. Thankfully our best friends have just bought a kettle and a recent supply of black tea from a holiday in London so no more polite smiles as I'm offered a luke warm cup of herbal tea

I personally find French resturants are either amazing or dreadful, without much in the middle. It's getting better for vegetarians (slowly) but they don't really understand it. Our canteen at work has started offering a vege option this year but it mostly consists of various mashed vegetables under the guise of a "gratin".

While most of our friends are marvelous cooks they do tend to serve up really baby-ish food for their children - uncooked slices of ham with some sort of boiled veg seems to be a favourite.

And the stereotypes surrounding british food are just ridiculous.

Try finding a foreign restaurant here. Afraid of the competition.
Okay, there are a few, but far between.

You still haven't said whereabouts you are, but aren't there at least any North African or Chinese restaurants? I've spent lots of time in different parts of France and never been anywhere that didn't feature one or two of those, and usually something Italian as well.

does it buggery... keep it in a bread bin and it will be fine! I buy freshly baked bread, slice it, and keep it airtight, and it is perfect 3 days later.

Well the stuff I bought in France was always stale the next day, and all that white refined flour played havoc with my digestion. French white bread is nice but I consider it a luxury rather than something I would eat regularly. By the time I got back to the UK I could kill for a slice of Hovis wholemeal granary toast!

I used to like yesterday's baguette sliced and grilled for petit déjeuner

"keep it in a bread bin and it will be fine! I buy freshly baked bread, slice it, and keep it airtight, and it is perfect 3 days later"

Ohhh not convinced - it may not have blue moulded but it most certainly not be in a perfect state after being kept in an air tight container for 3 days. The best bread is allowed to breath. The crust will be chewy, not crusty and I would not consider that a perfect state for any bread - my own included.

YANBU. Confidence isn't the same as competence

Hmmm, I think the real problem is you seem to be expecting good food from large supermarkets. That's never going to happen really.

I live in France. I buy my veg from the organic (bio) farmer's market. I buy my meat from the local butcher. I go to the boulangerie every day if I want fresh bread, or every second day if the bread will do. When I can afford it, I buy fresh pasta from the local traiteur. I get my spices and legumes from the algerian guy down the road, who also sells thés et infusions en vrac. I don't go to Carrefour, I don't go to Auchan, and I certainly don't go to Géant Casino. I have been known to go to ED or Lidl on occasion though for cheap tins of tomatoes etc. :)

I would suggest that if the people you know are going to hypermarchés and expecting to eat good food, then they are sadly mistaken.

To sum up: France; you are doing it wrong.

Is that a message to France, Theala?

If so, I concur

DH family are Belgian. We have visited and stayed with them many times and have always had meals that I thought were odd. Roast dinner with frozen vegetables and frozen potato croquettes instead of roasted/boiled/mashed. They seemed to think this was very posh and a real treat, however croquettes are the sort of thing I'd give the kids with sausage and beans!
MIL makes a delicious salad of raw onion, raw garlic and lettuce.....all drowning in vegetable oil .
The bread is as been described by OP, all fresh or sweetened, no good for sandwiches and needs to be bought daily....not good when camping.
Also, no fresh milk. It was all UHT cartons, rows and rows of it in every supermarket, and no bacon (this messed up our tradition of bacon sarnies for breakfast when on a camping holiday!)
The tradition of giving guests cake/biscuits/crisps every time they come was lovely for the adults, but a bit embarrassing with the children, as they would be starving with the lack of a decent breakfast (!) and kept eating loads...then more would be brought out. Far more than I would have ever allowed them at home, and I felt guilty at how many packets they were consuming.
And again, tea like dishwater!

No, that is actually a message to the OP. :) I think most people who've lived in France for some time know that stuff like putting milk in hot drinks is a disgusting, perverted aberration. I still do it though. :)

Completely agree with usuallydormant.

The comment about trolleys pulled high with ready meals made me laugh. The majority of supermarkets, in my experience have very few fresh ready meals maybe 8-10.

I lived over their as an au pair for 18 months and my experience was that the majority of families cooked from scratch - very different to what I experienced in England.

I live in France. OP you're bonkers

Look, most PEOPLE cannot cook, whatever the country.

I lived in the UK for 6 years, I went to the homes of English friends many times for dinner and never once had a decent meal, I swear to you.

Do I think the English cannot cook? Yes. No, I think I just didn't happen to know any good cooks in London.

I live in NW France now and the food is amazing. Have not had a bad meal yet, well okay my MIL can get a little creative with the pasta dishes sometimes but it's not bad, just a little weird.

I'm sure there are bad cooks here, I just haven't met any yet.

Meanwhile the food you can buy is just divine. Fresh fish, local organic produce, cheap local wines, yummmmm I never want to leave.

There* even....

Well, the cheese is ok. Some is even great, But there are many cheeses from many other countries which are as good or even better. Take a really good Stilton. Or a nice Swiss Vacherin, or Gorgonzola. There is an English Brie type cheese called Waterloo. It's made with guernsey milk, and is excellent. I meet French people all the time, who are convinced that unless it's French, it's no good. Well I've got news for them...

its like an al murray rant about France
orrible food
rotten tea and worst thing is it's france