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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to shout at the man in my office to stop sniffing

28 replies

Sillyshell · 29/12/2011 16:44

It's driving me insane. He doesnt have a cold, it's more like a nervous habit. It seems to get worse the more stressed he is. It's so quiet in our office and it's all I can seem to focus on today.

I just want to say to him, do you want a tissue, no then shut up!

OP posts:
hellhasnofury · 29/12/2011 16:47

Oh I hear you. I work with a very beautiful, elegant looking woman who would be elegant if she didn't have a sniff that would put most all-in wrestlers to shame. Her's appears to be a habit too but it drives me insane.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 29/12/2011 16:49

What about taking him a box of tissues, smiling sweetly and saying "I thought you could use these, you seem to be suffering a bit, do you have a cold?"

nice and passive aggressive, as we are so fond of on here Grin

Flanelle · 29/12/2011 16:50

Yanbu.

AmberLeaf · 29/12/2011 16:52

YABU.

I as a child and sometimes now as an adult suffer terribly with allergic rhinitis.

I couldnt help it and I expect he cant either.

As annoying as it is to you, be assured it bothers him more.

AllGoodNamesGone · 29/12/2011 16:52

Agree with Hectate. Offer him some tissues nicely, and some vitamin C if you have any!

AmberLeaf · 29/12/2011 16:52

..and no blowing your nose doesnt help.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 29/12/2011 16:55

But you can wipe rather than sniff?

Original poster
Sillyshell · 29/12/2011 17:03

I know I'm not being very nice and maybe he has some wrong with him etc, but it just grates on me.

When you listen to it all day, 5 days a week, it does start to get to you.

Think I will offer a tissue and see what happens!

OP posts:
Mishy1234 · 29/12/2011 17:10

If it's a nervous habit then I think you would really embarrass him if you mentioned it, especially by offering tissues. I think it would be really cruel tbh.

Mishy1234 · 29/12/2011 17:11

Also, it you KNOW it wouldn't be very nice, then why do it?

JuliaScurr · 29/12/2011 17:12

YANBU. Really. I'd go mad, too.

springydaffs · 29/12/2011 17:12

I'm completely with you on this, it would drive me BONKERS. I once offered a tissue to someone on the tube who wouldn't stop sniffing (OTT) (of me that is). You could plainly say, apologies, but his sniffing is driving you insane, does he have a problem? Or, failing that, go the passive-aggressive middle-class route and offer him a hanky.

Selks · 29/12/2011 17:14

YABU. It may be something such as a tic disorder that he has no control over.
We all have to exert a little tolerance sometimes.

PregolaLolaOnAlittleDonkey · 29/12/2011 17:15

i listen to it all the time as my dad has severe rhinitis

i't bothers him so much, so YABU if you asked my dad he would laugh and ask you if you knew how it felt to have a tap on constant drip as a nose.

chances are its not a nervous habit and i'm certain if he needs a tissue he will have he's own as he will probably need to carry them constantly my dad gets really quite embarrassed about it and being passive aggressive about something a person can't control is rude and nasty

i know that was a bit of full on and over the top reaction but it irks me as it irks my dad.

PregolaLolaOnAlittleDonkey · 29/12/2011 17:16

*it

TooEasilyTempted · 29/12/2011 17:17

YANBU to feel like you want to shout at him but if it's a nervous thing YABU to actually do it or to do anything else that has been suggested. You'll probably make it worse.

Original poster
Sillyshell · 29/12/2011 17:17

I've been tolerant for over a year now. As I say I'm sure he cant help it or probably doesnt even realise he is doing it but I cant help how it makes me feel.

It's like I tune into it mid morning then it's all I can hear for the rest of the day, maybe I'm the one with the problem!

OP posts:
Mishy1234 · 29/12/2011 17:22

YANBU to feel annoyed by it. I am positive I would feel the same way. My brother sniffs a lot and it drives me CRAZY. Could you ask to move desks or would that be too obvious?

However, what will saying something actually achieve? Will it REALLY make you feel better, or just really shit that you've caused him excruciating embarrassment? If it's been going on for a year it's obviously a long term issue and he's probably painfully aware of how irritating other people find it.

bemybebe · 29/12/2011 17:22

I think you should give him a box of tissues and he should give you a voucher to relaxation classes.

In my 12 years of working in a very busy office I never focused on background noises (I was an analyst, then a trader). You should try it also. You will feel liberated.

Selks · 29/12/2011 17:24

I do think you're the one with the problem, and I'm not meaning that in a nasty way. You need to find a way to cope and to manage how you feel. Could you wear headphones and listen to quiet music?

PregolaLolaOnAlittleDonkey · 29/12/2011 17:25

and tolerance is something we must all have, and i'm certain you really can't help how it makes you feel but you can help whether or not you 'shout at him to stop'

Original poster
Sillyshell · 29/12/2011 17:29

Its only a small office so there's no where else to go really. I'm not really going to shout at him as your right Mishy1234, it would make me feel crap and just embarrass him. I'm just at the end of my tether and needed to let it out.

I think Im biased as I dont really like him to be honest. I'm sure if it was someone else it wouldnt annoy me quite so much

OP posts:
PipaLockstocking · 29/12/2011 17:29

I have, before, offered fellow passengers on the tube, a tissue. I know that I've been caught out and started to sniff and would have loved someone to do likewise.

Sounds like this is more than that. Perhaps he's not even aware of what he is doing. I think you should offer him a tissue. As I said, perhaps he's not even aware.

Mishy1234 · 29/12/2011 17:31

It's very irritating I know SillyShell. At least I can leave the room with my brother. I don't know what to suggest apart from trying to zone it out.

PregolaLolaOnAlittleDonkey · 29/12/2011 17:48

silly see i like my dad hence the tolerance Grin