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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

re my MIL. I know I am but don't care.

42 replies

theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:19

Trust me when I say my MIL is a nasty old cow who has made dig after dig to me over the years, and is really just so mean to DH. I have never said anything back though I keep saying that 'next time' I will -then wimp out every time next time comes.

Anyway, she clearly favours BIL over DH, everyone knows it, and she is really cruel about it.

The other day she put on facebook a picture of her and BIL with the caption 'me and my favourite son' which wouldn't be so offensive if it wasn't for all the background history and blatant favouring of BIL, and it wound me up so much that I have just put up as my facebook status that 'DS enjoyed making cakes with his favourite grandma (my DM) today'. So immature but HA it feels so good! (MIL never visits DS anyway). Preparing for a lynching!

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 28/12/2011 20:21

It's all a bit petty - if she's a 'nasty cow' then sinking to her level says something eh? FB is the work of the devil you know.

RandomMess · 28/12/2011 20:21

It's horrid isn't it. MIL and SIL always have loads of stuff "daughters are special", Mum and daughter stuff, thoughtful random gifts to SIL always posted on FB.

They wonder why dh feels unwanted!

LydiaWickham · 28/12/2011 20:24

The thing is, to everyone else you are friends with on FB will think you're an arse to your MIL. Take the comment off. Be a better person. Raise your DS to see you being a kind person.

griphook · 28/12/2011 20:24

my mil told me my bil was her favourite child, she didn't need to, it is very clear anyway. so yanbu love your fb status, but maybe you could be more obvious and put up a pic of your dh with the caption 'number 2 son'

skybluepearl · 28/12/2011 20:26

you should put underneath it - and BIL with my least favouite relative

Figgyrollsintoapudding · 28/12/2011 20:28

It can carry on to the next generation too......Sad DD 4 already has cottoned on to not being the favourite Sad especially when asked by her cousin what she got for xmas from dgm after reeling off a huge list of expensive toys whilst dd only mentioned one - which d cousin also got (from the cat Sad) DH feels really like shit about that I can tell you.

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:30

I know it's petty and it probably makes me look awful to everyone, but I've bit my tongue for so long and it feels sooo good to be petty back to her for once! Waiting to see how long it will take to get a reaction now, if she even notices it, doubt she would read my FB statuses and not sure how often she goes on FB.

OP posts:
everlong · 28/12/2011 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:31

Oh yes, Figgy, I know how that feels! It's the same for DS!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 28/12/2011 20:33

just delete her ,no more fb drama

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:35

She has many other mediums to wind me up other than through FB...if I delete her she won't get to see my status!

OP posts:
everlong · 28/12/2011 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 28/12/2011 20:40

If you want the drama then just carry on your fb war ,otherwise rise above it and get on with your life

clam · 28/12/2011 20:42

The thing is, you can never now complain about her favouring BIL, as she will always be able to quote your FB post back at you, putting you in the same boat.

Ponders · 28/12/2011 20:44

maybe as well as cutting her out of your FB you should consider cutting her out of all your lives, completely, for a bit & see what happens (if anything)

being around her doesn't benefit any of you, does it?

(I don't understand how parents can treat their children like this Sad)

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:44

Ah well, now she'll know at least a little bit how it must feel for DH. And for DS who features about as highly in her list of priorities.

OP posts:
Angelswings · 28/12/2011 20:45

Somehow we managed to hold our tounges when Fil in front of his 3 sons, 3 diL and 4 grandchildren said

Don't drink many more wife, you are driving my favourite son home

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 28/12/2011 20:46

Yes Ponders, that's my plan - it'll have to be now I've put that status up anyway. It'd take her a long while to notice we'd cut her out though! I can't understand the way she is to DH and DS either, it annoys me more than DH though, he's so conditioned to it.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/12/2011 20:46

There is only one thing to do-ignore.

ByTheSea · 28/12/2011 20:48

As my MIL is an even more appalling cow, I love what you've done and have lived and smiled vicariously through it.

tringle · 28/12/2011 20:51

YANBU leave the comment up for the nasty b!tch to see :)

MustControlMincepieOfDeath · 28/12/2011 20:52

Angelswings Shock Shock what did 'wife' say??!

Angelswings · 28/12/2011 22:15

As usual nothing!

I often wonder what would happen if we just said what we felt and meant. We are so polite and it just makes things fester

Original poster
theoldfrazzledazzle · 31/12/2011 18:57

Update...

MIL didn't respond directly, but DH's younger brother's fiance has put on her facebook status this afternoon 'happy new year everyone, may be looking at having our wedding in 2013 rather than 2012'. MIL has commented with 'please do it soon, I need something to look forward to!' (I'm heavily pregnant - her only grandchild other than DS)

I won't respond this time!

OP posts:
EuphemiaAtHogmanay · 31/12/2011 19:07

My MIL is a bitter old bag too - all the bad things in her life are always someone else's fault, and she seems to think DH and I are there to help her sort it out.

We're moving further away from her soon and I am very very pleased. She can stew in her own juice.

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