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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think if this many children round here are gifted we're a f***ing statistical anomaly?

75 replies

philbee · 28/12/2011 19:06

Gah! Am just fed up of people telling me in a hush hush way that their preschooler is massively intelligent and probably or definitely gifted. 'Such a concern for us to find the right environment in which to nurture their incredible skills.' AIBU for suspecting that we aren't on the dawn of a big-brained new era, and they are just delusional and loved up?

OP posts:

Gigondas · 28/12/2011 19:07

have just snorted my drink over phone. Suspect you are right it's not the dawn of a new age

TheBlackDahlia · 28/12/2011 19:08

Just be there for them when they realise that their little darlings are in fact average at best and still unable to tie their shoelaces at 14. It will happen.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2011 19:09

YANBU... I don't even know if 'normal' registers anymore?

Give me a normal, fallible, imperfect child any day of the week.

Lynli · 28/12/2011 19:13

Discovered MN when googling for advice on gifted children, so maybe it attracts people that feel they can confess their terrible secret here.

Toddlers are just so amazing that many people underestimate what they can do and think their normal child must be gifted.

Some just love their little ones so much they think they are the best at everything.

None of the above are hurting anyone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2011 19:16

Sometimes they hurt their child, Lynli. It's not helpful to tell a child that they're too marvellous for words at anything and everything. It's the 'X-Factor' all over again when a child who has been stuffed full of nonsense is told they can sing better than anybody else - and they get a huge smack in the face from Simon Cowell.

Better that a child's REAL individual talent is recognised and nurtured, but just as easily - a non-talented child nurtured and encouraged to be a good all-rounder in the same way.

We need engineers as well as pop singers - moreso, in fact.

mumblechum1 · 28/12/2011 19:17

The only G&T I expected from my ds was that he could be trained to make the perfect cocktail by the time he was 13.

exoticfruits · 28/12/2011 19:22

People have very little idea of what the normal DC can do. Often there are threads on here with people wondering how a school will cope with their amazing DC-they will be fine, in with all the other amazing DCs!
People get over it once the DC gets to about 7yrs.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2011 19:27

When I was in seconday school, there were maybe one or two children who were gifted/talented, out of about 800 or so.

exoticfruits · 28/12/2011 19:30

Sounds what you would expect, LyingWitch. I know very few gifted/talented DCs, but lots of parents who think they have a G/T DC.

Rosemallow · 28/12/2011 19:39

Had a good chuckle at this thread title! Maybe there is a direct correlation between mumsnet use and gifted DC? mine should be geniuses
A word of warning to all those out there with these amazing DC: I was 'gifted and talented' at school and even earmarked for great things when at university. All it did in the long run was give me a huge fear of failure.

AnotherMincepie · 28/12/2011 19:42

I think it's harmless at worst, encouraging high standards at best. Far more of a problem is when people take no interest in their child's education, abilities and interests.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2011 19:48

exoticfruits... I think the assessment was different then also (80s). One of the G&T (reminds me of gin and tonic!) pupils was in my class. He was a maths genius, really very, very clever. He was already working on 'O'levels/'A'levels in Form 1 (11/12).

People who were good at singing went into the choir, the growlers were asked to sing very quietly... those were the benchmarks then, sans Simon Cowell...

LineRunner · 28/12/2011 19:51

BlackDahlia My DS is 14 and allegedly Gifted and Talented in many subjects and struggles to tie his shoelaces and brush his teeth in the morning. However did you know?

We call it the Dawning of the Age of Aquafresh.

exoticfruits · 28/12/2011 20:23

I think it is the top 10% now which means that G/T in one school can be very commonplace in another. My assessment is a DC who stands out, like the 13yr old in the 6th form maths class.

Mandy2003 · 28/12/2011 20:24

Well it sounds like they'll be clubbing together to start a Free School then!

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/12/2011 20:28

Actually it can harm children. That fear of failure makes them give up much more quickly than 'normal' children meaning that, ultimately, they will do less well than their peers. I am still incredibly lazy because I was clever and didn't have to work hard.

MissMerrynder · 28/12/2011 20:30

I was labelled as "gifted" at school; especially in music and the arts.

From the age of 15 I soon clicked on that this would pretty much give me licence to run riot and do as I pleased and became a master manipulator.

Academically, I was great, but my personal life was terrible and however I managed to not get pregnant or in a very sticky situation, I do not know.

So, have G&T kids is not all sunshine and rainbows. My mum will tell you that!

MissMerrynder · 28/12/2011 20:31

YY MrsTP I completely agree! I'm extremely lazy too!

snowmummy · 28/12/2011 20:32

YANBU. I think some parents labelling their children as G and T is harmful. It puts the kids under way too much pressure at an early age. The parents that go on about their wonderful offspring are those who are insecure. They need to get a grip and let their children be children.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/12/2011 20:35

I'm glad it's not just me!

exoticfruits · 28/12/2011 20:38

Here, hear snowmummy. You would never guess that most DCs are average-even MN ones!

reelingintheyears · 28/12/2011 20:39

It's all bollocks.

DS1 was called 'gifted and talented' and he refused to stay and do 'A' levels and did a BTECH instead ,then decided he should have done them.

We said ok and then he pissed about and didn't bother taking them.

All's well that ends well....he's now an apprentice marine electrician at sunseekers and guess what?

We are still supporting him.

McSnail · 28/12/2011 20:39

This thread makes me think of an episode of Real Housewives of New York (anyone watch that? I only admit it because I'm anonymous on here) ANYWAY - slappably smug parents who thought their three year old was ultra gifted, took him to an educational specialist of some kind, and it was painfully obvious that child in question was just, well, average. They weren't in the room to witness the blatant display of average, sadly.

Sometimes I find myself thinking my kid (two) is gifted, but I know deep down it's just a proud parent thing and most parents go through it, justified or not. :)

MogTheForgetfulCat · 28/12/2011 20:46

I thought OP was referring to the area where she lives (wherever that may be - although suspect it's Bath, as most parents of toddlers round here seem to think their DC are veh clever ) rather than MN for gifted bods.

But anyway, NBU - DS1's Reception teacher practically kissed me when I had the introductory chat with her and said that I didn't think he is particularly bright. By which I don't at all mean that I think he is in any way dense - just not stand-out bright. It seems that I was significantly in the majority of his class of 30 in saying that.

southeastastra · 28/12/2011 20:47

i think if we did have so many 'gifted and intelligent' humans not the world wouldn't be in such a mess

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