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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that children should not jump on the furniture

44 replies

onthebus · 27/12/2011 19:05

So we (me, DH and 2 DC) were round at my parents' house on Christmas day. Also present were my brother SiL and their 2 DC.

Due to space, during lunch, the 4 children (aged 4-8) were seated at a separate table in the lounge, the adults were at a table in the adjoining dining area (so we could see the DC and they could see us).

During lunch, my 2 DC sat reasonably quietly and ate their meals. My brother and SiL's DC ran about, jumped on the sofa and climbed over the tables and chairs. At no point did my brother or SiL do anything to stop them. My parents (who tiptoe round SiL for fear of being accused of "interfering") looked a bit worried for their furniture but also said nothing. After about 10 minutes of this, DD (who knows better) decided she might as well copy her cousins and got onto the sofa. Whereupon DH told her in no uncertain terms that she should get straight off and go back and sit at the table. Which she did.

At this point, SiL rather ineffectually "suggested" to her DC that they should also get down and eat their meals. They both sat down for approximately 10 seconds and then got up and started jumping about again. She then said rather vaguely to the rest of us "I guess they are just that age where they climb on the furniture, they love jumping on the sofa at home". WTF!!! AIBU to think that climbing on the furniture/jumping on the sofa is not an acceptable behavioural phase, but something that should be discouraged at every turn. Or have I missed some alternative universe where it is actually ok in some circumstances ...?

OP posts:
liveinazoo · 27/12/2011 19:13

if you missed the bus to this universe so did iGrin.under NO circumstances are mine allowed to jump on the furniture(including beds etc)imo that called having respect!

HereWeGoLoopyLou · 27/12/2011 19:14

What is happening to people when they allow their children to behave like this?
I really don't understand it.

tigerlillyd02 · 27/12/2011 19:16

YANBU - surprised you even need to ask!

DS (2.1) has recently realised he can climb up onto the sofa and not just to sit but to stand and mess around. He too copies from his cousins who are 5 and 6.

Each and every time he's been told a stern "no" and made to get down with an explantion as to why - for example falling and hurting himself and the phrase "chairs are for bums, not feet". He quickly gets the message, fortunately. But, I don't even find it acceptable at his age, never mind 4-8!

I am understanding of the fact he's just learnt to do it and therefore is trying to do something he thinks is fun, especially after he sees others doing it and finding it very funny. However, it doesn't for one second mean I allow it and let him think it's OK because it's not!

Winkly · 27/12/2011 19:18

Not only did I miss that bus but never saw the timetable! 4

dobby2001 · 27/12/2011 19:22

Ooh am so glad everyone is saying the same here! I have a "no climbing or jumping on furniture" rule in my house for any child that crosses the threshold and was wondering if I am just a miserable old bag Smile

merrymonsters · 27/12/2011 19:24

I don't think climbing on a sofa or chair is the crime of the century. I don't mind my kids doing it in my own house, but they know not to do it in someone else's house.

Those kids were being rude doing it in the grandparents' house especially when you were all sitting there with a 'cat's bum mouth', but I don't think it would be a big deal in their own house when it's not dinner time.

liveinazoo · 27/12/2011 19:25

theres a lot of miserable olod bags out there too themWinki even go as far as to intervene if parents dont chastise their kids in my home for jumpin gon my furniture...im not house proud but rules are rules and i dont want my kids thinking its ok cos someone else does it

EndoplasmicReticulum · 27/12/2011 19:26

Mine are not allowed to jump on the furniture. Sometimes they do so anyway, but I try my best to stop them. They certainly wouldn't be doing it in someone else's house.

CuriosityCola · 27/12/2011 19:26

onthebus I agree that this is not acceptable behaviour. I could have written your post. Dh and I had an almighty row when I suggested his sister needed to be spoken to our the kids be given rules on arrival. Sofa surfing is taking the mic. Angry

CuriosityCola · 27/12/2011 19:28

*or not our

QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 27/12/2011 19:29

My children are allowed to jump/clamber on the sofas and beds in our house, it's not something I get my knickers in a twist about, however they are not allowed to do it at other peoples.

Chewbecca · 27/12/2011 19:33

YANBU but I accept that others don't mind. My own DSis for example, when her DC jump on my sofa, does correct them, but always by saying 'aunty chewbecca doesn't let you do that' thus making it clear that it's me being mean and she would allow it.

Pursang · 27/12/2011 19:40

Sofa jumping is an acceptable passtime in out house, but I would NEVER EVER allow them to do it at anyone else's - they know this and don't do it. They are also 2 & 1, and are already more or less bored of it. YANBU, & your DB & SIL are BU to allow their DC to behave this way in someone else's house.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 27/12/2011 19:40

This is what I like about Mumsnet: just as I'm feeling like my family is abnormal because everyone shares a viewpoint which is different to mine, someone will always come along to offer reassurance! We let ours climb on the sofas and make dens and trains and boats and planes with the cushions but no jumping and certainly none of the above at anyone else's house.

Pursang · 27/12/2011 19:40

*pastime

gamerwidow · 27/12/2011 19:43

Jumping on the sofa fine for DD, 17 months, in my house but not at other people's. She goes to a CM 3 days a week and there is a strict no jumping on furniture rule which is enforced so hopefully she will realise that different places have different rules.

ReindeerBollocks · 27/12/2011 19:43

My DCs would never be allowed to behave like that in someone else's house. That is quite rude behaviour IMO,

In our house they do play dens and sometimes sofa jump depending on the game but purposefully being reckless with furniture is discouraged. I'm quite shocked they stand on tables too!

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 27/12/2011 19:45

Also want to add, having had two very stressful mealtimes with family on Christmas Day, that sometimes if you know the children are tired and over-excited and too hyper to eat, spending your whole mealtime trying to get them to sit down and focus is sometimes just so stressful for everyone involved that I can understand why someone would just let them get on and play. Not saying it's right but I can totally sympathise!

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 19:52

I've never allowed mine to jump on our furniture, I cant afford to replace it! Grin

captainmummy · 27/12/2011 20:05

I had a new kitchen and shortly after held a BBQ out in the garden for several couples and kids. I came into my new kitchen to find 1 of the girls standing on my new worktop, in fact dancing on it. I didn't go mad, but i also didn't wait for mum/dad to turn up to tell her off. (she was 12 tho) She got down pretty smartish. (i did find the same girl a few years later in my DS3s room, chucking his underpants into the garden. Some people are just short of manners)

I recognise the (weak/pathetic) 'don't do that, don't do that, don't do that - oh you never listen to me anyway'. Actually by then I've normally stopped listening too, so why should the kids?

FetchezLaVache · 27/12/2011 20:05

YANBU and I think it's a damn shame your PIL felt unable to say anything when it's their furniture being trashed.

EdithWeston · 27/12/2011 20:13

Mine climbed all over the sofa when small (jumping never allowed though); but they were well capable of learning from a very young age that different houses have different rules and they are expected to fall in with the house rules wherever they are.

You do not say how old the DCs in question are, but it is a pity if they haven't learned the rudiments of behaviour by the time they've been in school a while.

lljkk · 27/12/2011 20:15

yabu about "every turn" & yanbu about being shocked your ILs didn't try to stop it.
Mine are allowed to clambor about on our furniture (within limits, and I loathe our sofas since you ask) but not on other people's furniture. I have pretty rambunctious kids but they'd all abide by that.

itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 27/12/2011 20:24

Actually I have a friend whose DC are allowed to do this. The youngest DC (same age as mine) climbs over the back of the sofa onto the windowsill and pulls at the curtains and bashes on the window. This is ok, apparently Confused

chickflick · 27/12/2011 21:08

Well I think if kids can't jump on Grandma's furniture ( if Grandma is ok with it)then it's rather a shame really.I would most certainly allow this but only if it were acceptable to the owners of the furniture in question.
Were you never alllowed to jump on things?
Did you never have races over the back of the sofa/car seat with your siblings?

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