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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Petrified, and don't know where to turn.

55 replies

Louboo2245 · 27/12/2011 03:45

I am currently at 38 weeks pregnant with my second child (M is 7) and about 6 weeks ago was diagnosed with Gall stones.
In order to curb the pain and attacks I adjusted my diet etc, unfortunately the week before Christmas I has a major attack and had to go into hospital where I had a endoscopic procedure for pancreatictitis.
During this time my family were fantastic and looked after M for me, and I was released just in time for Christmas.
While I was in hospital I was given a mixture of morphine, tramadol, cyclodine and other pain killing drugs, During this time I was monitored closely and baby is fine.
Though I seem to have been released from hospital with no further information or support and now am going through what seems the most horrific withdrawal symptoms as well as anxiety attacks and depression about having another child.
I am scared of being left on my own, sleeping at night as well as being restless and sick as well.
If anyone has insights in what I should do I would love to hear them. I'm so scared of myself it is untrue. What I would really like is to go back into hospital so I know that I am in the right place, but I know hat this isn't an option. Please Help x

OP posts:

LineRunner · 27/12/2011 03:49

Louboo, at 38 weeks pregnant I wouldn't mess about - call for help from the ambulance service if you need it and they'll start to help you sort out the care you need.

Trust me, they'd rather be with a pregnant lady that needs the help than you struggling on your own.

OrangeGloss · 27/12/2011 03:49

You poor thing. I didn't want to read and run, but am kit sure what use I can be, except to offer sympathy and hope someone else will be along soon. Did the hospital give you any numbers? How about your MW?

tigerlillyd02 · 27/12/2011 03:50

Seems as there's not many people up now, I didn't want to just read and leave you to it, although I don't have a lot of advice I'm afraid.

Do you have a partner home with you?

What exactly is it you're scared of?

What are these withdrawal symptoms?

Were you anxious about having your second child before going into hospital?

bragmatic · 27/12/2011 03:51

Sorry you're feeling so awful. You said your family were fantastic when you were ill, can you call one of them? I'm sure they'd understand. Do you have a good GP?

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 03:59

I know nothing about the meds you've been on but I know a little about anxiety attacks. They are horrible, but nothing will happen to you. Chatting helps.

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 04:04

I'm up for a while if you want to tell me about your day, or have a mini rant, etc :)

Original poster

Louboo2245 · 27/12/2011 04:16

Thanks guys.
I've been up since about 2, Hubby laid asleep next to me. Don't want to wake him as he has to work all this week. He has been incredibly supportive and put up with all the moments of weepiness and carried on over Christmas brilliantly.
As I said he has to go to work today (12 -9 pm) and this will be the first time I am on my own as M is at his Grandmas til tomorrow night.
I'm scared of going into labour, and yes I can call on my family but feel I have put upon them so much recently, I don't want to do it again.
I'm also having second thoughts of having another child, esp as M has recently said he hates the baby (this was while I was ill in hospital) and I feel I can't give him the attention he has been used to for the past 7 years. I know it's too late now, and there is no going back, but then it makes me wonder about how I am going to feel about a second child, once she's here.

My withdrawal symptoms are, restlessness, sickness and sleeplessness mainly. I don't know whether to carry on with the drugs they have prescribed me at home or just to go cold turkey altogether and see if things get better. My doctors is good but I don't want to bother them unnecessarily and My widwife is next to useless, I have seen her twice since I fell pregnant.

OP posts:

sashh · 27/12/2011 04:28

The painkillers you have been given are addictive and it is not unknown to go through a withdrawal after only three days use.

Call NHS direct and talk through what you have been given to take home. You then need to decide whether to go through this cold turkey - as you seem to be doing now, or to take pills and taper them off.

The second thoughts you are having are also withdrawal symptoms, it's a sort of mild paranoia.

Please call NHS direct they are there 24/7.

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 04:31

The guilt you're feeling is normal louboo, when I had dd I couldn't bring myself to say the same goodnight message to her that I always said to ds. It was "our" thing. I was worried about loving them both and felt somehow I was being awful to ds. It took a while, months, perhaps a year until I felt completely ok with it but 8 years on I can honestly say it isnt an issue.

becsparkel · 27/12/2011 04:42

Go see your GP tomorrow, get an emergency appointment and don't take no for an answer - you need help to cope with the withdrawal symptoms, they shouldn't have discharged you like that, I'm surprised they didn't keep you in.

Can you also discuss how you are feeling to you GP? Is he/she sympathetic? Because it sounds as though you need to talk to someone about your worries - i would recommend seeing someone professional to talk to like a counsellor but in the mean time can you reach out to a friend?

With regards to what M said, it's possible he got freaked out by you being in hospital. Did you explain why you went in? I'm sure he will change his mind once the baby is there, kids tend to love babies and you can involve him in looking after the baby so that he feels part of it all.

Really hope you start to feel better soon, so crap to have to go through all of this, you're doing brilliantly! Just hang in there.

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 04:53

They do change their minds, there's seven (ish) years between my two. Dd says boys are stupid, ds says his sister is a pain in the bum (I agree)...but they love each other.

Dd was in hospital a few years back and ds was frantic, though you wouldn't imagine it if you saw them now wrestling on the sofa and being generally awful

BlingLoving · 27/12/2011 05:44

Is there any chance you are in early labour? Restlessness etc?

I would definitely call gp/midwife tomorrow. They can advise and monitor. I'd also say your fears at this stage are very normal and understandable. Good luck.

Flimflammery · 27/12/2011 06:36

Don't struggle on without getting help, please do as others have said and call NHS Direct or get an emergency appointment with your GP. If you're having withdrawal symptoms they can help you, or at least talk you through your fears.

shrinkingnora · 27/12/2011 06:46

Tramadol withdrawal is appalling. I was prescribed it after having my gall bladder out and took it fir a couple of days. It took over a week for the withdrawal to stop completely. I had several totally sleepless nights and would sit watching the muscles in my legs contract. You will feel better very soon, honest. I was shocked at what a huge effect the withdrawal had on me, both physically and mentally.

staylucky · 27/12/2011 06:57

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. Only advice I can really offer is regarding the age gap. There are 7 years between DD1 and DS1, at the time it seemed hard on DD as she was very much a typical 'only' and had been used to 100% of attention etc but can honestly say now it has been fantastic for us all as a family having this age gap. Being older she coped better with the first few months of disruption, was a MASSIVE help for me with baby DS and around the house and most importantly has the best relationship now with her brother. It has changed her in that she's more patient, loving, willing to share and gets on much better with other children/ her friends too.
I won't lie it is hard going from 1 to 2 but you sound like you have. Lovely DH and family and don't be afraid to ask fr their help no matter how much they've already done, they'll be glad you could ask and feel useful.
Hope you get along to your docs or call NHS direct soon x x

ViviPrudolf · 27/12/2011 10:02

First, you need to wean yourself off the painkillers. As sashh says, NHS direct is the best starting point for this.

Then you must continue to self-manage the gallstone symptoms via diet adjustment as you have been doing. Having spent Christmas Day 2008 in A&E before my gallbladder removal I throughly sympathise with how difficult this can be at this time of year, but as you know, as long as you do not eat ANY saturated fats, you should be ok.

Everything combined is getting on top of you. Clear your head and get some perspective.

Original poster

Louboo2245 · 27/12/2011 10:24

Well Ladies. I have discovered I left my pregnancy notes in hospital so I have no contact numbers for my midwife or the maternity unit in Wakefield. After much phoning around I have found that my midwife is not duty today but will ring me tomorrow.
We have tried ringing NHS direct but were left on hold for over 30 minutes so gave up, also tried ringing the maternity suite at pinderfields but no answer my doctors are not answering either. So far not had any meds this morning and feeling okay for it.
I am going to spend the day with my sister, so hopefully this will keep my mind off of other things. I think it's going to be the nights that are going to be the pits. Thank you all for your support and advice through the night. Think I might have gone nuts If it hadn't been for you all.
Lou www.mumsnet.com/te/thanks.png

OP posts:

Loobyloo1902 · 27/12/2011 10:37

Hey Lou, sorry to hear that the official support network is letting you down; do keep posting here if you need a bit of hand holding through tonight. And keep yer legs crossed til the midwife is back on duty

skybluepearl · 27/12/2011 10:56

Part of the problem is pre-natal depression. Request some CBT therapy for pre/post natal depression. It can be done over the phone, 1 to 1 and in small groups. What ever suits. It has really helped me and has changed the way I think .

Original poster

Louboo2245 · 28/12/2011 02:38

So here I am again, sat awake in bed going through every scenario possible in my head.
I have had a reasonable day at my sisters, she has been very supportive and even arranged for my mum to come around today as she cannot be around herself. She sympathises and says it will pass after going through depression herself, but she says to give it time as well as it could be the drugs I'm coming off of as well, which makes sense.
What don't understand is why I stayed awake all day and still I am awake now! I have thrown up a bit, but nothing of any consequence, I can't get comfortable temperature wise, I'm either too hot or too cold and I worry about waking Dh up as he has to go to work and it is not fair on him.
I realise that most of this is normal at my stage of pregnancy, but it is slowly killing me and I worry I am not going to be able to cope once out new arrival decides to arrive!
I hope my midwife rings me early as I don't think I can carry on much longer!

OP posts:

PishWife · 28/12/2011 02:46

Louboo2245, this last bit of pregnancy can be filled with anxiety and worries about what will happen next, especially when you have been in & out of hospital. Just keep reminding yourself that you are okay now. I had a spell of going in & out of hosp just before DC2 was born (liver trouble), but was home for 38 weeks - 40 weeks with just a couple of visits to the antenatal ward for tests. It was really hard to settle to anything.

I used to "check in" with myself every hour to see how I was feeling, and try to take my mind off things for the rest of the hour with an easy book or silly DVD. Hang in there...

PishWife · 28/12/2011 02:48

...also tramadol is a bugger to withdraw from, I have done it 3 times for 3 different surgeries and always felt crap, jittery and weird.

spiderslegs · 28/12/2011 03:00

You will be fine - all the drugs you have been given were only for a short time - there will be no withdrawal.

Panic not.

Really.

spiderslegs · 28/12/2011 03:03

& you will be fine.

Really.

We all are.

alittlebitcountry · 28/12/2011 03:07

Hi Lou, I don't have any useful tips on the withdrawal but don't worry about bothering your gp - they're a service and there to help at times like this. (as my gp once pointed out to me quite firmly as I sat in her office in tears). Maybe its worth going in person tomorrow if you can they may get you a cancellation slot.
You're not alone on a sleepless night - I should be making the most of the chance to sleep as DD has been teething all week (thanks for that Santa) but now I have this stupid cold and can't breathe.
Hang in there, its past 3am so you're over the hump of the night - have you tried the world service I always find it makes me feel less lonely......oops there goes dd again

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