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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petrified, and don't know where to turn.

55 replies

Louboo2245 · 27/12/2011 03:45

I am currently at 38 weeks pregnant with my second child (M is 7) and about 6 weeks ago was diagnosed with Gall stones.
In order to curb the pain and attacks I adjusted my diet etc, unfortunately the week before Christmas I has a major attack and had to go into hospital where I had a endoscopic procedure for pancreatictitis.
During this time my family were fantastic and looked after M for me, and I was released just in time for Christmas.
While I was in hospital I was given a mixture of morphine, tramadol, cyclodine and other pain killing drugs, During this time I was monitored closely and baby is fine.
Though I seem to have been released from hospital with no further information or support and now am going through what seems the most horrific withdrawal symptoms as well as anxiety attacks and depression about having another child.
I am scared of being left on my own, sleeping at night as well as being restless and sick as well.
If anyone has insights in what I should do I would love to hear them. I'm so scared of myself it is untrue. What I would really like is to go back into hospital so I know that I am in the right place, but I know hat this isn't an option. Please Help x

OP posts:
alittlebitcountry · 28/12/2011 03:26

...And she went straight back to sleep.

Sorry that last post is a bit hard to read, with this phone it takes 3 tries just to post, readable is beyond it.

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 28/12/2011 03:41

Would just love to sleep. While I was in hospital it seemed no problem, but now I'm out I just can't seem to manage it!
Sorry to hear you're being kept awake by teething, it's the pits. Make sure you get lots of rest and fluids when you can so you can shift that cold though!
Not sure what to do to help me relax. Have scoured the internet for answers but can't find one. I've read, played games listened to audio books, but nothing seems to help. I'm reluctant to get out of bed as I don't want to fall asleep on the sofa, I like my bed too much!

OP posts:
Animation · 28/12/2011 03:55

Have you looked at the option of having a caesarian section. If it's not been suggested to you you could still request (elect) to have one.

Don't be afaid to ask for it if you think that might suit you better. Xmas Smile

BallerinaBetty · 28/12/2011 03:59

Just found this thread and wanted to say how much I sympathise - I had my gallbladder out 3years ago and can totally understand how poorly you must have been feeling. Although I can only begin to imagine what it must be like at 38 weeks pregnant.

I think you do need to try and get to the doctors and tell them what you have said on here. Your midwife should also be offering more support.

With regard to your feelings about having another baby - dont worry its normal. My eldest was nearly 8 when my dd was born - he loves her to bits. And being that bit older meant he could help with the baby and felt really responsible. It will be fine dont worry.

I dont know what to suggest about relaxing. I know it wont be any consolation to you but I havent been to bed yet cos dh is snoring so much I know I wont sleep and I've got the TV on cos - I kid you not - I can still hear him when I'm downstairs!!!!

alittlebitcountry · 28/12/2011 04:12

Thanks, she's generally been a good sleeper so I've kind of been spoilt for the last few months.
Just to add - although DD is our first and so far only, I have friends with similar age gaps that work pretty well. They have their own fun challenges of course, but at 7 are a lot more independant in terms of dressing, eating etc. And they can hold a conversation (however random) when you need a break from baby-talk.

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 28/12/2011 07:59

While I was in hospital I discussed the option briefly of have having a C section with my consultant, who looked at me like I was mad, and I was convinced to hold on until my due date to discuss the matter again as baby is happy where she is and managed to be throughout my procedures. The thought of being in hospital and Leaving M with family for much longer didn't seem fair on him either, but I think I will bring it up with my midwife again today.

I did manage to drift back off to sleep last night at about 4, but have since woken up every hour since. Hoping midwife will call earlier rather than later.

I know large age gaps can work, as there are 10 years between my sister and myself and we get on really well, just have to give it time. After all when my mum told her she was pregnant with me she said 'can't we have a dog instead!' She since has changed her mind!

OP posts:
Animation · 28/12/2011 08:52

I think you're a good candidate for a C section after all your recent medical problems and huge stress. Don't let the consultant's reaction put you off if you think that's what you want. You've a right to ask for it. If you decide that's what you want be firm about it.

You wouldn't be in hospital much longer - a couple of days more that's all.

You're the one having the baby - so your needs come first - and your family will know that.

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 01/01/2012 02:39

Well ladies after ringing around yet again I found myself back in A and E and spent another night in Pinderfields (I'm starting to really like the place!) with severe dehydration.
After doing all the tests etc they let me home, and I am booked in for a C section on Tuesday.
Can't tell you all what a huge relief this has come to me and has seemed to have settled my nerves. I've told M who seems more at home knowing I'm going in, going to be there a few days and at the end of it he will be a big brother, it also means I'm spoiling him rotten at the minute.
For those of you who are going into Pinders, but haven't been able to go and look around the maternity suite it is nice (couldn't get myself onto labour ward though) and the staff are fantastic!
Thank you guys for all the support you have given me over the past fortnight, I would have gone nuts without having someone to talk to. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Lou xx

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 01/01/2012 09:57

\morning Lou, glad you have some resolution x Hope it goes smoothly on Tuesday and you recover well

maddening · 01/01/2012 11:51

Could be a big whoosh of hormones if your body is getting ready.

Speak to your mw definitely

maddening · 01/01/2012 11:53

Sorry should have read on.

Good luck with csection

Groovee · 01/01/2012 12:10

Good luck with everything. I had my gall bladder out last year after 18 months of hell with gall stones which led to gall bladder inflamation. It's a relief it's all over now.

PiggyMad · 01/01/2012 12:12

Good luck for Tuesday and glad you feel things are being resolved. I'm thinking of the Midwife-led unit at Pinderfields so am glad to hear it is nice!

Animation · 01/01/2012 12:23

"I am booked in for a C section on Tuesday."

Ooh good job Louboo!! Xmas Smile

BallerinaBetty · 01/01/2012 13:05

Good luck with Tuesday, hope it all goes well.

(ask 'em to whip your gallbladder out whilst they're at it too!!!)

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 02/01/2012 17:44

I'm back looking for more advice.
I'm going into hospital for my c section tomorrow, the only fly in the ointment is that M has come down poorly. Thankfully it's nothing serious and regular calpol doses seem to be keeping symptoms at bay.
Now he is supposed to be going to my sisters tomorrow morning (she has 1b and 2g of her own who are all roughly the same age as M, and fosters 2 more who are under 3. I know she's mad) I'm worried I'll be putting a bit too much upon her as she is on her own tomorrow as her DH is back at work. M really wants to go as he hasn't seen his cousins for the last week and he is really close to them.
The alternative is that I phone my mum and ask her to look after M while my Dh is at the hospital with me.
I feel bad for leaving him while he's poorly. Any advice is more than welcome.

OP posts:
EuphemiaAtHogmanay · 02/01/2012 17:55

Let your family get on with it, and concentrate on yourself. Family don't mind going the extra mile to help out at times like this - they really don't!

All the best for tomorrow. It must feel good to finally know what's happening. Smile

CailinDana · 02/01/2012 17:55

I'd say go for the C section, it's more urgent than your little boy's illness. You've had a very rough time of it and you'll feel miles better once the baby is born. DH only has to be in the hospital with you for a few hours and then he can head home to M for a while. M sounds like a lovely boy who won't be much trouble.

Good luck!

ballstoit · 02/01/2012 17:56

I'd ring your sister and ask her. My guess is that your DS will perk up when he's with cousins and that your sister will be fine but I think you'll be reassured when you've checked with her.

Don't feel bad about leaving him, he'll have a lovely time and you need to make sure you're okay for his sake too.

Good luck for tomorrow. Will look forward to you updating that your beautiful DD has arrived when you get the chance xx

PishWife · 02/01/2012 17:57

Yeah, I think perhaps stick with plan A. Being involved in a birth is an honour to anyone with more than one brain cell!

Good luck, I bet you can't wait to meet your baby!

pickgo · 02/01/2012 18:01

Could he go to your sister's with the option that your mum gets him if it all gets a bit much for him or your sister?

Good luck for tomorrow.

Animation · 02/01/2012 18:03

I think M is a very sensitive kid and receptive to your anxieties. Let M know that you are fine and dandy and well in control for tomorrow.

It's all going to be great!!! Xmas Grin

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 02/01/2012 19:00

Thankyou again ladies for putting my mind at rest.
M is happy with the arrangements and just hoping everything goes to plan tomorrow, have to be on labour ward for 8:30 tomorrow morning. Not sure how I feel about it, but I'll be pleased when it's all done!

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PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 02/01/2012 19:13

Good Luck Lou, come back and tell us all about your new addition once you feel up to it afterwards Grin

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 06/01/2012 01:29

We're Home!
So glad I had the elective section, it wasn't pretty, and I had a panic attack during, but it was so very worth it.
Miss E is born at 7lbs 15oz and is now keeping us on our toes, hence being being up at silly o'clock again.
A lot of my woes have left me, trying to keep on top of the pain is the worst of it now, but I think given my history I have enough experience and drugs to deal with it Wink.
We (meaning I really) have decided to bottle feed due to the potential drugs I may have to take in the future, which in some ways makes me feel the the worst mother in the world, but I know in the long run it will the best option for us both, and surprisingly I didn't find the midwives judgmental about this, or about me giving E a dummy!
Felt a bit looked over while I was in hospital as for the first 24 hours no one came to see me (I mean professional wise, I couldn't keep relatives away) not a midwife, not a consultant, no one. Did anyone else experience this? or am I being over sensitive? I mean we were both ok, but still it would have been nice to know that we had been remembered.
Anyway I am done prattling on. Thank you once again ladies, you were all lifesavers!

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