to have a labioplasty?

[whyamilikethis]

I have obviously namechanged for this.

Since having my dd I feel that my labia minora is larger than it used to be and rather unsightly. Is this normal? Before giving birth it never bothered me so much, but I did have one boyfriend comment on how 'flappy' I was. Now I am feeling really unhappy about how I look down there. I feel that that it looks stretched out and too big. I actually feel disguested by it to the point that I have started thinking about surgery.

I suppose it might be a start to consult a doctor before asking a million strangers who can't see you and who have no idea if you're over-reacting to an insensitive comment from some flappy-gobbed dickwad or if you really do have a problem.

Tbh I think you are insane in the nicest possible way, it can cause a lot of loss of sensation and I would hate that...

I understand about not being happy with yourself but it is drastic, even as surgery goes. I don't want to patronise and say you should focus on your self confidence etc, but I would really think it through v v carefully.

Im not happy with mine, feels like its too big for the area and doesnt really fit.

I wouldn't go down the surgery route due to the fact its one of those areas I dont think should be messed with unless absolutely necessary.

Hope you get some good advice!

It's your body

See a consultant and weigh up all the pros and cons

I think there is a website somewhere that shows a variety of labia so that you can get an idea of what is 'normal.'

Would that help?

Perhaps somebody knows the link.

I'd never have unnecessary surgery. I hate my nose and a helluva lot more people get to look at that! But I have made my peace with it.

Surely by the time anyone gets a good look at your labia you are pretty sure they already fancy you? It seems an odd thing to be worried about.

They're not exactly the prettiest things in the world anyway. Someone once said something similar to me (he said, mid-coitus, and I fucking quote: "has anyone ever told you your vagina is weird?")

Considering I've never had any other comments, I'll just assume that he had limited experience of vulvas and I would advise you to do the same.

Well, how far do you want to take it? IME they will only get longer as you get older I'm afraid, so are you going to keep going back for corrective surgery?

I would if I were you OP. If it makes you feel bad and doesn't look like 'you' any more then I don't see anything wrong with getting it corrected.

I have a fear of anything being stretched or changed down there so I am having a caesarean. I would just be devastated if I was left with things hanging down. I don't think that's unreasonable.

It's completely your choice. I would just make sure to find the very best surgeon and research it really well.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself. Uneven and 'flappy' labia minora are completely normal - I don't know how many you've seen in your life (I mean real ones, not porn ones) but honestly, they are completely normal and very common. They are only objectively problematic if they get so long that they are uncomfortable or getting in the way - which I don't think is your problem?

However, it's undeniable that there is a new aesthetic which dictates that labia should be very small, even invisible. People who have seen a lot of porn often imagine that this is what vulvas 'should' look like, which may explain your bf's comment.

I'm not going to say whether or not I think you should do anything about it. Generally I'm appalled at how many women are getting their labia cut off - for the pain and expense they go through, and for how this trend shores up the new aesthetic and so makes life more difficult for other women. But if you're deeply unhappy with it, it may be worth seeing a counsellor before you go down the surgery route?

Oh and when I say in my experience I mean personal and professional btw

It will not cause loss of sensation. It is totally reasonable to want this procedure if it is erroding your confidence. No different than any other cosmetic procedure. It is very personal.

I suggest you talk to a reputable consultant before you get totally judged on this thread.

To be honest, even if it was the longest, flabbiest vagina i wouldn't do it. The money would be better spent on building your confidence, after all the only people who should see that ''area'' are people who respect you, and wouldnt take the mick/judge ect anyway!

Saying that, as soon as i leave uni I AM HAVING A BOOB JOB AND I WILL SHOULD IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!

I hope the boyfriend who made that comment is now an ex? What a dick. Hope you responded by telling him he had an unusual size/shape penis.

It's completely normal for the skin in this area to be less tight than it was when you were younger, I've had the same happen to me (not following a birth, it's just happened as I've got older, along with dozens of other major and minor changes to my body), and I confess I had similar concerns as you for a while until I realised it was perfectly normal for my body to be changing with time. So don't worry about it :) x

hester, even porn labia are pretty "flappy" a lot of the time. I've seen a lot of porn, that's how I know I look totally normal.

champagne

The money would be better spent building her confidence and yet you're going to have a boob job and shout it from the rooftops?

Pot, kettle?

DumplingBuns I'm not sure that having a c/s will prevent you from droopy labia I'm afraid.

I would strongly suggest some counselling before making a decision about surgery.

Why not spend the cash on a nice holiday instead? Seriously.

Have you had all the children you think you will have?

I don't think it's a great procedure to have if you are contemplating more children in the next few years. And the potential loss of sensation would put me right off.

And one think to get cleared out of the way before intervention is why that ex so important that you are considering surgery based on his (one?) comment?

If the only bit of your body that worries you is your labia then you are doing just fine

I'd be more worried about the potential c section scar, as its potentially more visible in bikinis etc,mines is nearly invisible but I've seen some nasty ones :-S

I've just had surgery on my labia following the birth of my DS (big tear!). I guess I did it for the sake of vanity as I could have left it.

However, the surgery took 20 minutes, it wasn't at all painful afterwards and I am so much happier with myself now. Only problem is one side looks amazing and the other side is quite long and flappy! I am definitely considering getting the other side shortened and evened out!

I would say op, do your research on the surgery, don't worry what men think and only have surgery if you are doing it for yourself. But in my experience, it was worth getting it done!

I'd say YABU. I haven't had children yet and mine hangs down a little bit. We all vary and there is a huge margin for waht is normal. I've never had any remarks or complaints about it and it never affected my sex life. Tight jeans would be the only thing I could think of that would cause problesm but I don't wear them anyway.

But as others have said it's your body and if you have thousands to spend on a purely cosmetic procedure, then go ahead. Just be aware, you risk post op infections and an outcome that may not be to your liking either. I am a PI /Med Neg solicitor and I have dealt with several cases where they botched it and the woman wished she had never had it done, loss of sensation, etc.