Christmas day alone with kids every year, so peed off!

[jada33]

I have been with my partner for 5yrs now we have 3 children and Im pregnant with our 4th, he has a 25yr old son from a previous relationship and every yr on Christmas day its the same thing he leaves our home at 9.30am to go and spend the morning with his son they go to the pub for a few drinks and he comes home for his dinner then goes to bed while I struggle with the kids and everything else, he also brings a friend home every yr for dinner as well. When he wakes he gets himself ready and goes out again, the children and me only gets to see him for around 2 hours every christmas day. I normally never say anything but Im so annoyed about it and hurt for my children. He says he hates christmas as his Mum passed away 3days before christmas 20yrs ago. Am I being selfish and unresonable for asking him to spend Christmas day with us his family?

I'd have been a bit nastier, I'd wait for him to go out to the pub on Christmas morning, then take the kids to a friends, sisters, brothers etc. and let him come home to an empty house and no Christmas dinner, then see if he'd do it again next year.

If he gives you no consideration why should you give him any?

I basically think he just wants to go to the pub.

He wants to opt out of family responsibilities. He takes his son with him, and that's his excuse...and then he brings a drinking buddie home with him. Would he see his son on Christmas Day if he wasn't old enough to go to the pub with him?

He is WAY out of order when you have 3 small ones and another on the way - but you must know that.

Of course he should see his son on xmas day- I get that.
But why does he need to spend the rest of teh day in bed/the pub?

And why see his DS at the pub?

Goodness, if he doesn't start making more of a contribution to his childrens' happiness on Christmas day, he's likely to have huge regrets about that in later life - adding to the emotional pain about his mother's death.

I think confrontation is the loving thing to do here, for everyone's sake.

Assuming his son knows he could come to yours for Christmas day but choses not to, I don't think meeting him In the pub for a few hours is that bad. Ditto bringing a friend for lunch, not ideal but not the end of the world,, but there is no fucking way I would allow my DH to slope off to bed/the pub and leave me at home the rest of the day pregnant looking after 3 young children. You need to be having serious words followed by some very definite action. Don't allow your husband to treat you like this any longer if not for your benefit then you children.