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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told my brother he can't come to see us and and the rest of the family on christmas day

38 replies

notquitenormal · 24/12/2011 19:51

I'm doing dinner for 11 tomorrow. Us three, my sisters, their dps, my nephews, step dad and bil. My brother is having dinner with his girlfriend's family.

My brother just phoned to see when we were picking him up to visit.

His girlfriend had a baby YESTERDAY! They only brought him home today. I know he wants to show the baby off...but FFS!

I'd love to see him...but who wants to sit with 11 of the in-laws two days after giving birth?

I told him no...now I feel like a right cow.

OP posts:
Appuskidu · 24/12/2011 19:53

'Pick him up!?' -is he 12??

ConnorCamden · 24/12/2011 19:53

If he wants to, and his gf is up to it, then why not.

My cousin went out to a meal with her parents, siblings, inlaws etc 2 days after her second baby was born.

Shakirasma · 24/12/2011 19:54

YANBU his GF should be resting and his place is by her side helping her.

ImperialBlether · 24/12/2011 19:54

I don't get it - they are going to her family for Christmas lunch but he wants you to pick him up?

And I think the mother should have the final say on what she does - poor woman will probably want to be home without too many guests.

pigletmania · 24/12/2011 19:54

I would but say that he has to make his own way there.

Original poster
notquitenormal · 24/12/2011 19:55

Acts like it. Dh and I are the only drivers in the whole family...we get it all lot.

OP posts:
Gottalovecosta · 24/12/2011 19:55

Isn't it her choice what she decides to do? If she wants to show baby off and be fussed over by family, why not?

MerylStrop · 24/12/2011 19:55

If the new mother is up to it, why on earth not?

Ismeyes · 24/12/2011 19:56

I don't think it is up to you to make that call. If he and his GF are big enough to make a baby, I'd suggest they are big enough to make their own decision and sort this out for themselves.

Original poster
notquitenormal · 24/12/2011 19:57

Apparantly she's up for it. I dunno, she's nice but very quiet...I've never really heard her speak.

OP posts:
fivegomadindorset · 24/12/2011 19:57

Because OP has to pick them up and bring them bakc to her house? Maybe she doesn'tw ant to do that.

BastedTurkey · 24/12/2011 19:57

I'd tell him that you would love to see them if his DP is up to it, but as you do not drink and drive he may want to book a cab

fivegomadindorset · 24/12/2011 19:57

It is her call if she has to drive.

Apricots · 24/12/2011 19:58

I took my little girl to a christening when she was 3 days old - I felt absolutely fine an wanted to show her off. Once I got there I realised I didn't actually like the idea of ao many people breathing over her (pfb) do left after an hour - if she is happy to come over and you are happy to pick then up then I don't see the problem?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/12/2011 19:59

Everyone's different.

I was waddling up town sighing 12 hours of giving birth, I'm not one for staying indoors. I did remain 'flange intact ' tho so s'posed that may alter things.

Deafworm · 24/12/2011 19:59

I'm going to a wedding in August at 40+10 with dc 4 the only thing that will stop me attending is if I'm in labour, going to sit in a family members house 2 days after the birth is hardly strenuous if she wants to come

RosemaryandThyme · 24/12/2011 20:00

I'm reading this differently - it's that you've got a house-full and don't want to troop off to give Bro a lift to GF parents' - YANBU - he needs to phone GF parents if stuck for a lift not expect his sis to forgo having a drink or enjoying her own family time.

BluddyMoFo · 24/12/2011 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ismeyes · 24/12/2011 20:01

Obviously its her call whether to drive or not, but not to decide on their behalf that they should be staying at home/parents because they have just had a baby. The driving is a separate matter.

griphook · 24/12/2011 20:01

yanbu to not want to drive and pick someone up (only driver on one side of my family and that seeems to equal cabbie) don't forget you'll have the return journey as well. If it was me, i'd say your more than welcome what time do you think your cab will be here.

itsstartingtofeelalotlikexmas · 24/12/2011 20:02

If they want to come tell them to get a taxi

I wouldn't be cooking for that many & ferrying people around

BettyBedlam · 24/12/2011 20:02

'she's nice but very quiet...I've never really heard her speak.' Hmmm., bit more to it is there OP? Confused.

RandomMess · 24/12/2011 20:03

If I was catering for 11 at my house for the day, however much I wanted to meet the baby etc I wouldn't want to have to pop out twice to collect and drop back and not have a drop to drink in the meantime.

Have the not heard that mini cabs do work on Christmas Day...

itsstartingtofeelalotlikexmas · 24/12/2011 20:04

BluddyMoFo Sat 24-Dec-11 20:00:35
When I had my first kid I was up and about and taking him to show off to anyone I could think of. Dont you and the family WANT to meet the baby? Seems especially harsh if she wants to bring it to meet you too?

She's not bringing it though, she wants op to go to her house and bring them all
And that's an extra two I guess op hasn't taken into account for Xmas dinner?

deardear · 24/12/2011 20:05

Personally I would say come but after dinner and he will have to make his own way there and back. That way you won't have extra unexpected guests fir dinner and shouldn't think she would want to stay for too long anyway.

I went food shopping on the way home from having DD2. She was 6 hours old.