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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to midnight mass although I'm an atheist?

54 replies

teacoupons · 23/12/2011 22:25

My best friend is lodging with us and has asked me to go with her to midnight mass tomorrow. She's a Catholic but not a practising, she goes to uphold the traditions her family brought her up with.

People have told me IAVU for saying yes and I'm disrespecting myself. My grandparents are Catholic and I went to a Catholic school but because I don't believe in God I should be ashamed of myself.

AIBU to tell them to mind their own business and go and support my friend?

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 23/12/2011 22:25

Your life, your choice

theincredibequeenofwands · 23/12/2011 22:26

Nah, church is for everyone.

I don't believe but have always thought that churches at Christmas are a lovely place to be.

ThatsJustHowITroll · 23/12/2011 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

ClutchingAtMyPearls · 23/12/2011 22:27

If you're an atheist this shouldn't even be a question for you. Obviously you are free to do as you please but if you do go maybe you should ask yourself why?

CuriosityCola · 23/12/2011 22:28

It's only disrespecting yourself if you don't want to go. As long as you don't take communion it's not disrespecting the church either. Some people really over think things Xmas Confused

WorraLiberty · 23/12/2011 22:30

Exactly what Curiosity said

I'd be more worried about disrespecting the Church you're visiting, not yourself.

But as long as you don't take communion it's fine.

Go and enjoy it. Midnight Mass always made me feel Christmassy Xmas Smile

IneedAChristmasNickname · 23/12/2011 22:38

YANBU! Like Curiosity said, just don't take communion (although I don't think they do communion at Midnight Mass) and if you feel uncomfortable, don't join in the prayers. Xmas Smile

EdithWeston · 23/12/2011 22:39

I cannot see a problem with going. It's not remotely disrespectful (unless you're planning to disrupt the service - one church round here had to abandon its Midnight Mass because of drunks - and I take it you wouldn't).

You don't have to be an adherent to a faith to be uplifted by an occasional attendance. And your friend obviously can't see a problem, or she wouldn't have suggested it, and she'll appreciate it.

aldiwhore · 23/12/2011 22:41

Go. Its nice. Even if you're an unbeliever, you won't be unwelcome.

I know as I go every year, simply because its 'nice'.

None of my Christian friends have ever said I shouldn't.

So long as you don't stand up and shout 'God doesn't exist you morons' then there is no issue. If you're not comfortable preying, just sit quietly. Midnight mass is truly lovely.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 23/12/2011 22:45

If you want to go then go.

himynameisfred · 23/12/2011 22:47

Your 'catholic' friend, is likely just as atheist as you are.

WorraLiberty · 23/12/2011 22:48

And put a bit of money in the collection box as a thank you

Everyone's a winner then.

DeePanCrisPandEeeven · 23/12/2011 22:50

Church doors are for everyone to walk through, as they deem fit.

and yes a midnight service can be a v. special experience, imo.

aquashiv · 23/12/2011 22:53

Why would you be disrespecting yourself? What an odd thing to think. Even if you dont believe in anything. Christmas is a Christian festival so by going to church you are observing that, believer or not.

PoppaDumDongMerrilyonHigh · 23/12/2011 22:59

"God is for life, not just for Christmas"

is what i (well the v drunk congregation) was told one year. we were not quite sure how take it!

i wouldn't worry about it, just go and feel the love!

WorraLiberty · 23/12/2011 23:02

Poppa are you sure someone didn't switch the letters round on the sign? Xmas Grin

cheesesarnie · 23/12/2011 23:04

go if you want to go
dont label yourself.im a non believer but open to ideas and love religion although ive not found one for me

aquashiv · 23/12/2011 23:04

Grin perhaps the priest had drink taken.

PoppaDumDongMerrilyonHigh · 23/12/2011 23:09

no worra the minister really said that and he really meant it.

we sat there in stunned silence. then tried not to laugh. it was real Presbyterian fire and brimstone stuff.....!

KikkiK · 23/12/2011 23:17

I was going to come on here and post exactly the same thing, OP!
I am going to a service tomorrow night with two Christian friends. I do feel a bit uncomfortable as I don't think they know I don't believe. I am going because I want to see my friends and I think it will be nice to be among the congregation, hear the carols and so on.
So no, YANBU.

MosEisley · 23/12/2011 23:18

YANBU. As long as you behave, of course you can go and enjoy the service.

1944girl · 23/12/2011 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LondonMumsie · 23/12/2011 23:22

YANBU

GrimmaTheNome · 23/12/2011 23:22

if you do go maybe you should ask yourself why?

uh, as the OP said, to 'support my friend'. Good enough, surely?

As there's no god, its up to people to be good to each other. So an atheist should follow the golden rule or something that bit better: 'do unto others what they'd like doing unto them' Smile. By accommodating her friend's wishes, the OP is being a good humanist.

If you're not comfortable preying, just sit quietly.
Preying?Shock Goodness, reports of militant atheism are clearly way out of hand! Grin

FizzyChristmasFairyDust · 23/12/2011 23:24

Go, and enjoy it. God will welcome you regardless of your own beliefs. Nothing at all unreasonable about it, the more the merrier :)

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