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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to midnight mass although I'm an atheist?

54 replies

teacoupons · 23/12/2011 22:25

My best friend is lodging with us and has asked me to go with her to midnight mass tomorrow. She's a Catholic but not a practising, she goes to uphold the traditions her family brought her up with.

People have told me IAVU for saying yes and I'm disrespecting myself. My grandparents are Catholic and I went to a Catholic school but because I don't believe in God I should be ashamed of myself.

AIBU to tell them to mind their own business and go and support my friend?

OP posts:
MillyR · 23/12/2011 23:25

I don't see an issue with it. If you enjoy going to the service, there's no reason not to go.

FizzyChristmasFairyDust · 23/12/2011 23:25

Just remember not to try your own reproduction of Rev this week...... Xmas Grin

LRDtheFeministDragon · 23/12/2011 23:28

Go, and enjoy it! Lots of people go to midnight mass who're not regular churchgoers, I think - same with carol services. As long as you are respectful (and obviously you will be), what is the problem?

I think it's one thing if you're taking advantage of something the church is offering in good faith (eg. I have to say I hated it a while ago when some people came to our church and disrupted the service by chatting rudely though it about their child's christening which was to occur towards the end - they made it really hard for anyone else to concentrate). But if you go to mass because you love your friend, that is completely in keeping with what Christianity is about, and if you don't participate and don't pretend to believe, it is completely in keeping with your atheism too, so you are disrespecting no-one.

BliggOfTheDump · 23/12/2011 23:28

I am an Atheist, but churches are so lovely. I have been to services as an adult and find them interesting. I like to go to church around Christmas but mainly to wander round.

kiki22 · 23/12/2011 23:29

Everyone is welcome to mass

Original poster
teacoupons · 24/12/2011 00:04

Thank you, everyone. I feel much better about going now. I think churches are lovely places and I don't think twice about going when my daughter is in her nursery play held there or carol service with the nursery class. I'd love to be a believer and I have a lot of respect for all faiths so it's not that I'm against faith. I think some people think people of no faith are against faith.

OP posts:
Original poster
teacoupons · 24/12/2011 00:05

Wow, I typed a lot of the word 'faith' there.

I'm tired but I'm sure you can weed out the meaning in my post.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/12/2011 00:05
Grin

Hope you have a good time.

EdithWeston · 24/12/2011 00:08

Have a read of this too - from the BBC website: The Joy of Christmas Carols.

DarklyDexterish · 24/12/2011 00:14

I'm atheist but went to my grandmothers Catholic funeral this year - it didn't kill me

I think if you are tolerant of all religions you should attend services which oppose or are different to your own if you are invited to do so

PandorasSocks · 24/12/2011 01:04

I think it's lovely that you want to do something like this for your friend.

Go and enjoy Smile

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 24/12/2011 01:10

Some people are just barking - go and enjoy the time in a peaceful place, the carols and your friends company - ignore weird 'people'.

startail · 24/12/2011 01:22

I went last year, I've always wanted to, but normally have non church going visitors.
They were snowed in. It was -12 and beautiful.
Yes I sometimes go to church because DH believes and I want the DDs to have a choice, but Midnight was just to feel part of an ancient tradition and for a moment of quiet in the noise of Christmas.

midlandsmumof4 · 24/12/2011 03:47

Do you attend christenings, weddings & funerals in church.......what's the difference? I'm an aethiest and although I feel uncomfortable on such occasions I go anyway although I'll probably burn in hell......Go and enjoy.

noblegiraffe · 24/12/2011 08:21

I'm going with my mum. Looking forward to a good carol.

sitandnatter · 24/12/2011 08:25

It's a lovely thing to do, would your critics prefer you were sh*tfaced and puking up in the town centres.

Bringing back memories of standing back near the font at the back of the church as a teen and a drunk church goer farted, I just got the giggles and couldn't stop so was asked to leave.

Now that was disrespectful, but I just couldn't help myself, someone farting during a minutes silence just ticked my very naughty funny bones.

Rollersara · 24/12/2011 08:28

Me, my OH and my mum all went to a candlelit carol service this year. My mum isn't sure of her faith and we're both atheist but it's really pretty and we like the songs.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 24/12/2011 08:54

I have, um, a sketchy belief system. But I find the ritual of church very comforting at times and so go reasonably regularly. I'd say all are welcome but I do get a bit Hmm at the people rolling up pissed once a year, talking/giggling . I think that's really disrespectful.

But just going for the Christmassy love or with a friend - of course that's fine.

mrsjay · 24/12/2011 08:59

I dont think you are being U to go to church with your friend , i think its a lovely thing to do , church wont fall down round about you if you go , dont prey if you dont want to enjoy the mass with your friend , I dont believe but either but ive been to a few midnight services over the years .

pixielicious · 24/12/2011 13:05

YANBU. I'm as atheist as they come, but it doesn't stop me singing in a Church Choir every week, also accompanied by people from a whole variety of faiths. I probably attend Church more than a lot of Christians! Grin

madangelhairday · 24/12/2011 13:51

YANBU. Hope you enjoy it and find it a good experience Xmas Smile

TalkinPeace2 · 24/12/2011 13:55

as one atheist to another
take a hip flask
enjoy the songs as poetry
admire the architecture during the prayers
and enjoy the fact that your friend is pleased to have you there

hackmum · 24/12/2011 14:01

I think the vicars and priests like it if a lot of people turn up for a church service. After all, it's their chance to demonstrate the church's USP, and if they do it well enough, there's always the possibility you'll go back. Places of worship are supposed to be inclusive, aren't they? A friend's daughter had her bat mitzvah recently and a lot (possibly most) of those who were invited weren't Jewish.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 24/12/2011 14:04

I am an atheist and I would love to go (not really an option due to location/transport). I went in my teens when I was in a small church choir and it was amazing.

I often wish I was Christian. I find amazing peace and spirituality in churches and Christian art but my brain just will not accept the idea of a God. I had many battles with myself over this, particularly in my teens (I'm 25 now).

I asked a friend if her church (hypothetically as they live too far) would object to non-Christians going to Sunday school for example, she said anyone would be welcome as tolerance is an important part of the faith :)

Haziedoll · 24/12/2011 14:06

You are going to accompany a friend so your lack of religion is irrelevant. I actually saw Simply Red in concert because my friend wanted me to go with her. I've always thought Mick Hucknall is talentless.