Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To visit hit and run child's family to see if he's ok

33 replies

bucketbetty · 23/12/2011 20:15

I witnessed a hit and run today. I spent some time with the young boy on the road and know where he lives. I really want to make sure he's ok but don't know if it's the right thing to do. What do you think?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 23/12/2011 20:17

No harm in knocking and asking

Mind you, it's a bit late so you'd better get a move on

Hope he's ok

edam · 23/12/2011 20:17

Perhaps you could put a note through the door, saying you are thinking of them and hope he's OK?

sitandnatter · 23/12/2011 20:17

Too late until tomorrow, but do go tomorrow I am sure the family would appreciate it.

timetosmile · 23/12/2011 20:18

Did you make yourself known to the police/paramedics as a witness at the time?
I think there's no harm in putting a note through the door or popping in, it';s a lovely gesture.
Hope he's OK x

troisgarcons · 23/12/2011 20:18

Put a card through the door with your contact details, asking if he's ok.

People can react in a quite peculiar manner - last thing you need is an angry (not at you) parent interrogating you as to the driver, the car, the reg details what you saw etc.

Plus, you might think he's "ok" but he very well may not be and your presence maybe deemed intrusive.

Hulababy · 23/12/2011 20:19

Why not pop round tomorrow with a Christmas card and maybe a little present (something small like chocolate perhaps) and ask after him.

Noone could be offended at you asking over their child.

Gapants · 23/12/2011 20:22

I think a card through the door would be best too. They might be over run with family and it is a stressful time of year as it is. I think troisgarcons has it right.

Poor you, are you OK?

Meow75isknittinglikemad · 23/12/2011 20:23

I also think it's a bit late in the day now, but tomorrow would be perfect. As Hula said, perhaps a Chrimble card and a box of chocs or a colouring book in case he's been told to rest.

Original poster

bucketbetty · 23/12/2011 20:23

I was thinking about going tomorrow. Just knocking on the door to ask if he was ok. I didn't actually see him hit but was first on the scene following the hit. Poor little soul was in the road. I can't get him out of my head. He was in shock and had clearly had some damage to his little legs. I cuddled him until the paramedics came and tried to soothe him but there were lots of other people there, he was very very distressed and I couldn't really understand what he was saying but tried to find his parents house based on what I could understand. When I got back I felt I should leave because there were too many people standing round him. It was very distressing. I just want to make sure he's ok. I didn't wait for the police because I didn't actually see the hit, there were a couple of others there who did see it. I hope I did the right thing leaving before the police got there. I can always give them a ring tomorrow too.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 23/12/2011 20:26

I would make contact with them tomorrow. It will probably do you all good to make contact with each other.

fannybanjo · 23/12/2011 20:27

What a horrific thing to happen. Bastard driver. Yes, pop a card through door tomorrow however I'd be less inclined to knock, they'll probably be inundated with visitors.

Bohica · 23/12/2011 20:28

Firstly, are you ok?

It must have been an awful thing to witness and deal with, was he conscious?

I think a card in the morning would be a very kind thing to do, I know I would like to speak with anyone that was with my child if they got hit by a car, even just to say thank you for stopping to help as so many people walk on by

BroomBuBuBum · 23/12/2011 20:28

That sounds awful. I imagine your still quite shook up yourself. I'd put a card through return door with your contact details. Im they'll be incredibly grateful that you sat with their DS. I know I would be.

Hulababy · 23/12/2011 20:28

In that case then, I would probably pop my contacts ont he card too incase they wanted you to speak to police or anything.

elliejjtiny · 23/12/2011 20:31

I think putting a card and choccies through the door would be lovely. If my child had been in that situation and a stranger had sat with him I think something like that would reassure me that the person who was with him was a really nice person and not just a random weirdo.

PishWife · 23/12/2011 20:32

I have some experience with RTCs and can confidently say that a card would be vastly appreciated, a visit probably won't be, particularly given the time of year. Families need to gather themselves and recover from the shock. I imagine the press will have been knocking at their door, too.

Send a lovely card saying that you are thinking of them all and maybe leave your phone number with an offer of help. It really will mean a lot to them, but it sounds as though he sustained some bad injuries and they need a bit of time to come back down to earth.

It is good of you to be so concerned and great that you were able to help at the scene. I hope you have someone you can talk it over with - you sound a little in shock yourself, which is entirely natural.

PishWife · 23/12/2011 20:35

Also, yes, do come forward to the police. As you were first on the scene you are a vital witness to the fact that he had been left by the driver.

LordOfTheFlies · 23/12/2011 20:38

Yes, I think take a little gift and knock.
You are not just a visitor you are the person who went out of their way to comfort an injured, scared little boy.

I'm sure they will be in a turmoil but they'll want to thank you personally.
I know I would.

lisad123 · 23/12/2011 20:38

What sort of horrible people hits a kids with a car and then leave
You did the right thing and I'm sure his parents will thank your concern.
Hope his ok

PishWife · 23/12/2011 20:40

I agree that they will definitely want to thank the OP personally, but it would be kindest to let them do it at a time of their choosing.

LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 23/12/2011 20:42

A card would be lovely. :) Hope you're OK. :)

Popsandpip · 23/12/2011 20:50

I think you did a really nice thing.

I was violently mugged on my doorstep a few years ago on a Friday night. A few passers-by helped me afterwards. On the Monday morning, my doorbell rang. When I opened the door it was to one of the ladies who had helped me. I didn't remember her but she explained that she had seen me bleeding on the Fri night and had been thinking of me all weekend and wanted to see how I was. She also brought me some flowers to cheer me up. I was sooooo touched by her actions.

A little bit of human kindness really helped mend the emotional hurt I was feeling from the bastard who punched me in the face, knocked out some teeth and stole my handbag mugger.

Your idea to pop by at a convenient time is lovely. If you get the vibe that you're intruding you could just drop off a card with your details while you're there. However, I think a positive human connection - especially at this time of year - will be welcomed. Good for you.

Original poster

bucketbetty · 23/12/2011 20:50

I'll go with a card through the door, I don't want to intrude and you just don't know what goes on following an incident like this. I feel really upset by it. He was around 12 or 13. I don't know if it was shock but I felt he might either have learning difficulties or autism, I could be wrong of course, but something just didn't sit right. He was so distressed it's hard to tell. He was sitting up, tearful and was very repetitive with his movements and what he was saying, I don't know much about shock at all but I felt something wasn't right. He appeared very young for his age. I checked in his bag to see if there were any identifiers and his name was written on his rucksack. I just hope he's ok. His little face and his fear of what had happened was very unsettling. Thank God my child is safe at home with me now. I just hope he's ok. I feel a bit tearful to be honest.

OP posts:

PishWife · 23/12/2011 20:57

Oh bucketbetty, you have done so well and a brush with violence is always so unsettling, nothing seems to make sense. Of course it could be anything, but yes, shock can completely mess up a person's speech and movement - temporarily. Repetition is common.

PishWife · 23/12/2011 20:58

By the way, I think calling round IS a lovely idea, but maybe in a few days' time. Card ASAP is great.

Flip

1 2