Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to try to stop my dd daughter watching Disney girly shlock classics for as long as I can?

89 replies

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 09:53

It's just a personal thing, no comment on what anyone else chooses to do. I just happen to think the Disney message about what it is to be female is lamentable.

I tend to think that the longer I can keep these messages away from her then maybe she'll have time to grow some self esteem that isn't tarnished with ideals of blonde perfection and being saved by a prince!
I expect to be given a hard time of course, but wonder whether there' anyone else out there who is trying to hold out for a bit against the evils of Disney shlock!

I do acknowledge that later Disneys have got better with their female role modelling.
Also my mother hated Disney so I have a strong inherited dislike of some of the more dodgy ones. I like the good ones like the jungle book etc.

OP posts:

imaginethat · 23/12/2011 09:56

How old is she?

My kids have no idea of the wealth of crap out there, they are only allowed dvds and as I do the buying they have a healthy viewing diet. So far.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 23/12/2011 09:59

Ha, good luck. My DD is nearly 4. I detest Disney with a passion, we have none of it in this house. She's never seen any of the films, we don't have the Disney channel etc. I was convinced I was doing really well, she had no idea about princesses etc...

Turns out that every day at pre-school her and her two little friends make a bee-line for dressing up corner where they fight over Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White costumes and totter around on the high heeled play shoes.

I've bought her a Beauty and the Beast dress that she coveted for Christmas.

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:00

She's 3.5 and the dvds are gifts. She's got Cinderalla unwatched.
She keeps finding it and bringing it to me and asking to watch it and I try to distract her and show her something else to do or watch.

OP posts:

MudAndGlitter · 23/12/2011 10:01

Lots of the princesses arent blonde. Princess and the frog gives out the message of working hard for what you want etc.

squeakytoy · 23/12/2011 10:01

My non-blonde granddaughter was thrilled to bits with the disney princesses book I got her last night. She loves Rapunzel.

There is nothing wrong with her self esteem. She is a very confident 6yo who is able to see fairy stories for exactly what they are, and enjoys them.

I also just watched a child on tv being given a present by Jeremy Kyle.. it was a disney princess doll in a box, and I actually thought as I watched her face light up, "I bet there are people on MNet tutting about the "message" it gives and pulling their best cats backside face".

That little girl had lost most of her limbs to meningitis, so I doubt her parents really gave a toss about the "evils of Disney" and were just happy that their child was alive and able to smile with joy at the sight of a doll.

To me, that puts all the overthinking about Disney into perspective.

MissPentChristmasBudget · 23/12/2011 10:01

It's entirely up to you, obviously. But presumably your DD won't grow up believing that jungle animals actually sing and dance after watching The Jungle Book, so why do you assume that she won't use similar common sense when viewing the more traditional fairy tale ones?

BandOMothers · 23/12/2011 10:02

Mine are 7 and 3 and have NEVER watched one or had the books...they have classic fairytales....they don't ask for the vids or toys either. They like Mickey and Minnie...the older one has moved onto Spongebob....

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:03

But Gwendoline, I think that dressing up is fine, the films are deeply powerful senders of cultural messages I think and are in whole different order of influence on the mind of the young lass.
I think it's the message about a certain kind of beauty as well which I hate, the way those godawful disney creatures are beyond implausible physically. I feel like it's almost as strong in doctrination terms as getting a whole nation to chant the little red book.

(has she gone to far now... runs to hide under Xmas tree)

OP posts:

BandOMothers · 23/12/2011 10:03

squeaky your emotive story doesn't make out concerns any less valid.

Rudolfsgottarednose · 23/12/2011 10:06

Then buy her Beauty and the Beast (ok, i'm completly missing the point).

Most Disney princesses aren't blonde. Girls decide for themselves if they are into 'princessy' things, mine grew up on Disney, because i love it, but none of my three DD's were girly.

My 16 year old likes 'glam' ott fashion, but i doubt anything she would choose to wear would be approved by Disney.

The people around her will influence her more and she will gain self esteem by seeing how the adult women around her allow themselves to be treated.

Laquitar · 23/12/2011 10:06

Your dd's most important female role model is you.

Do you get the bins out?

Banking/bills/decisions.

Can you change a tyre?

Do you bleed the radiators?

Are you happy to be alone in the night?

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:06

respect to you Bandomothers.
Mud, I know the newer ones are much better, have much less of a problem with them.
Misspent, of course not, but we do live in a culture where girls have massive problems with self esteem. Some people would argue that the messages which they receive about their value come from places like Disney. That disney is PART of the picture of girls who grow up feeling ugly and fat rather than uniquely beautiful in all their difference.
(sorry forgive that last bit, it should have been read to an accompaniment of soaring orchestral uplift)

OP posts:

SantaDesperatelySeeksSedatives · 23/12/2011 10:08

Snow White and Cinderella are indeed the biggest drips out there, but other princesses like Belle, Rapunzal and Tiana? from The Princess and The Frog are far more interesting. Feisty, hardworking etc.

IMO there are worse things for DC to watch. Like Peppa Pig. So glad my 4 year old is over her. She is a bossy, rude brat and no one ever tells her off or even reminds her to play nicely from what I've seen.

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:09

actually what I really want to know is are there any mothers/carers out there who will stiffen my resolve to keep the films at bay for as long as possible. I want to know if I'm being mad (like dh thinks) to even worry about it. I don't think I am mad but I know some people are really defeatist about it and just give in.

OP posts:

Rudolfsgottarednose · 23/12/2011 10:09

On balance though, the princes are rediculously handsome, what will it do to the males in our society who will never have wide shoulders, be over six foot, have a six pack or get to ride around on a white stallion?

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:12

But we live in a society full of mad looking heroes as well.
I mean Javier Bardem is a sex symbol and he is scary looking.
Men are not under the same pressures imo! There is pressure but it's not loaded in the same way.

OP posts:

Rudolfsgottarednose · 23/12/2011 10:13

Are not Snow White and Cinderella, both 'classic fairy tales' ?

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:13

Javier.... sigh........
I wish I could let down my plait and have him climb up it.

OP posts:

snuffaluffagus · 23/12/2011 10:14

I grew up with Disney and loved the whole dressing up as a princess thing but I'm not blonde or a wimp and I didn't hang around waiting for a prince.. I'm a feminist and proud. But do whatever works for you, she doesn't NEED Disney obviously.

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:15

I think the stories, read, are not sending quite the same message as the movies send. They send a message but the whole package of the message is tempered by how the story is read and illustrated imo.
Disney presents a world view and a gender assignation to the viewer. It's hard to resisit that kind of propaganda. I do think it is arguable that you can call it that !

OP posts:

antsypants · 23/12/2011 10:15

My DD doesn't watch any Of the Disney princess programs, the occasional mickey mouse and a couple of Ceebeebies shows.

She loves painting and dinosaurs, spends most of her time pretending to be a ballerina or princess... Such is the lure of pink and sparkly rubbish and tat.

I wouldn't read too much into it, it's not the media that has the biggest influence on your child, it's you. If you are not backing up the surrendered woman ideal and instilling an attitude of dependence on image then I am sure your child will be level headed enough to be able to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

MorelliOrRanger · 23/12/2011 10:18

I love Disney films, but I prefer the later ones also. The Princess and the Frog is one where a) she isn't blonde b) she isn't a spoilt brat c) she works really hard.

We only have a few in this house, but that is a firm fave. Thankfully.

Rudolfsgottarednose · 23/12/2011 10:18

Most children under 10 won't know who Javier Bardem is and the sex symbol bit shouldn't be in the thoughts of children. If it is then Disney is the least of the worries.

I find it more worrying that young children are watching Katy Price and TOWIE than Disney.

My youngest likes Manga, Anime, the girls are very sexual, yet Japanese society isn't, so i have got mixed feelings on whether Disney is as harmful as some make out.

Original poster

mrszimmerman · 23/12/2011 10:19

all good points well made.
I think I'm going to hide the Cinderella one til she's older and then I needn't worry about it!
Thanks

OP posts:

KittyFane · 23/12/2011 10:23

OP think it's the message about a certain kind of beauty as well which I hate, the way those godawful disney creatures are beyond implausible physically
:o Obviously! They are cartoons! Exaggerated and stereotypical. That's what fairy stories are about too. It's a story. you are being precious OP.

Flip

1 2 3 4