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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or just coincidence?

58 replies

EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:01

My sister has face booked me to say that she needs to be available on the 4,5and 12th of january as she has appointments, despite me having put all mine up on the calendar. I have told her i cannor change them. It seems a bit of a coincidence that all of a sudden since she came in today that she has appointments after i got 2 yesterday and put them up for the fouirth and fifth, the fourth being solicitors about custody in response to a letter from his solicitor and the fifth a doctors appointment, The 12th is my best friends birthday and so it seems all too coincidental, that these are the three days her appointments fall upon. Or am i being paranoid, (quite stressed) x

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 22/12/2011 20:31

Just say no. You have a hell of a lot going on in your life right now and all of it is more important than sitting on her chewy dog.

MigratingChestnutsOnAnOpenFire · 22/12/2011 20:31

erm....

is it me or are things round here a bit mad tonight???

Op, why does it matter???? if you can't help, you can't help.

manticlimactic · 22/12/2011 20:32

Just tell her to get fucked. She's taking the piss. Her dogs her responsibility.You live in the same house don't you (if my memory serves me)? If you do make sure nothing of yours can be chewed.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:32

Oh mum has her mamogram (breast screening) on teh fourth and shes busy the other days so I have to be available. I just cant physically be in two places at once, god knows recently i wish i could have been, She is now avoiding me on facebook and has her phone switched off!

OP posts:
MigratingChestnutsOnAnOpenFire · 22/12/2011 20:33
Xmas Confused
Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:34

Her dogs live with her partner (most the time anyway) and when he cant be about they are over here to be looked after. She stays sometimes and others she doesnt. Its a mess. I would assume she would leave them at her partners house and not here cos of the cats. Such a mess. If only it was easier. I just want everything to be sorted out. and nothing more thrown at me before christmas. Not too much to ask surely? x

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 22/12/2011 20:36

Look, Ellen, you have only just moved down near family haven't you? You need to nip this dog madness, in the bud, and now.

You need that sol meeting. Don't compromise. You need to get tough cos you are in for a rough ride over next few years with your ex.

Pandemoniaa · 22/12/2011 20:37

PS. In the interests of clarification, I think this is what Ellen means to say. In summary, that is:

"My sister has just sent me a message via Facebook. She has asked me to make myself available on three days in January. I am already booked to do very important stuff on the same three days in January and have also written my appointments down on the calendar. So I think she has made these impossible demands on my time deliberately. AIBU to be pissed off with my sister?"

ballstoit · 22/12/2011 20:38

WTAF?

You should be available to babysit her dogs???

YANBU. Obviously.

And please pass this on to your sister from me Xmas Biscuit

Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:39

I am trying to be tough, and my sister and her partner have been ever so supportive to me so i dont want to seem ungrateful. I have only just moved down and i dont want to be arguing with anyone and putting mum in an awkward position, as she doesnt need the hassle. If i could i would, BUT I CANT. This appointment is too important to me and my sons future.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/12/2011 20:39

Just say no. You're an adult aren't you? How hard can it be?

Flubba · 22/12/2011 20:40

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it!

Thanks Pandemoniaa:)

MigratingChestnutsOnAnOpenFire · 22/12/2011 20:41

thanks pan! In which case YANBU

whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2011 20:42

You say 'No sorry I'm going through enough and can't commit to helping'. That's fine. In your circumstances I don't think it'd be top of my list of priorities either.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:42

Oh god, my sister can make it really difficult and make you feel really bad about it!! I mean really bad, but what can i do? Split myself in two.If only i could sometimes!!

OP posts:
Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:43

And she looks like and acts like i have just slapped her in the face. x

OP posts:
MigratingChestnutsOnAnOpenFire · 22/12/2011 20:43

just tell her the solicitor has no other appnt time

mominamillion · 22/12/2011 20:44

If i could i would, BUT I CANT. This appointment is too important to me and my sons future.'

That's exactly what you should be saying to your sis. You would do it of you could, but you can't. Be firm.

mominamillion · 22/12/2011 20:46

'Sitting on her chewy dog' Grin

whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2011 20:49

I feel your pain. I have a relative for whom the dogs are more important than any old person Hmm

GooKingWenceslas · 22/12/2011 20:50

I needed that translation.

It's not that the OP isn't speaking English, it's that I am so unbelieveably confused as to how the OP thinks this is her problem Xmas Confused

Your sister has some dogs. They are her dogs. They are not your dogs.

She would like for you to please look after her dogs.

So she says please look after my dogs, and you say, no I'm sorry I can't.

That's it. They aren't your dogs.

Why is this your problem?

I am going to get wrinkles on the my forehead through being so Xmas Confused as to how you can possibly have accepted that this is your problem!

That was for your own good.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 22/12/2011 20:52

Probably right. She makes it feel like it is MY responsibility to look after them and to help her out. She said i needed to be available cos i have to look after the dogs on these dates. I would normally feel like saying no just on the grounds of being ordered to do it! x

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/12/2011 20:54

You only feel it's your responsibility if you choose to. They're her dogs, and it isn't possible for you to accommodate her. How she reacts to that is her problem not yours.

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 22/12/2011 20:58

Your scene-setting leaves a lot to be desired, Ellen

whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2011 21:00

AF - Ellen is forgetting you all have lives and don't know she's in the midst of a divorce from a shitty DH who is trying to get custody of her son despite a history of DV.

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