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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that - at 47 - I should stop trying to be beautiful?

42 replies

kylietokaren · 22/12/2011 15:31

I used to look nice once. Really, I did. I was slim, always wore make-up and did my hair and wore nice clothes. At 37, I looked like Kylie. Not boasting, I don't mean that I looked as good as her, but I had her figure, hair and as I said, I always looked nice.

Ten years later, and at 47 I have really let myself go. I am overweight, never bother with my hair or make-up and live in frumpy clothes. I caught sight of myself in a mirror the other day, and I realised who I looked like... Karen Matthews.

WTF happened to me in 10 years??? Can I do anything about it, or should I just resign myself to the fact that I am middle-aged and just embrace it?

OP posts:

EdgeofGlory · 22/12/2011 15:39

If you're saying WTF after looking in the mirror then it says to me you're not happy - are you? If the answer is no then look forward to the NYear and potential new you. Think how great you'll feel when the compliments roll in.

ninah · 22/12/2011 15:41

not even Kylie looks like Kylie anymore
you don't sound happy, though. it's good to like the way you look

fishie · 22/12/2011 15:43

I think one should aim to try to look as good as possible. not go mad longing for youth or having tons of treatment. Just looking nice.

hwjm1945 · 22/12/2011 15:45

i know waht you mean, am 44 and sometimes can't be arsed to keep on grooming

carabos · 22/12/2011 15:47

Same here, except I'm not overweight - I just look a bit old and tired instead of vibrantly pretty as I once was. Luckily I have my brain and my qualifications, my professional reputation and amy experience to fall back on - and DH is eternally grateful as he was always punching above his weight looks-wise when he pulled me .
I have "beautiful" friends who have none of those things and are conseqently staring down the barrel of self-loathing.
Cheer up, get a haircut and don't give in!

Hassledge · 22/12/2011 15:48

I'm having the same "sod it then" thoughts at 45. I persist with the hair dye and the makeup and the nice clothes but really it's increasingly like trying to polish a turd. But I think I'd feel a lot worse about myself if I stopped. Keep fighting the good fight, I reckon. Even if you are polishing a turd, you feel better for the small improvements, and you notice them more.

ninah · 22/12/2011 15:49

nothing wrong with a sparkly turd

eirikthered · 22/12/2011 15:54

Whyyyyy? My dp's 80 year old grandmother still gets her hair done once a week and always has her make-up done. Just because you're the shocking age of...(gasp) 47 doesn't mean you have to give up! Unless you want to? It doesn't sound like you enjoy feeling this way. I've always wondered if frumpy women are like that because they think they're not worth spending time on - if that's what you think then you're so wrong! You are worth time and attention. It sounds like you've given up on yourself: that is so sad and completely unnecessary. Get down the hairdressers, join a zumba class and start looking after yourself. Unless you're happy as you are, in which case carry on :)

Feminine · 22/12/2011 16:26

Don't give up :)

I won't be dying my hair when the white/silver comes in ...but I will always take care of myself.

You owe it to you.

Start over in 2012..I'll bet it won't take long

bemybebe · 22/12/2011 16:29

Kylie doesn;t look like Kylie because she is desperate in trying to look like one (wtf about all the surgery??)

There is nothing wrong with being nicely groomed whatever your age

inkyfingers · 22/12/2011 16:30

Please look after yourself from a health point of view if not to be Kylie-esque. No point competing ... but losing the weight and staying fit (avoiding the pints of ) means a happier, longer life surely. we'll be working longer anyway....

PeelThemWithTheirMithrasKnives · 22/12/2011 16:42

I was never Kylie-esque so if anything feel that I have improved

PeelThemWithTheirMithrasKnives · 22/12/2011 16:42

Karen Matthews not a good look though.

moondog · 22/12/2011 16:43

ast sparkly turds and mention of Karen Matthews.
Be the best you can be-in every way.

coccyx · 22/12/2011 16:44

I have decided that 2012 will be the year I do look 'reasonable'.
I hear what you are saying OP,

cuteboots · 22/12/2011 16:51

I too have decided that I need to make a bit more of an effort in 2012. Im also going back to the gym. Dont give up +

SanTEEClaus · 22/12/2011 17:00

You don't have to dye your hair or wear make up to look beautiful. I look beautiful every day and do neither.

It's all about attitude. If you think you are beautiful, you will look beautiful. Fact.

Oh and I'm nearly 43.

newgirl · 22/12/2011 17:04

i just googled karen matthews...

come on now, you know you will feel better if you look your best. Make a regular appt for hair, buy some nice clothes in the sales that fit you and get on with it lady. My grandma is in her eighties always has her hair done when we go, takes pride in her figure and has a fab smile - shes bloomin gorgeous

WorraLiberty · 22/12/2011 17:07

Or course you can do something about it.

Lose weight, buy nicer clothes (ebay or charity shops if you're skint) and pop a bit of make-up on...if that's what you want to do.

XmasFayreToMiddlin · 22/12/2011 17:09

It's true you can't polish a turd

but you can roll it in glitter

Shakirasma · 22/12/2011 17:09

I have never been one for fancy clothes and hair, or wearing make up or jewellery, but I have always kept myself clean and tidy and been comfortable with myself.

But just lately when I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I look old! I no longer feel pretty I just look middle aged. I'm 35 and life is pretty stressful, and though other people say I'm being paranoid, for the first time in my life I am uncomfortable with my looks.

lljkk · 22/12/2011 17:13

I never was one for "good grooming". What others take as good grooming I take as... well, i won't say, don't want to start a ruck. But it very far from impresses me a lot of the time.

Getting fat is different, it's bad for your health. I suggest think in terms of fitness and feeling good in your own body, OP, and protecting your health for the long term. Do you have the energy levels you want, do you feel strong & fit? I understand some take feeling good in their own skin to mean things like presenting themselves smartly, too.

DeePanCrisPandEeeven · 22/12/2011 17:13

OP - no. Never give up. Just take a bit of time to re-emerge from your recent chrysalis.[poetic].

turds pmsl.

XmasFayreToMiddlin · 22/12/2011 17:14

My MIL is 75 and has a figure to die for.

She plays golf, goes to the gym, has her hair cut and highlighted regular.

Her skin is quite wrinkly due to too much sunbathing but she is the life and soul of any party.

Don't give up just yet !!

yellowraincoat · 22/12/2011 17:17

I thought you meant Karen Brady rather than Karen Matthews. I wouldn't complain about looking like the former, so thought you were being a bit harsh!

Think Iljkk has made some good points - maybe it's better to concentrate on making your body feel good?

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