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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

well she didnt turn up un-announced (yet) however she has text!

62 replies

MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 11:21

I started a thread last week about the expected arrival of my mil during this week to bring a present for dd (I can't link as I'm on my phone) we don't speak to mil however she usualy turns up and launches presents at me for dd.

Well she hasn't turned up yet. However she sent dp a text last night it read 'I want to bring dgc all of her christmas presents, I am coming on friday I suggest you make sure she is there'

Those are the exact words, dp has not replied as of yet but I personally think he should tell her to bog off..

Aibu? What would you do? Her coming round is not an option

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 13:59

An injunction sounds like the next step either that or putting down

I have a feeling if dd and mindee were not here I would of given her both barrels I have a lot of anger inside towards her

OP posts:
pugsandseals · 22/12/2011 14:03

Very well done you! I remember something very similar happening during a time I hod no wish to be in contact with my parents, but I wasn't that strong & caved in/let them in. It took a good 4 or 5 years before I was strong enough to see them again during which time they made a point of buying xmas/birthday presents for DD each year & brought them round all in a big bin bag once we were back on talking terms. Some people are just totally unreasonable for some unknown reason!!! DD now only see's them under strict supervision & they still try to play the game of 'which grandparents are in favour, we must have equal contact to other PIL's shit!

You guys sound like you also need that complete break! But for now you have won the battle - you should be VERY VERY VERY proud of yourself!!!!!!

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 14:11

With the amount of shit that comes out of her mouth I would be afraid of putting lemons up her bum,. Pahaha!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 14:11

With the amount of shit that comes out of her mouth I would be afraid of putting lemons up her bum,. Pahaha!

OP posts:
Tanith · 22/12/2011 14:25

Is she CRB-checked? I appreciate you're not minding tomorrow, but she won't know that.
Tell her she can't come to the house until she's been vetted and send her the form to complete.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 14:41

There is no need to get her crb checked, and I won't be wasting my time getting her to do it that would involve talking to her which is not going to happen

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 14:46

pugs I am glad we are not the only ones with crazy families, your right we need a complete break but she doesn't get it she sees she has done no wrong and thinks she can do whatever the hell she likes.

My dp's sister is getting married next year and we have not been invited his sister is the clone of their mother so that's one invite I am glad not to receive, however saying that 5 years down the line if were all speaking (doubtful without apologies being made first) it will be a huge bone of contention!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 14:46

pugs I am glad we are not the only ones with crazy families, your right we need a complete break but she doesn't get it she sees she has done no wrong and thinks she can do whatever the hell she likes.

My dp's sister is getting married next year and we have not been invited his sister is the clone of their mother so that's one invite I am glad not to receive, however saying that 5 years down the line if were all speaking (doubtful without apologies being made first) it will be a huge bone of contention!

OP posts:
Flimflammery · 22/12/2011 14:47

Bloody hell what a nightmarish woman! Well done for standing up to her Mary P.

pugsandseals · 22/12/2011 15:08

Now that you have shut the door in her face I doubt she will try you again when you are on your own. She might try when DP's in to see what happens, but other than that even she must have got the message. When/If you decide to be in contact with her again, facebook is a fantastic way of letting her feel she has some control over what you are up to when in actual fact she will have none! It seems to keep my DM off my back!

I think a lot of people have absolutely no understanding of post-natel depression. I know my mum didn't! Often it's a sign that they are/were depressed too but don't want to admit to it. Mine will still be absolutely sure that I live in a bubble & have hidden away from life, just because I moved to a village & don't live in her pocket anymore! If this is your MIL then I doubt anything will change her mind. But if you need space, you need space. Don't let her take that away from you and DP!!!

BerthaTheBogBurglar · 22/12/2011 15:09

Well done for keeping her out. She doesn't have a right to give your dd presents. You, your dp and your dd do have a right not to have contact with her, though.

Call the police and report what happened, so that there is a record of it in case you do need to take it further. The number is prob 101 ( www.police.uk/101 )

And then get dp to text her later and tell her that the police have been informed that she attempted to force entry to the house.

stuffthenonsense · 22/12/2011 15:44

I would also get a lawyer to write her a letter telling her to stay away from you/ your home/ your child etc etc....get them to make it clear that being verbally abusive and threatening (trying to stop you shutting the door) is not acceptable, and that she is not to send gifts to your family...or that if you want the gifts, she is to leave them in your solicitors office...she does not have a right to give anything to your child.
Hope you are feeling calmer now

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