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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

well she didnt turn up un-announced (yet) however she has text!

62 replies

MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 11:21

I started a thread last week about the expected arrival of my mil during this week to bring a present for dd (I can't link as I'm on my phone) we don't speak to mil however she usualy turns up and launches presents at me for dd.

Well she hasn't turned up yet. However she sent dp a text last night it read 'I want to bring dgc all of her christmas presents, I am coming on friday I suggest you make sure she is there'

Those are the exact words, dp has not replied as of yet but I personally think he should tell her to bog off..

Aibu? What would you do? Her coming round is not an option

OP posts:
DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 21/12/2011 12:36

The manner of her text suggests she does not want reconcilliation just access to her dgc.

Personally the dc's and I come as a package (with dh as well of course!). regardless of the gifts, she is being unpleasantly controlling.

I think I would just reply.

"That's not convienent".

I trhink more than anything the rudeness ad assumption that you should be there to receive her (like the queen) would get my back up more than anything. She has no real threats to makewith regard to your situation but at least you could hold the moral high ground and save her a wasted journey.

TandB · 21/12/2011 12:42

Send one back saying "I suggest you bog off".

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 12:45

yule her coming round is not an option, especially not an arranged visit, neither I or dp want anything to do with her and dd will be so much better off having nothing to do with her also.

She is poison and if she had half a chance she would try to poison dd against us as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 12:45

yule her coming round is not an option, especially not an arranged visit, neither I or dp want anything to do with her and dd will be so much better off having nothing to do with her also.

She is poison and if she had half a chance she would try to poison dd against us as well!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/12/2011 12:53

Then you need to make it clear you want no contact & therefore no presents.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 13:07

Oh my lord if I told her that ofsted were coming she would pay a few people to stand outside with placards proclaiming I am some kind of evil person.. She would take much delight in ruining anything we have!

mme your suggestion is very good very straight and to the point

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 18:23

Well dp text her back,

'Mum, after everything that has happened I do not feel that just because it is christmas we should pretend that all is ok. I would rather you did not show up with any presents for dd, I hope you can respect this'

I am very proud of him for standing his ground! Let's just hope she gets the point

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 21/12/2011 18:23

Well dp text her back,

'Mum, after everything that has happened I do not feel that just because it is christmas we should pretend that all is ok. I would rather you did not show up with any presents for dd, I hope you can respect this'

I am very proud of him for standing his ground! Let's just hope she gets the point

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllenandBump · 21/12/2011 18:53

that sounds very reasonable andnot one bit nasty in the slightest, well done your man and well done you!!

Katisha · 21/12/2011 19:01

She is using your daughter as an excuse to stir further isnt she.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 21/12/2011 19:03

That's a very good text.

Mine would have read "I suggest you fuck off"

Yours is better. Grin

I wouldn't go out on friday, if I didn't already have plans to. I'd just stay in and if she came to the door - I just wouldn't open it.

I hope that she respects your decision.

runningwilde · 21/12/2011 19:11

I think you are extremely wise keeping your dd away from her. Protect her from this stupid, toxic woman

pugsandseals · 22/12/2011 13:04

Good luck!!!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 22/12/2011 13:14

There is no way in the world that I would let someone like that have anything to do with my children, grandparent or not.

I'm glad your DP has text her back. She sounds awful.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 13:30

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That stupid stupid woman...

She pitched up this morning... I am not one to swear but she is one fucked up evil person

OP posts:
coraltoes · 22/12/2011 13:32

Oh my god!!! What did you do?! Please tell me she is in the oven with a lemon up her arse.

stuffthenonsense · 22/12/2011 13:38

oh no! what happened?

Flimflammery · 22/12/2011 13:45

Please tell me she is in the oven with a lemon up her arse
hahaha

I hope you were strong Mary Poppins.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsMagic · 22/12/2011 13:49

I will do a timeline of events for you...

I was giving dd and mindee their breakfasts when there was a hammering on the door (think police raid knock) I answered to her standing there

Me - 'what do you want?'
Her - 'I have a right to give my granddaughter her presents for christmas and I am coming in'

At this point I went to shut the door and she held her hand out to stop me closing it,

Me- 'get off my property immediately I am working and you have been told not to turn up here'
Her -(shouting) 'your not fit to be a mother or even work with children, now let me in or I will move you myself'
Me- 'go away or I will call the police you will not bully me again'

I then slammed the door and locked it, luckily she had moved her hand else it would of hurt she then stood there knocking for 10 minutes then sat in her car on the phone for a further 15 minutes

I am still shaking, how I didn't lamp her I will never know why does she keep doing these things??? She never asks after dd never during the year as she won't speak to us so why now its christmas does she feel the need to turn into a raging lunatic!

The children didn't hear anything as I closed the door to the kitchen when I went to answer the door, I told dd it was a very persistent sales person!

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/12/2011 13:52

Well done, OP, very well done. No wonder you're shaking. Will DH contact his mother to tell her never to do this again? You might need an injunction.

Bloody well done though!

Mulledbee · 22/12/2011 13:52

Wow! She sounds dreadful. You handled that so well though.

YaMaYaMa · 22/12/2011 13:53

I would call the (non emergency) police and let them now that she tried to force her way into your home and may come back. They may go and speak to her and scare her off.

CalamityKate · 22/12/2011 13:54

Bloody hell she really must be mentally unstable!

Well done for keeping her out.

coraltoes · 22/12/2011 13:59

Woohoo good work OP!! Is she still out there? Have you called your DH? Massive well done. Shame there wasn't a chance to shove a lemon up her bum though Xmas Grin