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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm grumpy and it's my neighbours fault but AIBU?

50 replies

CheeseAndBunion · 19/12/2011 16:53

Right... Mumsnet jury please decide whether my grumpiness is reasonable or not - I'm in a bit of a huff.

My neighbour two doors down has a lodger. I think she might be a mature student but I'm not 100% sure. I don't know my neighbour very well but he seems nice enough, I don't know his lodger either but she seems nice enough too. Over the summer the postman tried to deliver a parcel to her but she was out. He knocked on my door and asked if I would sign for it instead which I did and that evening she came by to collect it. 'Thank you very much' she said, 'No problem' I said and that was it, she went on her way and we've had no contact since.

Last week three delivery men knocked with parcels for her from Amazon and the like. I've signed again and my DH has dropped them round to my neighbour later (she's not been there). I thought it was just chance that meant I was the only person in when the deliveries arrived but after another 2 deliveries this weekend and one today I've discovered it's because on all her delivery instructions she's written 'If no reply at lodger's house please leave at cheeseandbunion's.' Now, I've got the hump slightly about this because a) she's not mentioned it to me or asked if that's ok, b) she's not popped over to say thanks for the 5 packages we've already dropped round to her and c) I'm currently in a full cast to my knee after a foot op so hobbling to the door for her gubbins is getting right on my tits.

Am I just being a miserable Victor Meldrew of a neighbour though - or is she in fact a cheeky mare?

Thoughts please!

OP posts:
SmellslikeSANTAScatspee · 19/12/2011 16:55

Cheeky Mare!

SantasStrapon · 19/12/2011 16:55

Very rude not to ask, I'd be huffed off with her too. Bloody cheek of it.

MosEisley · 19/12/2011 16:56

She's a cheeky mare. You could just be kind and carry on or you could start turning them away. Or hobble round there to tell her she is a cheeky mare.

Nanny0gg · 19/12/2011 16:56

She's rude.
Refuse to accept them. Or keep them till she fetches them and then ask what she's playing at.

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 16:56

YANBU

I take lots of parcels in for everyone but she's cheeky to have put leaving them at your as an instruction, without asking you.

SanTEEClaus · 19/12/2011 16:56

She's a cheeky mare. Next time, refuse to sign for it. And don't have your husband take it around. Let her come for it.

Give some people a mile and they'll take the earth.

crazycrackernanna · 19/12/2011 16:57

YANBU a cheeky mare indeedy.

merry Christmas

MabelLucyAttwell · 19/12/2011 16:57

I expect some will brand you as BU but this happened to me and I have known my neighbours for many years. It started with the delivery man asking if I would take something in - which I did. It happened several times and then I noticed that, like yours, my address had been added to the delivery address panel on the parcels without my being told. I didn't mind though because the neighbours had done things for me. Deliveries became more frequent and I now have a key to their house so I don't fill up my hallway with huge parcels. It's also useful for me to have the key when one of them is locked out.

billgrangersrisotto · 19/12/2011 16:58

Dont drop them, let her collect!

usualsuspect · 19/12/2011 16:59

She should have asked you first

Me and my neighbours take parcels in for each other all the time ,but we all ask each other first

ChuffMuffin · 19/12/2011 16:59

I'd just not say anything. Don't ring her or text her when they arrive. If she wants them she can bloody get off her arse and pick them up herself, the lazy cow.

Or you could just refuse delivery of them... Grin

GlueSticksEverywhere · 19/12/2011 17:00

Yeah make her collect but be out (hiding behind the door) everytime she knocks for a week so she has to wait ages for her parcel.

Shutupanddrive · 19/12/2011 17:00

YANBU! What are you going to do about it? Xmas Grin

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 19/12/2011 17:05

Yes i would take them in but not answer the door till she gets frantic and teary

squeakytoy · 19/12/2011 17:09

She should have asked you first, it is cheeky, but if you dont mind doing it, I would say to her "give me your mobile number, then I can text you if a parcel comes and you can call to collect it".

whatstheetiquette · 19/12/2011 17:11

It is cheeky, but just don't answer the door if you don't want to take the parcel in.

PicaK · 19/12/2011 17:13

Yanbu. Unlesslodger turns up with nice bottle of wine.

BluddyMoFo · 19/12/2011 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoingForGoalWeight · 19/12/2011 17:15

I refuse to take parcels for most neighbours thses days. you are well within your rights to refuse the deliveries. No more worries.

Deafworm · 19/12/2011 17:16

Yanbu I have sometimes done this but a) had neighbours permission b) neighbour is a good friend c) neighbour got a big box of chocs for Christmas as a thank you for her help with that and other bits over the year! To do it without asking you is a bit off really

Deafworm · 19/12/2011 17:18

Mofo that's different to putting a delivery instruction when you order to a specific neighbour who you have barely met, I've been known to put a note up like yours and in fairness most of the time it's me taking in for others but this is different imo

redwineformethanks · 19/12/2011 17:19

Cheeky for her to give out your address without checking with you. Suggest you ask the delivery guys to put a note through your door telling her where to collect. That way it's not inconveniencing you at all

G0ldenbrown · 19/12/2011 17:22

Apparently it is now Post office policy to leave with a neighbour wherever possible. I hate this. To be fair, its always my parcels being left elsewhere and I'm sure my neighbours hate it more. I have LOVELY neighbours on one side, alright on the other and not so nice further down the street. Guess where they always get left? I hate being a pain for other people and would much rather go to the depo (which is 5 mins away)

dixiechick1975 · 19/12/2011 17:23

My neighbour (who v kindly takes parcels in) was put out when the driver wouldn't leave a parcel with her!

It was ghd's and company policy not to apparently but she thought i'd put the do no leave with neighbour instuctions on!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 19/12/2011 17:29

I am the only one in our part of the street that is home all day so I take in a lot of parcels for neighbours. I don't mind at all, however I think in your situation it doesn't seem as though your neighbour is appreciative and is taking it for granted, so I would be peed off too. I would just start refusing to sign for them.

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