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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to do housework over the three days of christmas.

32 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:01

According to my mother i am.

DD is with her dad this week, back friday. The house is a little dirty, as in the bathroom hasnt been cleaned for a week, i need to wash the floors and dust. Hoovering has still happened as has washing up etc.

Mother popped over yesterday and had a bit of a go and said i needed to sort it out as it was ' discusting' its not.( Bu then she cleans her bathroom twice a week... she also works less hours than me and has a husband and no child to look after.)

i explained to her that there was no point in me doing in then, as it would only need doing again before xmas and, seeing as it was only me at home now.. then it wont harm me to shower in a bathroom that hasnt been cleaned for a week ( which only 1 adult and 1 five year old use) and that ill time it to be done this week sometime, so i wont need to do it again before xmas eve..

House will be sparkly before dd comes back and then i plan to just enjoy xmas eve with her ( rather than cleaning).

My mother thinks im being ridiclous.

OP posts:
MysteriousHamster · 19/12/2011 10:03

I'd do exactly the same, but I'm not known for living in a super sparkly shiny house anyway!

Collision · 19/12/2011 10:03

Your house, your rules!

Tell your Mum if she is that bothered the cleaning liquids are in the cupboard!!

Put your feet up and enjoy the peace for a while. No one will die from a few germs!!

squeakytoy · 19/12/2011 10:04

I get the feeling your idea of "a little dirty" is probably minging to anyone else... Confused

Having a child to look after is no excuse for not cleaning your house.

Molehillmountain · 19/12/2011 10:04

Send her over to mine! Why does she think she has any right to comment on or criticise the way you keep your house? If you think it's fine it's fine. If her comments are needling you because you'd like it to be cleaner because you like it that way, then clean.

belgo · 19/12/2011 10:05

YANBU. A bit of dirt is far better for the immune system then most detergents etc.

wahwahwah · 19/12/2011 10:07

Only three days? I am planning a 'mops-down' for the full 12.

Woodlands · 19/12/2011 10:09

what on earth makes you say that squeakytoy? I was thinking her standards sound rather higher than mine - I only hoover once a week. Yesterday my DH and I between us did all the washing, tidied up, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, hoovered everywhere and mopped the floors - we are going away on Christmas Eve and so we were feeling chuffed that we won't need to clean again before Christmas now!

Woodlands · 19/12/2011 10:09

so my point is YANBU, OP.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:11

i dont think its minging at all. No washing up in the sink, hoovering every other day ( downstairs) no piles of washing, no rubbish. Surfaces are still being wiped etc....

Im not even looking after my mychild this week, she is with her father, so its only me living in a house with a pile of paperwork on the kitchen table ( which my mother was horrified at... just need to go though it and take it to the office upstairs, will take all of 10 mins) and dd's school work which she brough home friday which i have displayed about the house. yes, its rubishy tat, but dd thinks its lovely.
We also made paper chains to put up in dd's room which my mother declared was like ' bits of rubbish hanging from the celing and would need to come down boxing day' the last ones we made were left up for a year... :) they looked pretty.

OP posts:
Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:14

and yes, it might be a bit lazy of me, but i cant see the point of cleaning the bathroom yesterday( which is the issue really) for just me to use, then having to clean it again on sat ( xmas eve) Why would i do that?

Im going to clean it wed, and then next wed. its not awful i dont think. According to my mother is akin to living in toxic waste.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 19/12/2011 10:15

How can people get away with hoovering once a week?

We are all out all day - we hoover twice a day. I clearly live with mingers who drop crumbs and scoff without plates if they can get away with it.

ImperialBlether · 19/12/2011 10:16

Your mum needs to mind her own business. Why do you let her in your house if she's so critical?

AliBellandthe40jingles · 19/12/2011 10:18

Well I think I would probably clean it in your position - just an hour and then to have a lovely clean house to myself for 3 days - bliss!

Then you can do another hour or two before your DD comes home and then ignore it over Christmas.

trois - I hoover at least once a day downstairs, the place gets so mucky.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 19/12/2011 10:19

OP YANBU - you're an adult you can live any way you want - that's probably the real problem with your mum - you are no longer under her control - different standards does not = wrong! Whose right is it to say how anybody lives is wrong anyway?

My mother thinks I'm a slattern because I don't iron sheets - I laugh at her - frankly she's ridiculous

forwantofabetter1 · 19/12/2011 10:20

YANBU but then I am not the most house proud of people and do have a tendancy to step over as opposed to picking up clutter!
My Mum often dispairs of me and will tidy up when shes here looking after the boys (she does my ironing too!).
I just always seem to find more interesting things to do rather than tidy up.

HandMini · 19/12/2011 10:25

YANBU. Your mum sounds like she's being a pain. Tell her you're happy, thanks and to change the subject to something more interesting.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:27

i dont iron full stop. i dont look creased either. How can you hoover twice a day? and tbh, i havent got time to even hoover once a day.
madness!

we dont drop crumbs though. its only dd and i ( shes almost 6) not much mess is made really.

i think the house is mostly clean anyway. I hoovered top to bottom on sat, dusted as well. cleaned the windows and glass last week. wiped down all the walls the week before...changed the beds sunday,washed the towells and the dressing gowns... all the washing is done Including the two dog beds. Ive just left the bathroom ( partly because im lazy and dont want to do it twice, partly becuse im going to bleach the hell of it of and give it a through clean this week ( im talking toothbrushes and scrubbing here) when i usually just clean it quicker. And i need to mop the floors, which ill do after rehooving just before my dd comes back fri.

last washing loads will be done on the 23rd when dd gets home and then thats me until the 27th, nothing bar washing up, cooking, wiping surfaces and generally keeping stuff clean ( saying that i need to change my bed again as the dog got on in the night and there is now hair on it.)

is that really awful>

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 19/12/2011 10:31

Ah well, I've got a herd of teenage boys - who are mingers.

One of them will shove the hoover round before I get in from work, then it gets shoved round again after dinner.

How can you not hooover daily if you have dogs though (Coz the thing was permenently in my mothers hand when we had a dog)

VivaLeBeaver · 19/12/2011 10:36

Your mum sounds a bit like mine. Though thankfully mine has decided that my house is so disgusting (it isn't) that she won't come round anymore!

Enjoy Xmas and forget the housework, I'm sure that's what your dd would prefer.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:42

Ah - so its not YOU hoovering twice a day then... makes all the difference, no doubt if someone was going to do it for me and help out then id gladly let them/get them too ( future job for dd i think) . Yes, the dog puts fur everywhere, tis one of those things.. i can hoover and 10 mins later it doesnt look like i have..... it doesnt really get any worse than that though, so every other day doesnt make much difference really. And what with working and being a lone parent, leaving the house early and not sitting down till 8:30 most evenings, im knackered, pushing a hoover about after 8:30 pm is just not happening. A quick flick over has to surfice until my day off or the weekend, and really, i cant see that that is awful??? ( Is it??)

viva - thats the point, i think dd would be far rather we spent time together xmas eve ( doing nice things as opposed me nagging her to help clean, or her sat in front of the tv on her own while i clean). Mother thinks not. I dont think im BU, esp since its only me living with a dirty bathroom for a few days.

OP posts:
SantaAteAllTheBiscuits · 19/12/2011 10:47

My house actually is disgusting atm.

I had an asignment due last week which I had to spend hours on and was out all day saturday. We had a friend round over the weekend and I didn't want to make him twitchy by spending the day hoovering around him so I took a day off yesterday and will tackle the whole house in a big top to bottom clean this week to prepare for christmas.

If anyone dared to comment though they'd be told to get on and do it themselves then if it bothered them! Even my ridiculously houseproud mother wouldn't comment... in fact when I've apologised for the state of it before she's just said 'Don't be silly, your coursework and the kids are more important than having a show home'

troisgarcons · 19/12/2011 10:52

I'm not the clean-freak my mother was - but then, looking back I can see she had OCD - she would wash one cup by hand then throw the tea towel in and turn the washing machine on.

I have a bit of a thing about bathrooms and kitchens - and the hoover does go round - but then again I dont dust regularly (mainly because I dont have many surfaces to dust, Im not a compulsive collector of crystal like she was)

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 19/12/2011 10:53

YANBU, there are better things to do than housework!

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:54

yeah, i dont see the problem with that at all - thats life sometimes. I might have cleaned the bathroom earlier, like on thur, but last week was so busy with work dos, and school things, and then i looked after my mothers dog ( walked and fed and had at mine) several afternoons/ evenigns AND had her overnight for two nights as there was a family funeral across the other side of the country and mum wouldnt have been able to go if i didnt have her dog. So i was working and running around like a headless chicken and looking after two dogs. else i would have cleaned the bathrom thur... and then again this coming thur. i didnt. and now ive a dirty bathroom. such is life. i cant see how its that bad.

OP posts:
Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 19/12/2011 10:55

mum is a bit ocd. she took a broom and an air freshner camping. i kid you not.
im not.
therefore i am a scruffian.
:)

OP posts:
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