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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not know about christmas tipping and want to know if you do

182 replies

Lambzig · 19/12/2011 08:21

Yesterday our milkman sent us a christmas card. Was going to send one back, but just got off the phone to my father who tells me it was a little hint for a christmas tip in a return card. DF tells me I should also be tipping the bin men, the postman, the grocery delivery man (we always get the same one) and anyone else like that, and is shocked I have never done this. We live in outer london suburbia (in case thats relevant)

Is this something everyone else does and all these people have been staring at our house in hatred at the meanies who live there for years or is Dad (who does live in a small more rural community and probably bumps into everyone) being old fashioned. Am also worried how I am going to afford it.

OP posts:
MsEltoeNWhine · 20/12/2011 15:14

I haven't got a regular postman and I am always traipsing to the sorting office for some parcel or other that 'wouldn't fit' or because I 'wasn't in'. I haven't a window cleaner. I haven't a cleaner, beautician or hairdresser and don't get papers delivered. I've had to climb out of my gate twice this year thanks to the bin men trapping me in with the green bin stopping the latch....they leave bins scattered everywhere up and down the street and create complete chaos. I live near a school and they think it a great idea to come at school time blocking off several nearby roads and causing no end of disruption.

DD's teachers and assistants got gifts.

Lexilicious · 20/12/2011 15:14

as in, no tips to those last few

waitingforchristmas · 20/12/2011 16:25

We don't tip the bin men or the postie, i never see the binmen and our postman is different every day. I'd tip the paperboy if we had one and i'd definatly buy for the kids teachers if they were at school. But to be honest i don't really get the whole tipping thing, i'm happy to pay a tip for great service but not just because it is expected. They are just doing their job at the end of the day, doctors don't get tipped do they and lets be honest that's a slightly more important job (or rather more helpful i can move my own rubbish however i'd struggle to remove my own gall bladder ;)

MrsCampbellBlack · 20/12/2011 17:00

I don't think tipping at christmas is an american thing - my grandparents always gave out 'christmas boxes'.

sparklytinselandthings · 20/12/2011 17:02

Good grief. Some of these amounts are a bit Shock
£10 to the binmen, £10 to the postman and £10 to the window cleaner?! Blimey, must be nice to have that kind of money spare to throw about at all the people you come into contact with!
I've just got enough to buy presents for our (large) family and relatives. Nothing left over. Certainly nothing near that left to bung to everyone!
Where do you stop? The lady at Tesco who packed your bags with a cheery smile and said Merry Christmas? Should she get a tip as well?!
It could go on forever. Nice if you have the money to throw about, but certainly not expected!

marriedandwreathedinholly · 20/12/2011 17:03

Isn't Boxing Day called boxing day because it was when the servants were given their Christmas Boxes containing gifts and food and given the day off to visit their own families to celebrate?

betterwhenthesunshines · 20/12/2011 17:12

£10 to postman who is always very helpful and recognises me (in a busy London street) by name.
Yesterday evening I popped into our local dry cleaners/ tailors to see if they had a zip I could buy. They gave one to me, but refused to accept any money for it. So I have just been in with the children and a small box of homemade gingerbread - they were absolutely over the moon
£10 to milkman + some gingerbread for his round and some truffles to take home. But he did deliver last year throughout the dreadful snow and he gives us homemade and designed Christmas cards. I've never meet him as he's up so bloomin' early but he certainly makes my life easier!
Not window cleaner as they charge a fortune anyway, and not bin men as too much random chucking of recycling boxes across the pavement....

MrsCampbellBlack · 20/12/2011 17:22

Yes it is married - I just had to check as was wondering if I'd made up christmas boxes.

Skodafabulous · 20/12/2011 17:23

Present for cleaner
Wine for childminder
Chocolates for creche in gym that look after baby 1 hr a week
Hadn't thought about postman before reading this but he is fab so chocolates for him too.
Never see bin men & no milkman.
I'm a GP and though I would never expect anything it's always lovely to know you are appreciated..what exactly you get given is irrelevant

Sillyoldelf · 20/12/2011 18:14

It strikes me from this thread that the upper middle class have not been affected by the financial crisis . Most people I know have cut back on their spending this Christmas .

kelly2000 · 20/12/2011 18:24

essential,
And people can and are prosecuted for receiving cash payments and not declaring them, so they are defrauding the tax office. But paying Christmas tips on top of wages is also patronizing as the people who have linked it to the practice of giving the servants presents on boxing day have rather shown.

MrsCampbellBlack · 20/12/2011 18:29

Not sure my cleaner or the dustbinmen felt patronised - they looked pretty pleased to me.

SardineJam · 20/12/2011 18:39

Would love it if I got a tip for doing my job!
As I work full time I never got to see/meet any of these people, however I'm now on maternity leave so have seen the postman, but to be fair, as others have said, they get paid for doing their jobs so I wont tip, and anyway my maternity pay is not particularly generous to accommodate this 'extravagance'

marriedandwreathedinholly · 20/12/2011 18:46

Indeed MrsCampbellBlack. We have always tipped and I have never known anyone to decline or to look offended. Usually a great big smile and a great big thank you and "happy new year". The postman usually gives me a kiss - he's been with us since 1994.

Sillyoldelf - no we haven't cut back but then we have never gone mad in relation to our income. The dc are getting a pair of Doc Martens and a Kindle this year respectively - there are threads on here where two dc have £500 or more spent on them. That has never happened here. DH will be getting a new wallet £35 from Debenhams (not the £140 one with a nude on that there was a very long thread about) and I will probably get a bottle of perfume if I'm lucky.

stealthsquiggle · 20/12/2011 18:54

OMG our cleaner is going to be disappointed if she is getting 3 weeks wages from other customers - she will get a home-made cake, as did DC's teachers.

SantaffetaClaus · 20/12/2011 21:10

Postman - bottle of wine
Binmen - £10
Cleaner - week's wage plus hm biscuits
Window cleaner - nada
Swimming teacher/ballet teacher/Rainbows helpers - wine/chocolates/biscuits

Similar to marriedandwreathedinholly we don't spend huge amounts on gifts for close family. DH is getting a nutcracker. And some nuts. I am hoping he opens the bag of nuts first. Xmas Grin

EssentialFattyAcid · 20/12/2011 21:16

Kelly2000, we all know about the requirement to pay tax! The point is that it's the responsibility of the person receiving income and not of the person paying it. As for tips being patronizing, if that were the case they would simply be refused. There are a fair variety of bizarre arguments Invoked here to justify keeping your purse tightly closed!

TuftyFinch · 20/12/2011 22:25

My binmen were very happy with their 'tip' and for everyone saying they get paid to do a job, yes, we know that but how willing would you be to empty a bin crawling with maggots, shitty nappies and the like. I tip the binmen because they provide a good service. As I already said up thread, they have to come round the back of our house to collect the bin-and go through 2 gates to get there. They always bring the bin back and always shut the gate. They don't leave stuff all over the road, they talk to my DC who are fascinated by the bin lorry. I gave them £5 in a Christmas card that said 'Thank you for your hard work. We appreciate it' or words to that effect. We're not loaded, have no savings, some debt and don't go mad at Christmas. I think it's polite to acknowledge people like bin collectors and posties because the service they give hangs massively on their attitude. They could still collect the bins/deliver the post but with such bad grace that it would completely change how that service was delivered.

i don't get tips in my job either but it doesn't mean I would use it as an excuse to not tip those I think deserve it. To say it is patronising is an excuse really isn't it.It's also not about the money. I think people would be just as appreciative of a card and a homemade cake. It's the acknowledgement of the good service not the amount given.

Underconstruction · 20/12/2011 22:40

Have read this thread with interest/dread as tonight's bin night and too late to go out and buy chocs. Last year I tipped the binmen generously (learning after tipping recycling and regular binmen separately that at least some of them are the same guys) and then they didn't come in the snow, even though we barely had any... and I discovered that the brilliant service of collecting our bins when we forgot and putting them back was actually just a wonderful neighbour (we'd only just moved in).

Hadn't thought to tip my postie as I barely see him but he's lovely and if post doesn't fit through our huge letterbox he usually comes round and bungs it through the door, rings the bell and rushes off, and he's always nice to our over-friendly dog... but how will I be sure it's not his day off as I only see him when he needs a signature?!?

Wonder if DH will tip the cleaner... I might have to do some cleaning to find out Grin.

eurochick · 20/12/2011 22:45

We never see our bin men or postman so they won't get anything. I would tip them if I saw them regularly. Our cleaner will get a week's extra money as a Xmas tip (although last year - her first year working for us - doing that seemed to prompt her to ask for a massive increase...).

stealthsquiggle · 20/12/2011 23:21

you are all making me feel guilty about not tipping our wonderful postie now. It simply never occurred to me Blush

JustRedbin · 20/12/2011 23:25

Paper boy gets a few quid.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 21/12/2011 11:59

I must be really mean, I don't tip anyone. I did feel a bit bad at not tipping the cleaner though but my husband normally leaves the money out for her and he didn't so I had to find the money and I didn't have any left over Blush. She has only been with us a few months so I will make sure I give her something (if she is still with us and doesn't think I am Mrs Scrooge - lol)

80sMum · 21/12/2011 12:15

Don't forget to tip the checkout operators and shelf replenishers in the supermarket. After all, they work hard too, you know. Oh, and there's also the guy that calls round from time to time trying to flog you tea-towels, not to mention the Parcel Force driver, the Next courier, the cleaners at your DCs school, the school secretary, the local postmaster/mistress, the guys/girls at the sorting office, the staff at Argos, the local traffic warden .... and all those other people who work just as hard as the postmen, bin-men and milkmen to make your local community run smoothly. I suppose it wouldn't be fair not to include all the local council workers as well .....

We all work hard and do the best job we can. Why on earth should some receive tips and not others? Do they not all get paid?

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 21/12/2011 12:55

Yeh, I agree with that 80sMum - And I think it's rather neat that I've helped look after and teach my postman's son at playgroup. A bit like an episode of Postman Pat Xmas Smile