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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know about christmas tipping and want to know if you do

182 replies

Lambzig · 19/12/2011 08:21

Yesterday our milkman sent us a christmas card. Was going to send one back, but just got off the phone to my father who tells me it was a little hint for a christmas tip in a return card. DF tells me I should also be tipping the bin men, the postman, the grocery delivery man (we always get the same one) and anyone else like that, and is shocked I have never done this. We live in outer london suburbia (in case thats relevant)

Is this something everyone else does and all these people have been staring at our house in hatred at the meanies who live there for years or is Dad (who does live in a small more rural community and probably bumps into everyone) being old fashioned. Am also worried how I am going to afford it.

OP posts:
Get0rf · 20/12/2011 01:56

Blimey - I don't tip the bin men or postman - I have never seen them. I am out of the house before they turn up.

How do you tip them then? Do you watch for them out the kitchen window, and then scamper out after them waving a fiver? Or sellotape a crisp note to the top of the wheely bin?

I tip waitresses, hairdressers and taxidrivers, but nobody else.

SayYuleNowSayWhipTheReindeer · 20/12/2011 08:12

"I tip my beautician, taxi driver, waitress, hairdresser and don't consider them lowly tradespeople either."

Bin men, milkmen, postmen, and most if not all of the should-be-tipped employees mentioned above earn more than me and DH.

starfishmummy · 20/12/2011 08:24

Paper boy and Milkman get a tip. This year wondering about the Veg box man as it is now a direct employee of the company rather than being a franchise holder iyswim. He has sent us the "hint" card.

The postie should tip me - Im a Sahm and end up taking in stuff for our neighbours (who have the worlds smallest letter box) on a regular basis!

TroublesomeEx · 20/12/2011 08:50

A friend of ours recently became a taxi driver. Real eye opener I can tell you. Won't ever tip one again. Ever.

HandMini · 20/12/2011 08:52

Folk - why is that? I always tip taxi drivers.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 20/12/2011 08:56

bin men
postie
cleaner
window cleaner (although this year he called for his money on about 2nd December and I haven't because I wasn't in Christmas mode)
milkman
car park man

hackmum · 20/12/2011 09:02

pigletmania: "hack its good if you have the money, but if you don't then you should not be made to feel guilty. Yes binmen get paid a lot of money so its worth their while to get up so early, what about tipping Police, Ambulence and Fire staff who work anti social hours, harsh conditions, at times with ungrateful violent people! They deserve it more."

Who's making anyone feel bad? Lots of people on this thread seem to have quite nasty reasons for not tipping people - they seem to think that postmen get paid lots of money, for example. As for tipping being the preserve of people with money, well, my parents never had much money and always used to tip. I think it's probably more a working-class tradition anyway - working-class people usually have a sense of how hard it is to do jobs like that.

Most of us rarely come into contact with the police, ambulance and fire staff so how would we tip them?

EssentialFattyAcid · 20/12/2011 09:57

There isn't a rule that says you shouldn't tip amyone who earns more than you do - that's not the point of it!

sillyoldelf the point is that people like to receive tips. They aren't some insulting kind of second rate attempt at showing apreciation as you seem to imply that are primarily about making up for undesirable psychological problems of the giver.

OK so lots of us never get tips ourselves, but probably most of us would be happy to at christmas!

I think there is a lot of mean spiritedness out there that people like to dress up and justify in a million and one ways but at the end of the day there is generous and there is mean and really we all know the difference.

SayYuleNowSayWhipTheReindeer · 20/12/2011 10:17

"there is generous and there is mean and really we all know the difference."

So if you tip you're generous, and if you don't, you're mean? Hmm

drinkystinkyyuletidegubbins · 20/12/2011 10:33

Our bin men are crap - virtually every week this year they have missed collections at our house and then lied (saying they had collected and I had somehow refilled the bins with 2 weeks worth of rubbish) when I called to report a missed collection - of course this week, the week before christmas, not only did they empty the bins on time but also rang the doorbell to tell my bemused nanny that they had done. I assume its because they were expecting a tip. They were just bloody lucky I was already at work at the time or they'd have got a festive tongue lashing (and not in a good way) instead.

I tip good service - my cleaner gets a christmas present. But to tip non-existent or rubbish service that is funded by the council tax players? Madness.

TroublesomeEx · 20/12/2011 11:11

handmini

not declaring full hours worked money earned.

claiming HB (if renting obviously)

claiming maximum child tax credits.

Amazing how many of them work the exact number of hours and earn the exact amount of money every week without fail to qualify.

There is a culture of it and when our friend started doing it he was over the moon at all the 'advice' he was given Hmm

MrsCampbellBlack · 20/12/2011 13:14

I love mn.

Seriously tip if you want to and don't if you don't want to.

I don't regard myself as lady bountiful but I tip those who do a good job because I want too.

kelly2000 · 20/12/2011 14:05

I do not tip people at Christmas. Apart from anything the binmen do nto provide a good service, and I do not go around tipping everyone who provide a service -how many people tip their doctor, local shopkeeper, nurse, guys who do the roadworks, the local police etc. People get paid a wage, why should people be expected to top it up through Christmas tips, especially if they do not provide a good service.

kelly2000 · 20/12/2011 14:09

Also, does tipping not create a lot of hassle for them anyway, as they will have to go and fill out tax forms for it which they do not normally have to do if they get a normal wage and are not self employed.

pigletmania · 20/12/2011 14:33

hack my point exactly! The option should be there if you want to tip or not. I will not, not because i am mean or stingy, but I am literally short of money that its not possible. If I did it would be the postman as dh is always ordering stuff and they are very good. The binmen get a lot of money, and I don't have a cleaner, window cleaner, milkman etc.

pigletmania · 20/12/2011 14:34

I hate this tipping nonsesnse its getting very Americanised.

pigletmania · 20/12/2011 14:36

What is wrong with a card and a box of chocs, isent it about showing you appreciate them, more than the monetary worth.

nellyjane · 20/12/2011 14:37

I don't normally tip the binmen/postman/window cleaner etc because I'm never home when they come round. This morning I was actually at home when the binmen came round, just as I realised I hadn't put the bins out. I went dashing outside to catch them, asked which bins they were taking and handed it over.

It was only after I went back inside and closed the door that I realised he had probably thought I was dashing out to give him a tip - must have been a bit of a let down to be handed my compost bin instead! Xmas Blush

housemum · 20/12/2011 14:40

This year is the first year I have done any Christmas tipping - only to the postman, I put £5 in a Christmas card, message said something like "enjoy a drink on us". We live at the top of a reasonably steep hill, and get a lot of post. He's really cheerful and helpful, and I figure that my online shopping/magazine subscriptions/general mail requests are more than average. (Certainly when we've looked after neighbours' houses when they've been away they have had about a quarter of our average post!)

kelly2000 · 20/12/2011 14:43

piglet,
And the reason they tip in America is because they have such low wages.

On that note the one person I always tip is the trainee who washes my hair at the hair dressers. Normally because they are trainess and being taught they get pathetically low wages (sometimes £2 ph) despite the fact they are working nearly all the time rather than sitting down being trained so a tip means a lot to them when they spend all day everyday on their feet for hardly anything.

EssentialFattyAcid · 20/12/2011 14:49

kelly2000 - no hassle as pretty much nobody declares their cash tips - unless you were planning on tipping by credit card or cheque of course!

I agree that if someone provides a rubbish service then you wouldn't tip them, but yes it is common to buy your doctor a bottle of wine and a box of chocs or similar for the surgery staff. Few people actually "expect" to be tipped at christmas but that doesn't mean it's not appreciated. I have had a bottle of wine at christmas twice in 20 years at my work so I don't expect it but I definitely appreciate it.

I work in the public sector where there is no free xmas party and no bonuses or tips. I give my staff Cineworld vouchers as a thank you at christmas. My boss buys us a drink (he is quite tight so this is pretty generous coming from him).

kelly2000 · 20/12/2011 14:55

isn't that wrong though, that people are being encouraged to not declare money they earn. And I thought it was illegal for doctors to accept even small gifts from patients - did they not revamp the rules a few years ago.

tyler80 · 20/12/2011 14:59

Anything we are given has to be declared, money goes to the chairman's charity, gifts of any value get kept to raffle. This would apply to binmen also (no idea whether they declare it or not but lots of the lorries have onboard cameras these days)

EssentialFattyAcid · 20/12/2011 15:06

The rule is that all income over a certain de minimus limit must be declared but practice regarding small cash tips is quite different. Giving people tips does not encourage them to defraud the IR any more than paying cash for items or services does.

Lexilicious · 20/12/2011 15:13

a week's pay to our cleaner and home made jam. she has left a present for DS here which she shouldn't have done!

haircut on Thursday and will tip washing lad and cutting lady although her prices have just gone up since being promoted to senior stylist

DS glittered and sticky-starred a card and we planted up a bulb planter for nursery staff.

bin men ok but come at silly o'clock
postie grumpy
no window cleaner
ocado always different driver
plumber doing very well for work
decorator same