To absolutely dread Christmas Dinner

[sitandnatter]

I hate eating near some of my family, it makes me feel ill and I avoid it like the plague.

There is no escape for Christmas dinner so AIBU to dread the tea slurpers, those who insist on talking to you while masticating turkey, cranberry sauce and gravy, those who will rearrange their internal phlegm (I am sure intentionally as I go visibly green) without thought of using a tissue paper, I can't bear it, I am dreading it, am I alone?

I forgot the mad aunt who sits with her legs open displaying her not so clean gusset. I hate Christmas Day.

Prays I win holiday abroad in the next seven days.

Oh my goodness, sitandnatter

And there was I feeling sorry for myself because it's just me and DS stuck in Dubai...

Can you get stuck into the egg-nog/mulled wine/anything vaguely alcoholic, once the food is plated up?

OP are there no alternatives? Why do you see all these social misfits relatives when you know how awful they are?

I would be finding alternative venues for next year if I were you.

at "not so clean gusset."

Good Grief!!

And people look at me with pity when I say DH, DD and I spend Christmas Day on our own!

My family is like yours - Dad has usually finished his starter before Mum even sits down; they are total tea-slurpers; I have to go on a feminist rant before Dad or DB will lift a finger to help clear up; Auntie gets pissed and tears into the way I live my life.

No more!

I have skillfully evaded Christmas Days like this for years, this year though it has caught me out I can't even drink as I am drivng 60 miles there and 60 miles back for this Christmas from hell. At least I have the car and when it all gets too much I can get the hell out of there hopefully I manage to last until after the dinner so I don't offend everyone.

All I can say is "Let it snow, let it snow let it snow" BUCKETFULS!!!

Oh dear! I'm going a long way to my stepson's for Christmas (few days) and, as far as I know, I will be the only one on his late father's side among 14 altogether. I will be on my best behaviour, not drink because I'm known to fall down, will sit demurely and help to dish up and wash up. I will eat normally though because I don't speak or chew with my mouth open. I hate seeing people do that (and we often see it in dramas / soaps on television - what an example to set!).

I'm rather nervous now to know that my every move will be watched!

My Dad is a dinner-slurper. I cannot bear to sit opposite him while he is eating . I even asked him last time he came round to eat "Have you forgotten your dentures?" "No..." he replied. "Well why are you slurping your dinner then??" To which he made no reply.

Pales in comparison to a dingy gusset though!

You forgot the picking their teeth with their tonguers. >

Why just not go? YABU.

good gracious they sound disgusting delightful .

People who chew with mouths open/talk with mouths full don't deserve to be fed . I include my own DP in his category
And tea/soup slurpers are utterly disgusting as well. Can't these people hear themselves????? And people who eat as if there is a pack of wild dogs chasing them - yuck!

There is always escape unless you are a dependent child. You have a choice. There may be alot of pressure to eat with your family but the choice is still there, especially if you don't live with your parents. Eat alone or just you and kids + partner if you have one, go out for xmas meal, go to partners family. Since being an adult I have never felt I "must" eat xmas dinner anywhere. It's not as though you are leaving anyone on their own as there are loads of them. You could go round on boxing day or for xams evening if a buffet.
If you choose to spend xmas day with them then you have to accept your relatives shortcomings. They do sound gruesome.

oh well i am sure they will all soon pop their clogs soon enough and you will be alone

thats something to look forward to at least :)

feeble
Im just glad that my family will all be together on Christmas day. Couldnt give a shit if they ate with their mouth open. And who the hell has tea with their Xmas dinner Try slurping wine instead of tea, you might actually enjoy yourself.

wow I wish I could spend christmas with my family but they are 450 miles away

theres none of that, we have great fun

Think of them as a documentary and yourself as the director. That way you can pretend you are witnessing an interesting social experiment.

Or just get pissed.

That's a good idea Pandemonium - 2 good ideas actually!

Yanbu and I feel your pain.

We have dinner with dh's family, who are arseholes.

I don't want to go, but he won't not go and it is gradually getting to an us or them situation.

I dread it all year.

Ooh, pandemonium - LOVE IT!

Pand I so wished I could get pissed but I have to drive my mum there and collect her afterwards, as it is about 60 miles each way, I'm stuffed!!!! I can't think of an excuse that would cover me not staying for a few hours at least with that kind of a journey to make. When I have had them here I've been able to hide spend time in the kitchen preparing food so I don't have to witness feeding time at the zoo.

The minute I park up though I'll be opening a bottle of something and feel fully justified in demolishing it, when I get back.

What makes me even madder is one of them insists on telling my son that eating like a pig is perfectly acceptable and his mum is just being fussy. My nerves are on edge already.

The Royle Family are not that bad!

Mine not quite as bad as this, but can't bear that MIL starts eating as soon as plate in front of her and before everyone is served. We've even held her plate back til everyone is served, pretending it got lost in the chaos of big family dinner, as it irritates me and dh so much.

Oooh I hate that, nikos. Then they've almost finished before you've even started, and clearing plates away and talking about what's for pudding. I can't stand it! I eat slowly and hate to be with people who are eating too fast - it gives me indigestion.