To absolutely dread Christmas Dinner

[sitandnatter]

I hate eating near some of my family, it makes me feel ill and I avoid it like the plague.

There is no escape for Christmas dinner so AIBU to dread the tea slurpers, those who insist on talking to you while masticating turkey, cranberry sauce and gravy, those who will rearrange their internal phlegm (I am sure intentionally as I go visibly green) without thought of using a tissue paper, I can't bear it, I am dreading it, am I alone?

I forgot the mad aunt who sits with her legs open displaying her not so clean gusset. I hate Christmas Day.

Prays I win holiday abroad in the next seven days.

I know, it's such a small thing to get irritated by BUT IT IS SO DAMN RUDE

My grannies (RIP) used to create tension all the way through Christmas dinner stressing about whether they were going to miss the Queen's Speech.

It really pissed me off that Brenda was more important to them than breaking bread with their family.

seriously

It's getting worse, I was planning on leaving at about 10 to get there for 11 then leave at 3 making excuses about not like driving in the dark. Pressure building for a much earlier start and a much later leave time.

I know I have been contributing to threads not understanding why people kill their family, but I am starting to understand. Am I going to go to hell?

Who's Brenda, Euphemia?

Oh I think leaving at 3 is too late, OP. It's dark by 4. I think you should leave a bit earlier than that.

And I'd aim to get there for 12, too - you wouldn't want to disturb the ritual boiling of the vegetables, would you?

At least if we leave earlier it might give aunties undies less time to ferment. Like close your **king legs woman!!!! I don't mind her wig not being on straight, that's just the mad aunty thing. In my wedding photos she stands out like a sore thumb but that was many years ago now but you can tell she is the mad aunty just looking at them.

Oh Gawd help me.............. She's not even the slurpers or masticators, at least a gussett is easier to avoid with a bit of careful seating, I
suppose it would be rude to eat my Christmas dinner looking down with my fingers in my ears?

Brenda is Private Eye's name for the Queen.