To ask (D)P to sleep on the couch tonight?

[teacoupons]

I have Fibromyalgia and have not been well all day. I woke up at 11am and my DP said to my friend ?Let that fat, lazy bitch stay there and I'll do everything myself?.

He's been in a mood all day but as soon as I heard he'd called me fat I broke down. I told him to go away as I was crying and later on explained I'm not just anfry at him but it also really hurt me. He said ge shouldn't have said it and was angry. He's now reading a book in the kitchen 'giving me my space' but would I be unreasonable to ask him to sleep on the couch tonight?

I really don't want to sleep next to him. He knows the issues I have with my weight and illness and for someone I love who tells me I'm gorgeous and supports me the best he can to say that, it really fucking hurts.

'He's not stooped to that level sober before.'
So, he normally only calls you vile names when he's pissed? That's OK then .

I wish you well, too

Mostly, I wish that he examines his behaviour properly and resolves to not take his frustration out on you

and I do think a comment like that is calculated, or his little temper tantrum would have been more likely to generate a comment like "I am so fucking sick of your illness", for example

there is a difference between being angry with the illness and holding a person in contempt

"fat lazy bitch" suggests the latter, to me anyway

Not in such a horrible way but he has called me a bitch or a twat in a pissed off kind of way ie ?Stop being a bitch?

do you call him similar names ?

Christ. My DP has never called me a bitch in 14 years, in any context. I don't call him vile names either. When we argue we talk about the issue or behaviour we don't like; we don't resort to personal insults. If he told me to stop being a bitch I'd kick him out of the window.

I'm not proud of it but I sometimes call him a twat.

well, he ^is6 a twat

the reason I asked is that some people's relationships are like this...they call each other all manner of horrible names, and then it's all forgotten, until the next time

not how I live my life, but only you know OP whether this very calculated and personal comment is something you can live with

is

Name calling is not too bad. If we argue and call each other names it's usually blown over. I really hated the ?fat lazy bitch? comment though. It seemed harsh.

it is harsh, you don't have to second-guess yourself about that, love

Let's get this straight. He gave up his ambition to be an electrician to be a drummer and now he's given up drumming because he wants to be paid for being your carer despite the fact that he doesn't care one iota for you?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1344960-Im-at-breaking-point-DP-more-interested-in-drumming-than-his-family

All of the wishful thinking on your part does not disguise the fact that this manchild does not enhance your life in any way and that no amount of 'counselling' is going bring about any positive change in his behaviour towards you.

ah

this man is an utter shapeshifter, isn't he

and a cocklodger

that other thread simply confirms what I had already suspected, but was holding back because you seemed to think he was ok "just a bit stressed"

Op, you have more problems than a bit of a "shouty" relationship, don't you ?

I am so sorry, but this man is bad news

the day you going to acknowledge that, will be the first day of the rest of your life

free from him and his dramas...at liberty to concentrate on yourself and your own life

I think your chronic illness will improve greatly when you remove this parasite from your life, too