Short, sharp, festive D&V AIBU

PreviouslyonLost · 2011-12-18T16:17:50+00:00

DCs go to school Christmas party...(small rural school <30 children) Later that evening DC1 is violently sick all over their bed. DC1 has to be put in bath and settled into our bed...their bed beyond the pale. DC1 vomits in our bed shortly afterwards, despite towel and bucket preventative measures our bed is out of action thereafter. DC1 is bathed again, and put into last available bed (swathed in towels, sheets, and plastic). DC1 vomits again, and had diarrohea running like water out of them for the rest of the night and into the early hours...poor, very poorly, ill soul [sad] DC1 misses next few days off school, and Christmas School pantomine (in which they have a long-practiced, and much awaited role). DH is home (works away) and can look after DC1 over the next few days. Met another school Mum a few days later who chats about the 'lovely school party'...I say that DC1 was ^very^ ill afterwards, and I'm then told that "that'll be because a 'parent' had brought their children to party even though they had terrible D&V..."Mrs X (another villager) was like a hawk watching ^her^ DC to make sure they didn't go near the D&V children"...I was too rushed at the time to ask ^which^ Mum was the D&V bringer. AIBU to think that this information should have been 'shared' to spare our DC1 the misery of a nasty and avoidable illness, AND missing their first school pantomime? The mother of D&V children made her decision regardless. and...if DH hadn't been home, I would have had to take a week off work to care for DC1. What I REALLY want to know is, do I gird my loins, find out from school Mum ^WHO^ brought their ill children to party, then --rip them a new ************ , send them a bill for 3 ruined mattresses-- (NOT Vi-spring but expensive nonetheless [grin] ) ^speak^ to them on the school-run tomorrow about their utter pigheadessness selfish behaviour? (DC1 now recovered, but it's nagging me dear MN'ers) *DISCLAIMER* We has mattress protectors on all beds...didn't stem the tsunami of D&V tide one jot [sad]

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 16:21

It sounds to me like she had the bug before going to the party and would have been ill that night anyway.

These things generally tend to fester in the body longer than a few hours from contact with the sick person.

YonderRevoltingPeasantWhoIsHe · 18/12/2011 16:24

YANBU from the sounds of it. I'd have words though wouldn't seriously expect financial compensation.

When we were younger we had not just mattress protectors but plastic casings for the mattresses underneath. Idea?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 16:24

What difference will it make, OP? Sorry that your son was poorly, hope he's better now.

D&V, snot, sneezes, chicken pox = price of having small children and allowing them to socialise.

Get a waterproof sheet and keep it nearby next time... there will be a next time, alas.

Bunbaker · 18/12/2011 16:25

I think it is supremely thoughtless and selfish to bring a child who is still poorly with D and V into school or anywhere public. What was she thinking? I thought all primary schools had a strict 48 hour policy anyway.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 16:29

Nah, Worra...healthy as a horse beforehand, and have since asked who they sat beside when they were eating the party spread (turns out it was another child who missed pantomime)...DC2 sat apart on another table and missed the vomming and watery poo trauma. TF.

I'm feeling aggrieved and want permission to go ballistic tomorrow

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 16:30

A quick Google tells me that symptoms normally appear 24 to 48hrs after contact with a sick person.

Cherriesarelovely · 18/12/2011 16:34

Hi POL was wondering how you were and now I know! Are you feeling particularly bold since your succesful endeavours with the piss taking neighbours in the summer?!!

Sorry, I have namechanged since then!

Cherriesarelovely · 18/12/2011 16:37

Seriously though, it is reprehensible to take kids out and about to a party when they have D and V. Not sure you could prove it or get her to pay compensation though. Is extremely unfortunate though, the expense, the missing the panto etc. Feel very sad for your DCs and for you.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 16:43

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe...yes, yes, yes to all you mentioned..I have very social children and expect the snots, spots, and sneezes!

Just upset (D&V Mum's decision apart) that other mums were aware of bug and didn't share the info.

YonderRevoltingPeasantWhoIsHe I'm online purchasing plastic everything as I type!

Bunbaker...yes, that's the standard in childcare locally...I've had to abide by it before. Tres annoyed that some parents had the knowledge and, imo, selflishly kept it to themselves.

Yes, I think I am spoiling for a fight...one look at DC1's face while they suffered made me angry...tomorrow is first chance to do something about it..or not. Hence, AIBU?

OP posts:

BlissfulMistletoe · 18/12/2011 16:45

Op I would suggest mattress covers. Any how there is always going to be 1 parent who take there child to school/ parties ect.

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 18/12/2011 16:49

Symptoms can come on quickly, when I had norovirus I was exposed at about 8pm, felt ill at 3am (enough to wake me up) and was vomming guts up at 7am.

I know I got it that evening and it came on VERY fast.

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 18/12/2011 16:51

YANBU (although you are slightly mad not to have platicated all beds already!)

We are currently in the middle of D&V (I firmly believe broought back from toddler xmas party attended 24 hrs before symptoms!).

DC was fine 24 hrs after episode but I'm a nurse and stick like glue to the 48hr period so did not go to another party , thank god as at 40hrs post last symptoms we had another vomit. Now I have it and I've cancelled that whole family going out this afternoon to a house party as I don't hink it's fair to visit people knowing close family memebers have d&V (good job too as dd2 came out in Chicken pox this pm)

My house is a bundel of joy today!

Cherriesarelovely · 18/12/2011 16:51

I suppose she might have thought that her DCs were over the worst or not infectious......still not a good move I know and clearly they weren't! It is odd that the mums didn't share the info with you and also that the school didn't raise an objection. Most schools are very strict about not coming into school for at least 24 hours since D and V if not 48 hours. You could ask if they were aware and go from there.

Cherriesarelovely · 18/12/2011 16:52

Oh no Doris that sounds like truly bad luck! Hope you all feel better soon!

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 16:53

Cherriesarelovely Aww, I'm great...thank you for asking. Maybe less accepting of fuckwickery than I once was since my last AIBU.

Mother with D&V children made her decision...I accept that, I think my problem is with the parents who were aware of situation and chose to look after their own and not (respectfully) share what they knew, leading to another (there may be more) child being ill and missing a significant (to them, and us, 'milestone')

Only kidding about reparations for (non-Vi-spring) mattresses...I just want to make them aware of the emotional, and financial, implications of their actions.

OP posts:

JaneBirkin · 18/12/2011 16:58

Hold off a bit. It sounds as though it came on very quickly after the party. I'd say that's more like food poisoning. And your other child isn't ill...

maybe dc1 ate something dodgy? the symptoms also sound food poisoningish actually, too. I mean in the severity.

I wouldn't be blaming the other mum at this stage. THOUGH I would be really annoyed that she brought possibly still contagious children to a party. That's shitey behaviour in any case.

herbietea · 18/12/2011 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 17:09

ALL (quality!) mattresses were protected by quality mattress protectors...made not a jot of difference, that's how bad illness was...

I have cleaned up RIVERS of vom and poo during the past few years... par for the course imo. Just rankles that other parents were aware, took own precautions, and didn't bother their backsides to look after other local children? My DC1 suffered for no good reason as far as I can see. I keep both DCs off school and nursery when ill, whatever the cost...lone parent when Dh away.

Just confused about who should I be angry at?...the Mums who enjoy childcare and social activities at our house that kept their mouths shut, OR, the brammer who took their sick children to a social event?

OP posts:

GreenIceAndChristmasHam · 18/12/2011 17:13

Just shake your fist at the universe and move on

These things do happen, and children do get ill despite our best efforts.

WilsonFrickett · 18/12/2011 17:19

But what could the other mothers have done? Created an exclusion zone around this other child so they sat on their own? I think you should save your ire for the mother of the sick child who brought them to the party regardless and passed the bug on, you can't really have a row with other mums who may, or may not, have heard the rumour that there was a sick child in their midst.

Hope everyone is better soon.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 17:25

JaneBirkin (I LOVE your bags BTW) DCs ate same food...just sat far apart beside other children. Village Mum was clearly aware of problem...and she and other Mum felt strongly enough to ensure their children did not mix with D&V children. Only DC1 and D&V children were ill...missing school pantomime (process of elimination at this point).

We have all been hale and hearty...just DC1 that had some very miserable days of ill health...and I ate a lorry-load of cheese balls and sausage rolls at the party.

My point, I think, is that other people were aware of a parent bringing ill children to a social event and were, IMO, too selfish to consider that other children could have been affected...other village Mum would've seen our DC1 sitting by D&V child/ren and not said anything!

OP posts:

JaneBirkin · 18/12/2011 17:32

Do I have bags? I must go and google myself!

I see what you mean entirely.

I'd feel really let down, too - that the other parents didn't think to warn me. That must feel horrid. I'm sure it wasn't deliberate, just thoughtless perhaps.

My best friend has a child in my son's class and is very happy to send his dcs in to school the day after serious D&V type stuff. As long as they seem better.
That's not the point but some people just don't seem to understand about contagion and transmission, and think as long as their child doesn't actually vom all over you, you'll be fine sharing food/touching/whatever.

I think a mass public education campaign is in order. But I think it's stupidity rather than deliberately going out to cause trouble to everyone.

You could mention it to the mother in question, let her know how awful it was, how much trouble was caused. And say you heard another child was ill just before the party, or something like that, you wish other parents would be more considerate.

That might make her realise. Maybe it will stop her doing it again.

ChaoticAngel · 18/12/2011 17:38

Hi POL nice to see your balls are still big and shiney. You probably won't remember me as I only posted a few times on your thread but I remember that thread well.

YANBU to be annoyed, I would be too both at the mums who didn't say anything and at the mum who still let her child attend the party despite the d&v. Not only has your DC1 being ill but the other poor child probably still felt crap too. I think, on balance, I'd be more annoyed at the d&v mum who took the risk in the first place.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 17:39

WilsonFrickett You are usually the voice of reason and good sense (Thank you) , and I agree that excluding a child/ren would have been rather sad while AT the party...the D&V parent MADE a choice to bring sick children (I was unaware of this...understand, perversely, her choice to ensure they didn't 'miss out'...have a harder time reconciling parents who KNEW of that situation/illness and who chose to look after them and theirs solely).

GreenIceAndChristmasHam I am LOVING your philosophy...Love and goodwill to all. I am at peace with myself...no ripping of new * and will slide into the Festive spirit...despite being on A/L and STILL having to go into work tomorrow. Many thanks for your wise words.

OP posts:

AlfalfaMum · 18/12/2011 17:46

D&V virus makes me really angry too, but if all the kids are at school together at least one of your kids was bound to get it anyway, and the 'D&V children' at the party probably didn't invent the virus themselves, but picked it up at school.

For your mattresses: get some soda crystals, wash the soiled areas then sprinkle liberally with soda and Hoover off when dry. Absorbs the pukey smell.