Page 2 | Short, sharp, festive D&V AIBU

PreviouslyonLost · 2011-12-18T16:17:50+00:00

DCs go to school Christmas party...(small rural school <30 children) Later that evening DC1 is violently sick all over their bed. DC1 has to be put in bath and settled into our bed...their bed beyond the pale. DC1 vomits in our bed shortly afterwards, despite towel and bucket preventative measures our bed is out of action thereafter. DC1 is bathed again, and put into last available bed (swathed in towels, sheets, and plastic). DC1 vomits again, and had diarrohea running like water out of them for the rest of the night and into the early hours...poor, very poorly, ill soul [sad] DC1 misses next few days off school, and Christmas School pantomine (in which they have a long-practiced, and much awaited role). DH is home (works away) and can look after DC1 over the next few days. Met another school Mum a few days later who chats about the 'lovely school party'...I say that DC1 was ^very^ ill afterwards, and I'm then told that "that'll be because a 'parent' had brought their children to party even though they had terrible D&V..."Mrs X (another villager) was like a hawk watching ^her^ DC to make sure they didn't go near the D&V children"...I was too rushed at the time to ask ^which^ Mum was the D&V bringer. AIBU to think that this information should have been 'shared' to spare our DC1 the misery of a nasty and avoidable illness, AND missing their first school pantomime? The mother of D&V children made her decision regardless. and...if DH hadn't been home, I would have had to take a week off work to care for DC1. What I REALLY want to know is, do I gird my loins, find out from school Mum ^WHO^ brought their ill children to party, then --rip them a new ************ , send them a bill for 3 ruined mattresses-- (NOT Vi-spring but expensive nonetheless [grin] ) ^speak^ to them on the school-run tomorrow about their utter pigheadessness selfish behaviour? (DC1 now recovered, but it's nagging me dear MN'ers) *DISCLAIMER* We has mattress protectors on all beds...didn't stem the tsunami of D&V tide one jot [sad]

ScarletFestiveFingernail · 18/12/2011 17:46

I'd be annoyed at this. With DC it's fair to expect snot, sore throats and coughs etc frequently, they can't be expected to be kept away from other children for that reason, they'd all be off all of the time.

D&V is a different kettle of fish IMO and utterly horrible. If you feel brave enough to say something then do it. I personally wouldn't and would seethe about it to myself because I hate confrontation.

Whether your DC picked up the bug from her DC or not she still chose to expose other children to the bug knowing there was a chance it would be spread. I'd be annoyed if I was friendly with the other mums and they hadn't shared the information with me, but my anger would lie squarely with the mum who brought the sick child to the party.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 18:19

AlfalfaMum...you too have experienced the vom/diarrohea yellow circles on previously pristine'ish mattresses. I too used to be afraid of confrontaton...'fraid AIBU has made me BOLD. Many thanks for soda crystals advice...I'm more a Johnston's Baby Powder queen for 99% of soilings .Red wine et al

Mum brought sick chidren to social event (CONSCIOUS decision ASFAIK...) Other parents were aware of this, though decided only to keep their own children separate from ill DCs...Pastoral idyll or what?

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JaneBirkin · 18/12/2011 20:23

I've only knowingly taken a risk like this ONCE and it backfired, and I still feel really rotten about it.

I was going to said best friend's party - obviously was expected to be there and had helped set up for several days (it was a big do) and anyway, late morning of the day itself, ds threw up in the car.

I had left other ds with friend, so went there, leaving sicky child in the car, and said look, he's ill, can you keep hold of other child please while I sort him out and I won't bring him anywhere near your place or the party.

friend said sure, and I went home and dealt with ds. He wasn't sick again and was seemingly fine. Friend said, Please come to my party, it was probably a one off, he'll be Ok. I said alright, against my better judgment. Took both kids to the party. They played with other children, he'd been thoroughly cleaned up, been fine for about 10 hours and suddenly at 10pm decided to be sick again I got him to the bathroom in time and washed the sink and so on, then separated him from the others, he went to sleep upstairs.

I was prepared for a night of vomming ahead but there was no more. However, my other child caught it so was ill the next day, as was another child who had been at the party I felt AWFUL as I always stick to the 48 hour rule normally and it was only under duress that I ended up taking him. I hadn't wanted to. But I kind of delegated responsibility to the person whose party it was and I never will do that again.

I didn't even want to go myself!!! (I hate parties!) So. I digress. She shouldn't have done it, and you were very unlucky. I hope you manage to salvage the mattresses.

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 18/12/2011 20:33

Most bugs are at their most contagious before symptoms show. A lot of this exclusion-for-48-hours stuff is basically made-up bullshit, same as 5-a-day and the Government Guidelines on how many units of alcohol a week you should have.
Sorry your poor DC has been ill, but that's just the way life is sometimes.

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 18/12/2011 20:44

SolidGold you make sense much of the time but on this you are just plain wrong. I don't give a shit about the 5 a day or the units of alcohol, but if people are ill it is more than likely they are infectious (particularly Dand V and especially norovirus).

Yes many other illness are caught and have a period of incubation but not all. And last time I checked short of lab testing there's no easy way to decide what is and isn't infectious. keeping your children away from others when they have been ill is just part and parcel of being a reasonable and responsible parent.

48hrs is there for a reason, 24 hrs is not long enough to be sure that the child is no longer ill (dd3 ill 42 hrs after previous episode on friday eve) it helps prevent spread particularly to those in the community who may not be well enough to deal with a secondary infection. Come on it's really not that much to ask!

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 18/12/2011 20:52

Rotavirus, along with several others, is contagious before symptoms appear. The point is that you can't stop viruses spreading simply because so many people are spreading them in all innocence ie not knowing that they are ill. So it's just tough shit (or indeed runny shit) if you catch one.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 20:58

Party was at the weekend so mother with D&V DCs did not HAVE to attend..wasn't a school day.

DC now over it, and smelly house all that remains of episode. Disappointed that I wasn't made aware of issue in order to protect own children while others were and kept schtum. I would have strayed from the cheese balls and been more hawk-like in my actions on the day if I'd known.

SolidGoldStockingFilla I always thought food poisioning was very quick acting, and 'bug' takes longer to appear? DC1 was ill within a matter of hours...rivers of liquid diarrhoea the poor darling.

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Bunbaker · 18/12/2011 21:06

Food poisoning can take up to 48 hours depending on the bug. I know to my cost. Some bugs develop toxins and this takes longer than just a few hours.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 21:06

Arrgghh...separating DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits and SolidGoldStockingFilla...'tis me that wants an excuse for an argument!

Other parent KNEW she had sick children (as far as I can take from brief conversation) decided to bring them to a party...other parents knew this, and didn't tell anyone else...who was most negligent?

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DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 18/12/2011 21:15

Solid- I agree that it is infectious before symptoms appear, yes there will always before unfortunate times when a child inadvertently affects others. But to not keep a child who is likely to be infectious (undeer 48hrs clear as with this scenario) is just plain selfish. Same goes for those who send their children back to school before 48 hours. Then wonder why "there's loads of it about"!

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 18/12/2011 21:17

I would be more annoyed with the former but also underwhelmed with the latter and be tempted to say something (sod the consquences)to both.

saladsandwich · 18/12/2011 21:24

ds was ill at the beginning of the week he was sick just once and i think it was something he ate because he is sensitive to foods but because the nursery told me there was a bug going round i kept him off for 48 hrs just incase because i know how crap it is cleaning beds at 1am in the morning i had to bin his duvet :(.

i missed a christmas lunch and ds missed his nursery christmas lunch which i was disappointed about it would have been his first and they had a special dinner with trimmed up tables, crackers and little crowns :( but it just werent fair on others if he did have a bug.

i always have some of those potty training bed mats, work better than towels just a tip x

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 21:29

ChaoticAngel Merry Christmas...but watch out, the D&V bug is about...my shiny balls are strong. and have proved bullshit germ resistant so far!

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits a poster after my own heart...I would 'be tempted to say something (sod the consquences) to both'. When you are in good health it's easy to forget the misery that a bug/cold etc brings...when it's your five year old losing fluids with alacrity from both ends and weeping at 4am, it's something else.

Think I'm over it now!..Many thanks for all responses, I sometimes think MN is that little nice angel on my right shoulder...AIBU is the little devil on my left

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dreamingbohemian · 18/12/2011 21:31

But it sounds like you are basing all this on the rushed words of another mum, who could have got the story all wrong for all you know. Unless you know for a fact that another mum knowingly brought her DC to the party knowing they had been sick, I don't think you should say anything.

Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 21:40

saladsandwich DCs bed have training mats on them...and thick mattress protectors on top.This BUG was epic, reminiscent of the Exorcist...DC1 was vomiting into the bed/toilet/everywhere and shooting out uncontrollable streams of liquid poo at the same time. Poor darling.

Who's got the gavel tonight? -

Cheers.

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Original poster

PreviouslyonLost · 18/12/2011 21:49

dreamingbohemian Other Mum was very knowing when I said DC1 had been ill after party...it's a very small place and she was obviously aware of a child being sick prior to party (DH was at home that week and did the school run so I wouldn't have known who was at school or not).

Resolve to quietly ask her tomorrow just who she was referring to.

Many thanks for advice

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