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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to censor pop music?

58 replies

Crabapple99 · 17/12/2011 23:10

I have just seen the thread on 12 rated games, and it started me wondring if I am the only mother who checks all lyrics of pop music in hte charts., about half the songs my DC want, I say no to, due to content about rape, S&M, drugs, etc.
DS wanted "Now thats what I call music 80" for christams, but the staff serving in HMV says they are banned from playing it over the PA system because ofthe content, and when I checked with the guy servin i nthe CD section of the local supermarket, he also said he wouldn't sell it to a child.
It's got 43 songs on it, fo I need to research and check the lyrics of every single one to find out what the specific problem is? or do other MNers know anything about it?
I would like to here your opinios

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/12/2011 23:50

OP said the other week on another thread that they are 10 and 12 I think. She hasnt said otherwise on here when I asked, so I am assuming that was correct as I havent searched to look.

cantspel · 17/12/2011 23:51

You can censor all you like but once they hit senior school you will have no control over the music they listen to. Even if you refuse to buy it from itunes they will still get hold of it either via bluetooth from a friend or a fileshare site.

hiddenhome · 17/12/2011 23:52

10 and 12 is still young to be exposed to explicit content.

What would you say if your 10/12 year old came home and started singing the lyrics in the kitchen? The longer you can put it off, the better.

MudAndGlitter · 17/12/2011 23:52

If they are at an age to be able to discuss it properly then that's different from letting a 3 yr old listen. Although DS has been known to listen to tupac if the iTunes is on shuffle he much prefers queen yet shows no preference for fat bottomed girls.

MudAndGlitter · 17/12/2011 23:54

My mum took me to an eminem concert when I was 12 so perhaps my view will be different from most! I'd much rather they listened to music written by the actual artists than Justin fecking bieber and the like!

hiddenhome · 17/12/2011 23:54

Then sensor their equipment. ds' laptop is controlled by Kaspersky and I check his mobile phone for its content. I'll be checking his ipod as well when he gets it. If there's anything I object to we'll discuss it.

Why are people so fatalistic over their children's lives?

MudAndGlitter · 17/12/2011 23:55

I'm realistic.

hiddenhome · 17/12/2011 23:58

That's a bit defeatist though isn't it? Realistic is okay, but it also implies a sense of giving in or feeling helpless to control anything. Yes, they're exposed to crap at Secondary school but you can still draw the line and try to strive for decency. It's a shame that 'artists' have to resort to obscenity in order to sell their stuff.

hiddenhome · 18/12/2011 00:01

If you actually examine the musicality and ability of today's 'artists' you won't really find much depth or ability any more. They mostly rely on technology to hack their way through a song and hardly any of them play or understand music. They just get naked and spout foul mouthed rubbish Hmm That's not musicianship, that's just pathetic

MudAndGlitter · 18/12/2011 00:01

Possibly although I've always thought that judging when they are at an age to discuss sensitive subjects with is a better object than banning it completely. There's some areas I know I'll have to be brutally honest with them about (not until they're late trend though hopefully!) especially with DD as I wouldn't want her to experience it and she'd need real life examples. That is of course just my opinion, luckily I haven't had any experience of it yet as mine are toddlers and perhaps I'll feel differently once they're older.

MudAndGlitter · 18/12/2011 00:02

I actually do censor their music in one way- I limit the nursery rhymes and play them the Beatles, queen, nirvana and various genres! Personal taste though!

SulkySullenDame · 18/12/2011 00:04

Hidden, I agree. Yes, the world exists outside the family unit, but why that means your standards as a parent must be dictated by the outside world are beyond me.

And great that your Mum took you to Eminem at 12 mudandglitter, but that doesn't mean all parents want their kids to listen to everything and anything.

MudAndGlitter · 18/12/2011 00:06

I did say that perhaps that's why my view differs from some other people's!

squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 00:07

At 10 and 12, even if they hear explicit lyrics, they are old enough to know that it wouldnt be acceptable to sing them in front of their parents.

I knew what swearing was at that age, and was probably at the age where I would be being all big and clever with my friends, but I would never have dared to use that language in front of my parents!!

Over-protecting kids leads to them being ridiculed by their peers. I would imagine almost every 10 year old girl who listens to pop has asked for the NOW cd for xmas. I doubt there will be many who are banned from having it by a parent. I can just imagine the mocking that would take place to a child if she told her friends that she wasnt allowed to listen to it.

Wittsend13 · 18/12/2011 00:07

YANBU> When I was 16 I was playing a rock song and towards the end it goes shut the F* up and my parents made me turn it off and took my tape away :(

I'#m guessing the now xmas CD has fairytale of new york re the faggot/maggot old slut and drunk.. Maybe that's why it's censored?

MudAndGlitter · 18/12/2011 00:10

My dad took all my parental consent CDs away from me when I was 15! It just meant I borrowed my friends. I understand where the OP is coming from but for me when I was younger choosing the music that I wanted to listen to was part of finding my identity (that sounds a bit wanky) and I listened to a lot of rap yet have not yet felt the urge to smack a bitch whilst snorting coke of someone's arse cheek

hiddenhome · 18/12/2011 00:10

Oh, yes, the old 'ridiculed by their peers' argument Sad The ultimate guilt trip eh?

AgentZigzag · 18/12/2011 00:10

DD1 is 11, so if that's the age the OPs DC are it would be unreasonable to go to such lengths to control what they're exposed to.

It's the time between them not knowing all the swears or knowing when it's inappropriate to say them, and understanding them and being able to cope with how shit the world they live in can be, where I felt I was most protective over DD1.

Someone swearing in the street would really fuck me off when she was 6/7, but now she knows them it's just 2 YO DD2 I've got to imagine and worry about going round Tesco shouting 'shit' repetatively at the top of her voice if she hears me accidently saying it Grin

cantspel · 18/12/2011 00:12

Mine are now 14 and 15 so past the age where centership is going to work but then i have never censored music as i would rather discuss something rather than pretending it doesn't exist.

deepandcrispandsevenfold · 18/12/2011 00:13

my ds is 19 and I have never censored what he has listened too, even when he liked Rap(was short lived)
imo you are putting adult feelings into what a 11 year old would just think is a fun song,

hiddenhome · 18/12/2011 00:14

It's corrosive to the soul to listen to some of the lyrics that are out there. It diminishes you just as it diminishes the greedy sod who wrote it. They imagine that they're somehow entitled to unleash their trash on the unwitting hoards of parents out there who are then forced to feel constant pressure to let their kids be exposed to obscenity. I was brought up on Simon & Garfunkel and remember the fuss that was made when Relax was released. Happy days eh?

PeneloPeePitstop · 18/12/2011 00:15

My lot listen to Green Day.
They really don't understand it.

MudAndGlitter · 18/12/2011 00:16

Wow. Seriously, just wow.

squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 00:17

From the age of 10 onwards, there is little else worse than being laughed at by your friends. I was lucky in that my parents were strict in some ways, but relaxed in others, and let me listen to any type of music - usually so long as it was in my bedroom and they didnt have to suffer it..

I spent many years trying (and failing) to convince my classical music loving father that Heavy Rock was far superior to Mozart and Bach. We never agreed.

I also spent many years doing the same with my mother, who loved The Carpenters and Dr Hook..

Arguing with parents about your taste in music is one of the most natural things in the world, and has gone on since Elvis first wiggled his hips and the Beatles smoked spliffs... in fact, look at some of the beatles lyrics if you want to hear about drug use!

SulkySullenDame · 18/12/2011 00:27

Hmmmm. I wouldn't say it is the same as censorship when you are not letting a young child hear things they don't need to hear yet.

My eldest is 14 now and I wouldn't consider censoring her music, although I do discuss it with her when I feel it is misogynistic or promotes a lifestyle I don't agree with. I would absolutely not let a young child hear things they weren't ready for/see films they aren't ready for. My teen went to a sleepover where the mother went out, leaving 4 teenage girls alone and they watched some disgusting films such as the Human Caterpillar. Is this the tolerance you are advocating Squeaky? She will not go back there again, and not only because I don't want her to, but because she hated it.

I really don't understand what's wrong with this - I am a fairly liberal parent. In fact, my house is overrun with teens because (I think) I set boundaries yet give them respect and like their company.