to be ever so slightly p*** off about the professionalization of parenting

[fulllife]

i mean, honestly, i m fresh mum to a 4,5 month old flower but im surprized how ive found myself ploughing through endless childcare manuals, studies about everything from early pregnancy infections to speech development and breast feeding. the amount of infirmation i have digested so far is mind boggling, i think its actually, so far, about half an undergrads degree worth of knowledge. i mean, how did people ever raise kids on intuition ( or intu if u consider it a dirty word)??? not that i would ever have the mental fortitude to willingly shut out all that InFORMATION out there... but surely, this is all just a little bit INSANE...

I never read anything, its all instinct.

i have never read a baby book in my life

if i need any advice i ask people who have been there and done it

Parenting manuals have been around for the past century. It's nothing new.

I find it interesting to read but try not to get hung up on it otherwise I'd not be able to function for fear of doing it wrong!

I looked at a baby book in a shop once,as people kept telling me my son should have been sleeping through. I very quickly put it back, as it was a vile load of shit!
Been intuitionadvice from other parents all the way ever since.

I think it fills the gaps that larger and closer families used to in the past. It doesn't come instinctively in the main- it's about passing on accumulated knowledge really.

Well, some info is useful (laying baby on it's back, for example). Some of it is total shite and is opinion based rather than proven to be better for your child.

It's just a question of filtering out what's useful and what isn't. Not everything you read will relate to you, but sometimes (years down the line) it comes in handy.

There are a lot of crap books out there but there are some that I've found invaluable in helping me to understand how their brains develop and what they're able to comprehend at different stages.

"i mean, how did people ever raise kids on intuition " they never did, they lived in less isolated bubbles so learnt from watching other females in their family group raise their children. If you have no younger siblings and no experience of kids through friends or family you need to outsource, instinct-shminstinct!

Is this a wind up OP?

Sorry, don't believe this.
If it is not wind up then why are you reading stuff if you have such a strong belief it's all bollocks?. Normally, people read books when they need help. Not everyone has intuition, especially with a first child.

I want to know how you gave birth to a flower?

Other than that, I havent a clue what the fuck you are on about..

Nobody needs a book to raise a baby.

Goodness me. Cannot imagine what you're doing on a parenting forum then.

slightly hypocritical as I hide all the parenting stuff

just having a good old moan about the information overload, i think i count about three big general baby care bibles, two books on baby sleeping, three books on baby intelligence , and a book on baby games. plus i have the whole syllable of baby development something by a well meaning baby sitter.

so, it's just me then?

guess im a weirdo

btw, obv my baby is v v intelligent. must be all them books then. didnt work for the sleeping, though...

So do you like parenting books or not?

You gave birth to a flower

Do you mean that you are buying the books because everybody talks about them and you feel you own to?

Try reading novels instead and join a book group!

Oh i haven't had noticed the 'flower'!

Unfortunately 'instint' often just meant raising workers to know their place and not get ideas above their station. Parents looked at how they were parented and made the same mistakes.

Life, educational opportunities and the standard of living/expectation has grown and advice is given, for those that want it. How children were raised was not linked to the sort of adults that they would become, emotional needs were not considered.

As part of my work, i have had to take cources such as Webster stratton, which deals with positive communication. There seemed to be so much negativity around towards children in the 60's and 70's. If the information/research can help to parents to parent better, what's the problem?

You would have to witness very bad parenting and parents who don't play/communicate/appropriately disipline their children, to realise this.

I never read a parenting book and even got kicked out of antinatal classes because I questioned thier teaching too much.

The best advice I was ever given was from other normal mothers not in any nursing or childcare careers. It's advice I still pass on to this day and gets commented on a few years/months down the line by the new parent of what bloody good advice it is.

1. after having said child, pee in the bath, dont bother with the jug and water stuff, it doesnt work. It stops the sting and keeps the area clean.

2. Do NOT turn tv/stereo ect down because of the baby, they will learn to sleep through it and you get the bonus of being able to clean up and use the hoover without waking them

3. trust in yourself, you will know what works and the baby will tell you in it's own way what it prefers.

4)Sleep as much as you can

5. get into a routine and dont break it for as long as possible (every now and again is fine)

Anti-natal classes- they sound interesting. Do they start with a Ten Minute Hate against babies?

If you dont like them, dont read them. Simples!

Some of the advice I pass on to others has been gleaned from by own experience of using techniques I got from parenting books.

Good post Rudolph