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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell school to bugger off

73 replies

Wilfimina · 17/12/2011 12:38

School are throwing their Christmas party on Thursday for the kids which I don't have a problem with. It is in the afternoon after lunch. The thing that irritates me is they have sent notes home to parents asking them to supply the food. In my case this is "sandwiches for 6 hungry children". I think it's insane. The kids lunchtime starts at 12 and they leave at quarter past 3. Surely they don't need 2 meals in that time. Having spoken to several other mums none of them understand it either. Do you have to have food for it to be an authentic party?

So aibu at not understanding or should I tell them yes for this year but not in future as it's crazy?

OP posts:

pinkhebe · 17/12/2011 17:31

with regard to the ww2 party food, I decided not to do spam sandwiches! but sent in the classic ww2 food, cheese straws! i decided that if they had pastry, there is no reason why they couldn't have cheese straws. The addition of parmasan was perhaps taking it a step too far though

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 17/12/2011 17:35

I remember very clearly the Christmas and end of year parties we had in primary school from 1976-1980. I remember what my mum sent in with me. I remember who I sat next to. I remember what I wore to a couple of them.

You are making one hell of a fuss about nothing and yes, coming across as a right misery. You have no idea what your children will remember in years to come. And it's splitting the tiniest of hairs to complain about 2 meals in the space of a few hours. It's no big deal, you've just chosen to make it one.

You've got people's perspectives and you don't like the ones that don't agree with you. Tough luck. Why ask if you don't actually want to know?

EndoplasmicReticulum · 17/12/2011 17:35

I made sandwiches, as instructed, for boys' party on Thursday. They had lunch at 12.30, party at 2.30.

Boy reported "teacher MADE us eat 2 sandwiches before we were allowed any crisps or biscuits, and I wasn't really hungry".

snowball3 · 17/12/2011 17:36

Our PTFA provide the party lunch, sandwiches, crisps, carrots grapes, sausage rolls,mini sausages, cheese and pineapple on sticks, cakes, biscuits, ice cream and jelly all washed down with squash. After that an entertainer, then a visit from Santa and a present. The children just turn up! We are incredibly lucky with all the hard work our PTFA put in for our children, and they are a wonderful bunch of people.

forwantofabetter1 · 17/12/2011 17:37

Not a case of being excessively judgemental. You posted in AIBU and it seems that on the whole people thought you were being unreasonable if you only want people to agree ten don't ask! As for them barely remembering it I still remember the funny little Christmas parties from primary school with great fondness. Of course two meals in 3 hours is excessive but it's a party!

soandsosmummy · 17/12/2011 18:06

Sorry OP YABU. Just make a plate of sandwiches, lay them on a silver platter, garnish them with a sprig of holly,cover them in clingfilm and

Happy Christmas, hope the children have a lovely time at the party

exoticfruits · 17/12/2011 18:12

I loved our primary school parties-I still remember what we did and what we ate now! These days parents seem to have lost the view from a child perspective!

exoticfruits · 17/12/2011 18:13

Sorry-I should have said some parents.

jewelledsky · 17/12/2011 19:14

Blimey. The teachers are organising a Christmas party for the CHILDREN and you post in AIBU under the thread title 'To tell the school to bugger off.' Nice. Just whose benefit do you think this xmas party is for? The knackered teachers? The PTA mums and dads who spend a couple of hours setting it out? If you begrudge making the sandwiches, then simply don't make them. But you are being very unreasonable to tell the school to bugger off. Am glad you are not a parent at my school. I'd rather make the sandwiches for the kids myself than have them made by somebody with such bad grace. Bah humbug to you.

23balloons · 17/12/2011 19:26

YANBU IMO. I had the same thing last week & had a good moan. I was asked to provide ham sandwiches for 10 children (the party was just after lunch) & others got to bring cakes/biscuits etc. I knew the sandwiches wouldn't be touched and ds said nobody ate the sandwiches. I made as few as possible & cut them really small, nothing to do with the cost - I just knew that kids presented with sausages, crisps & other snack foods are not going to eat ham sandwiches.

I have to make 3 packed lunches every night which I hate doing & there was a school carol concert till 9pm the night before so yes I was annoyed at having to add sandwiches for 10 to my nightly chores!!!!!!!!!

DrCoconut · 17/12/2011 19:26

I'm amazed that your schools are asking for party food! Round here you send money and they arrange catering. That way they control the type, ingredients, quantity and source of the food.

exoticfruits · 17/12/2011 19:43

I'm glad that I live in a more relaxed area where people just send in a contribution. I was right in thinking it joyless these days if it all has to be 'controlled'.

MuddlingMackem · 17/12/2011 20:48

Re: Ham Sandwiches. I helped out at dc's school parties and this year the kids were practically fighting over the ham and tuna sandwiches. It was the cheese/egg savoury ones which were left. You just can never tell what's going to be popular. :)

And thankfully their school just asks for a financial contribution and the school sort out the catering. Might be a bit more expensive but much less hassle for parents (rather like my reasons for choosing school dinners over packed lunches ).

zipzap · 17/12/2011 20:53

Wow. I was really surprised when ds1 had a Christmas party at school as I'd never heard of a school Christmas party - certainly never had them when we were at school (late 70s - mid 80s). Now really surprised by the number of schools that have them.

Just asked ds1 what he had at his party for food this year - they just got a carton of juice and a biscuit, paid for by the PTA. He seemed pretty happy with it!

lockets · 17/12/2011 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 17/12/2011 22:38

I was at school before then and we had them. I was also teaching in the 80s and we always had a Christmas Party.

ChickensThinkYouCanGetStuffed · 17/12/2011 23:55

My DC get to decorate a digestive biscuit for their Christmas party. Even they think that sucks arse. They would love to have sandwiches

snuffaluffagus · 18/12/2011 00:46

I'm sorry I just saw the words Beef paste.. urk.. huarrrr. (That's me vomiting.)

Op just do some jam sandwiches or something.

Bunbaker · 18/12/2011 08:59

"I still remember the funny little Christmas parties from primary school with great fondness. Of course two meals in 3 hours is excessive but it's a party!"

So do I. I remember the whole class mixing up a Christmas cake and the teacher must have taken it home to bake. We ate the cake at our party. This was back in the late 1960s. We also used to make fancy place mats our of sheets of paper to use at the party.

I also agree that two meals in 2 hours is a little OTT, but, as has already been pointed out, it is a party.

"I'm glad that I live in a more relaxed area where people just send in a contribution. I was right in thinking it joyless these days if it all has to be 'controlled'."

exoricfruits I suspect this has come about because in the past the class has received nothing but crisps and chocolate and want a bit more variety.

exoticfruits · 18/12/2011 09:34

I think it sensible to ask the parent to send in the specific thing-I was really talking about
Round here you send money and they arrange catering. That way they control the type, ingredients, quantity and source of the food.

I always hate things where you just throw money at it.

I couldn't give a monkeys what the teachers at my DCs schools think of me. They can knock themselves out laughing about me or moaning about me in the staffroom and I really couldn't care less.

Well I could. My DCs are there a long time and I don't want to be the parent they all avoid or who everyone laughs about as in 5 yrs later-'oh, yes, she was the one who made all that fuss over 6 ham sandwiches!'

corblimeymadam · 18/12/2011 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rikalaily · 18/12/2011 10:35

Two meals in 3 hours isn't excessive, kids pack away a huge amount of food... well mine do anyway. I provide food for my ds's school parties, I provide £1 for the girls, in my kids school only KS2 provide the food, the younger ones contribute money and the teachers arrange the food. I don't begrudge anything that we contribute to the school (and we are a low income family) as my children benefit from it whether thats £1 each for wear your own clothes days, contrabuting to school trips, giving unwanted gifts for tombolas etc. I have 3 kids at the school so contributions all add up very quickly, but the kids enjoy themselves and thats what matters to me.

It's a party, the kids get to eat what they want, I just give them a smaller packed lunch to take in and a lighter evening meal, it's not a big deal. It's not like it goes on once a week or month, it's a one off at Christmas, you need to lighten up OP.

lurkinginthebackground · 18/12/2011 10:41

I think it is common practice.
My dcs have always had their lunch and then the party follows afterwards.
Really 6 sandwiches, you have gotten away quite lightly. think yourself lucky you don't have to provide something difficult or expensive to make.

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