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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell school to bugger off

73 replies

Wilfimina · 17/12/2011 12:38

School are throwing their Christmas party on Thursday for the kids which I don't have a problem with. It is in the afternoon after lunch. The thing that irritates me is they have sent notes home to parents asking them to supply the food. In my case this is "sandwiches for 6 hungry children". I think it's insane. The kids lunchtime starts at 12 and they leave at quarter past 3. Surely they don't need 2 meals in that time. Having spoken to several other mums none of them understand it either. Do you have to have food for it to be an authentic party?

So aibu at not understanding or should I tell them yes for this year but not in future as it's crazy?

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 17/12/2011 13:57

So when you go to a party you don't take anything? Not a bottle of drink?

It only takes one or two people to say stuff it and the school won't bother next year.

laptopdancer · 17/12/2011 14:00

Have you seen school lunches??? They are tiny! My ds is STARVING when he gets in from school

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/12/2011 14:04

Dont send them in then if you begrudge the school trying to do something nice for the children but I hope you dont let your child eat food that others have bought in.

insanityscratching · 17/12/2011 14:15

Dd had her "party" this week, there was no food because the teacher felt it wasn't needed so soon after lunch Hmm Dd felt that it wasn't much of a party tbh even though she has the appetite of a mouse and would most likely have nibbled a crisp at most. Six sandwiches isn't much effort tbh.

amerryscot · 17/12/2011 14:17

This thread amuses me in light of all the slagging off that private schools get about not being a 'community'.

What community is the OP in?

exoticfruits · 17/12/2011 14:18

Schools have been doing this for ever-certainly back when I was in primary school they did and we loved it! People get so killjoy about fun! Having been to many a class party they do eat it!
Just do the sandwiches and tell them to eat a small lunch if it bothers you.

Groovee · 17/12/2011 14:53

Our lot eat the party food for lunch instead of a normal lunch!

nativitywreck · 17/12/2011 15:02

squeaky toy, it is not always that easy to nip out to the shops.
Our nearest shop is 25 minutes walk away, and once we have got home from school (2 miles away) no way would I be dragging ds out again to the shop!

If I got a text the day before I would just ignore it tbh.
I get so sick of endless missives and requests for money from school, and have discovered that a lot of them you can just ignore and they will go away.
(And i have one child, God knows how bad it is when you have 3 or 4!)

I would make the sandwiches if I had some notice,though, since it's for the XMas party.

lborolass · 17/12/2011 15:15

Ime lots of food does get eaten at a primary Christmas party (my DCs school does exactly the same as yours).

If you can't afford it I would have a quiet word with the teacher or secretary, I'm sure they would understand.

If you can't be bothered then don't do it but at least recognise that other parents will have sent something to help with the party experience.

I wouldn't complain as the teachers will just think you're a bit miserable Smile

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 17/12/2011 15:16

squeaky - sorry, I wasn't clear enough in my post. It was the evening when she got the text, the kids were in bed, she's a lone parent. She drops the kids at a CM in the morning at 7.30 as it is, no local shops open on the way to the CM. If she hadn't had something suitable in, I would have gone and picked something up for her and taken it around. Her DD's group had to take crisps and her DS's group had to take chocolate biscuits. Well, I say 'had' it was what their group was contributing so that there was a good mix of things. As she's already got loads in for christmas she had both on hand, but not everyone would have had what they'd been asked to bring.

However, several days notice for 6 sandwiches really shouldn't cause this much of a fuss. Half a loaf of cheap white bread and a bit of jam, job done :)

However, I do also understand that it's just one thing after another at times and if money is tight it all gets a bit much :( OP it will all calm down in the New Year.

ImperialBlether · 17/12/2011 15:17

mycatoscar did you really mean, "My classes party was yesterday."?

ImperialBlether · 17/12/2011 15:17

Sorry meant to say, when you've been teaching for ten years?

RosemaryandThyme · 17/12/2011 15:17

It's the final straw isn't it.

In the continual stream of "stuff requested by school", it doesn't matter what they want, you've had enough, its' been a long term and your now ready to hunker down.

Either do nothing (no note to school or anything - a simple and total ignore)

Or go hell for leather in the production of the worlds most memorable sarnies - multi-layered with those flamable sparkler things - allow child to light the match on entrance to playground and waltz across in fizzing sparkliness (gaurnteed they wont ask you for sarnies again next year!)

Feenie · 17/12/2011 15:25

I think it would have been fine to send in a big bag of crisps - why is that not sufficient?

Yes, I had exactly that one memorable year - 26 packets of crisps from a set of parents and Y6 children as miserable as the OP. They weren't very pleased, I can tell you, and expected me to produce sandwiches, buns and biscuits - all of which they'd been allocated to bring. I did not. It was a rubbish party. Grin

Bunbaker · 17/12/2011 15:30

Lighten up. This is perfectly normal. I asssume that your child is in reception so you haven't done the school Christmas party thing before. DD never used to eat much at lunchtime because she never got enough time. It is a party. Do you want your child's teacher to think you are a miserable killjoy?

Your child's school is finishing late. Most of the schools round here finished yesterday.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 17/12/2011 15:45

It does make me laugh on this type of thread when people say "all the teachers will be laughing/moaning about you in the staffroom". Whilst I would send in sandwiches if I was in the OP's position, I couldn't give a monkeys what the teachers at my DCs schools think of me. They can knock themselves out laughing about me or moaning about me in the staffroom and I really couldn't care less.

nativitywreck · 17/12/2011 15:47

Absofuckinglutely Hexangonal.
The teacher's not my teacher! I don't care what she thinks of me!

pinkhebe · 17/12/2011 15:49

Plate of sandwiches is easy, I had to send in ww2 party food for their ww2 party!

DuchessofMalfi · 17/12/2011 15:54

That was more of a challenge, pink - what did you send in?

TheArmadillo · 17/12/2011 16:00

Ds school sends out a note with what you've been allocated to bring - sandwiches being the most complicated thing on there. However I do like that they do it instead of lunch on the basis that 2 meals that close together is silly. Plus what we save on providing lunch that day covers the cost of the party food we send in.

Plus as every kid in the whole school is bringing in food it doesn't matter if a few can't/don't bring anything (or like ds this year forget to take it out their bag Hmm).

forwantofabetter1 · 17/12/2011 17:19

It sounds like your set up might be the same as ours. Kids are split into groups of 6 with each child in the group bringing a designated item for their group so therefore if you are determined to be miserable and not send anything don't just ignore the note as it may mean your child's group has no sarnies. Equally as every other parent almost certainly WILL have sent their contribution in. Aye you ought to keep your child at home SCROOGE !

Original poster
Wilfimina · 17/12/2011 17:22

Ok. First off I said I would do it this year as I realise it's short notice. It says that in my op.

School is not a community. It's not even in the area I live. It's 5 miles away (not through choice it's an allocated one). Although I do make an effort to attend all the functions and stuff that it puts on. I am usually the first person they ask for visits to the library and when they need an extra adult. Of all the people I see there, there is only 1 I see out of school as a friend.

I am actually more upset at the people calling me miserable. I didn't say I wouldn't or that I was banning Christmas and making my children not attend. I just think 2 meals in a 3 hour period is excessive. My kids have already been to 2 Christmas parties out of school already which I didn't begrudge paying for in the slightest. I like them to enjoy themselves however couldn't care less about a school party they are barely going to remember in the grand scheme of things.

Yes if I was attending a party I would take something. I do even if I am just invited for coffee. Contrary to the conclusions most of you seem to have jumped to I'm actually a normal generous person. However unlike most of you my friends aren't excessively judgemental and wouldn't call me a grinch if I didn't the once.

OP posts:
AriesWithBellsOn · 17/12/2011 17:22

Er...don't all schools ask the kids to bring in some food for the Christmas party?

Merry Christmas to you OP.

Original poster
Wilfimina · 17/12/2011 17:25

You know what this s actually my last post as I wanted some other people's perspectives not to be slated and judged as some sort of inferior person. Thank you to the people who gave me normal answers. They were appreciated

OP posts:
FriendofDorothy · 17/12/2011 17:26

Blimey, you are a moaner about nothing aren't you?

Your kids get a party - live with it and and suck it up and make the sandwiches.