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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think primary aged children should not be in asda at 11pm

113 replies

workshy · 16/12/2011 23:37

just got back from asda (working all weekend so thought it would be a good time to pick up some stuff)

and there were at least 3 families in there with children

at that time of night they have trollies and pallets everywhere, and drunk people buying extra wine -why are they taking their children??

2 adults with them so no excuse of them being single parents either
(I'm a single parent ans wouldn't do it anyway!)

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 17/12/2011 00:21

ITs the main reason we are no longer friends Hidden

Afaik, things havent really improved. The dd is now a fully grown adult and no further on than when she was 16 :( Real shame as she was a talented and really lovely girl the last time I saw her about ten years ago.

mrswoz · 17/12/2011 00:22

Nothing to do with anyone else really how late people keep their children up/out shopping/visiting people whatever. My DC have only been in bed an hour and a half, (we have been making Christmas decorations and robots and I totally lost track of time!) and as someone above pointed out, I will have a damn fine 9am wake up tomorrow I'm sure Grin. My DC are used to occasional late nights though, and have been since birth.

However I would privately be a bit judgey if I saw this on a school night, and I really do not like to see small children out walking around/in pushchairs on the street in the dark evenings. It seems somehow less irresponsible when they have obviously arrived by car (I don't know why!) and I'm sure that is a more common sight to someone who lives in a city, I live in a rural area so definitely not so common.

We don't know the parents' circumstances - maybe one of the children has a birthday this weekend and they wanted to come and help choose the party food, or the children were choosing Christmas presents for their friends and the parents haven't been able to take them to Asda because they've been at work all week, or maybe only Dad drives and Mum is the one who needs to choose and pay for the shopping, you just never know, and anything is possible?

IMHO if the whole family are in Asda together at 11pm on a Friday night then at least the parents are with their children and are sober, which is more than we can say for some! There are worse things to be doing than this.

Xmas Wink
cory · 17/12/2011 00:22

I hope you never visit Spain, OP or hiddenhome; the sight of all those chaotic parents would sadden you.

As for me, I come from the other end of Europe, but I have been known to take dcs out for a midnight swim in the sea. (though not, I hasten to add, at this time of year)

And what's this about dragging them out in the middle of winter? Hardly likely to get hypothermia walking from the carpark are they?

Bogeyface · 17/12/2011 00:24

if the whole family are in Asda together at 11pm on a Friday night then at least the parents are with their children and are sober, which is more than we can say for some

Very good point!

RomanChristingle · 17/12/2011 00:29

If they have a 24 hr pharmacy that could be a pretty good reason for kids to be in there late at night. DH had to stop of with dd around midnight the other week on the way back from an emergency trip to the hospital to pick up inhalers for her. I assume that's ok?

redpanda13 · 17/12/2011 00:33

Can you buy wine in a supermarket in England at 11pm? Here in Scotland it is 10pm.
Anyway it is the weekend and there are far, far worse places to take a child than a supermarket.

Bogeyface · 17/12/2011 00:34

24 hours if they have a license red

redpanda13 · 17/12/2011 00:36

I shall have to move. Nothing worse than doing the emergency dash at 9.55pm when I come off a back shift!

startail · 17/12/2011 00:42

It's possible she was ill I suppose. It was the slippers I couldn't understand it was wet and nasty, surely it only takes a moment to on shoes or boots.
Mind you I have walked DD2 through town with no shoes at allBlush. She'd had them on two minutes before I strapped her in the car. She was big enough to climb in her seat, I didn't notice.
She went to the dentist with bate feet and was marched straight to Woolworths for cheap beach shoes. We had a lot to do and I was not risking a fine for messing the dentist around.

RomanChristingle · 17/12/2011 00:45

More likely she was ill then imo. DD was in her pj's when dh took her as the out of hours said to take her in immediately.

Get0rf · 17/12/2011 00:49

Ah, who knows. They could have broken up from school today, gone out to do something fun, and doing some shopping at a reasi=onably quiet time whilst they were out (let's face it, all supermarkets are going to be hellish and manic in the daytime until Christmas).

I personally wouldn't go to my local Asda on a Friday night (it is in the city centre, and full of drunkards) but you can't just judge on one episode of shopping. Honestly.

perplexedpirate · 17/12/2011 00:58

What if both the parents worked full time? What it they'd been saving up for asda vouchers all year? What if they'd promised the kids that they could come on the big Christmas shop to buy all the food and presents? What if that was the only time they all had together to do it?
Would that make it ok?

PumpkinBones · 17/12/2011 01:53

I love how all the judginess is reserved for the family out shopping, not the pissheads rampaging through Asda Grin

tigerlillyd02 · 17/12/2011 07:20

I nearly always do my shopping late with DS. He just turned 2, not school aged, although that'd make no difference to me, especially on a Friday night!

I cbb with all the rush and queues and prefer to get in and out of there asap. I hate online food shopping.

You can shoot me but next week we're going after midnight to do the Christmas shop - although I do expect it to be relatively busy, hopefully not half as bad as during the day Grin

And as for extra trolleys and pallets everywhere - health and safety springs to mind. Your store would be closed down if it's that much of a danger to the public. And drunk people? I've never come across one when shopping. And I would think we have more chance of bumping into a complete idiot when the store is packed out with people rather than when it's mostly empty. It's a bit like saying don't take children in the day when the car park is packed because they've more chance of getting run over. Get a grip!

sitandnatter · 17/12/2011 07:29

I'm never short on being surprised at the nonsense people worry about in other peoples' lives

shemademedoit · 17/12/2011 07:41

Can you buy booze after 10pm?

1Catherine1 · 17/12/2011 07:44

fine imo - not as if it was a school night...

sitandnatter · 17/12/2011 07:49

There's a lot to be said for it, it's quieter, avoid the crowds, kids get less stressed. I guess we can always lock the kids up and not teach them how to behave in supermarkets.

dawntigga · 17/12/2011 07:52

You don't know why they are there, they could have just returned from a trip/hospital visit/emergency of some kind.

FFS

HopesYouNeverNeedToDoThisAsYouKNOWPeopleWillBeJudgingTiggaxx

MamaMaiasaura · 17/12/2011 07:59

There was an article in NBC re sleep and kids and how it affects them. I will try to find it Today inbetween looking after kids and Xmas shopping. Iirc it says have late nights on weekend is like subjecting them to jet lag and has has affect on behaviour, concentration etc as does perpetual late nights. They need 10 hours iirc each night. And by altering bedtime by a considerable amount each weekend affects them. One offs are manageable tho. No comment on the family in adds as may have been a one off. But those who do it regularly aren't really thinking of child imvho but of themselves

MamaMaiasaura · 17/12/2011 07:59

Bbc not NBC

gabid · 17/12/2011 08:01

People have different routines.

Mine (6 and 3) are in bed by 7.30 and DS (6) is allowed to look at books after that for a while, longer at weekends. I wouldn't dream of taking them shopping at that time - but mine are up by 6 am.

A friend and their DS stay up quite late weekends and holidays, especially in the summer they do more in the evenings. That's fine, they sleep later though.

One of DS's friends watches TV with his dad until midnight (they appear to watch a lot of TV), which I don't approve of - and yes, I do judge them.

I think if you don't know the circumstances it's hard to say whether it is OK or not.

gabid · 17/12/2011 08:06

Awen - well, parents who allow their children late nights at weekends may not have come across that article or research (neither have I, but I find it very interesting) and think they do the best for their children.

So, the regular bedtime will be something I won't change then with my DC, as DS (6) does seem to have problems concentrating in maths and literacy.

zest01 · 17/12/2011 08:17

yabu - you don't know why they were there. It may be a one off - my kids are usually in bed at a decent time but there have been odd occasions when we have nipped in to the 24 supermarket on the way back from a family party to do a shop - it's late, the kids have eaten loads of sugar and are bouncing off the walls and you can be round and done in no time.

If I stuck religiously to my kids bedtimes then they would miss out on other things like family parties on NYE where they have a fab time with cousins or visits to London to see it all lit up at night with the xmas lights which does mean a late night.

I think these things are part of the fabric of life and nice for children - never letting them have a late night because of a study you have read about is just as damaging imo but each to their own. Live and let live, so yes yabu and very judgemental.

lljkk · 17/12/2011 08:19

What Dawntigga said.
I imagine jet lag, adults with SN who can't be left alone or in charge of the kids, people just back from trips, all sorts.