to feel urge to strangle head with his elf and safety rules

[liveinazoo]

the school my children attend has a new head started in september.he drives me MAD with the way he treats us parents as utter idiots.prime example has been the xmas party-all food has to be in original wrappings from shops complete with ingredient lists and best before dates.as a mother of a child with epi pens i feel this is sooo over the top as even the pizzas have to be sent in unopened to be cooked on the premises.gone are the days when mums could bring in a jelly or make fun cakes/biscuits and we drown in a sea of shop bought beigeness.what happened to common sense?

I dunno but I just sent my DS9 with a multi pack of kitkats and some jam tarts

The teacher and TA sort them on to plates and they know who can't eat what

YABU, party rings aren't beige if you put them the right side up.

Seriously though, YANBU, half the fun of these things is seeing all the different stuff other people have made.

ooh chulita.party rings

Unfortunately, what happened to common sense is a some parents don't have it.

Wonderful contributions I have had for Christmas parties include

• A jar of jam with a spoonfull removes (Complete with layer of butter. Who uses a SPOON for butter?

• Mouldy cakes

• A bag of prawn crackers, like the one's that you get from the Chinese, which were soft and mushy

• A tub of ice cream. Lovely you think, only the child left it on their peg until the afternoon of the party

delicious.glad sense runs through the veins my kids classmates parents more efficiently than that!

had to chuckle at the bag of free, soggy prawn crackers. I suppose it's all in what people think is acceptable. I've got a jelly christmas tree wibbling in the fridge and am seriously debating taking it to our party tomorrow, we've not got through the leftovers after cutting all the shapes out yet!

Surely that IS common sense though so children with allergies can join in? I always ask to see the labels on things so does my ds as he's allergic to nuts and also carries an epi pen. what would you rather they do?

Make a cake and write ingredient list?

Yes, that's what we have to do at ds's school naialk

YANBU. It's absurd. If children are hugely allergic then they need to bring their own party lunchbox and that mother is exempt form contributing to the party. Our teachers at primary used to provide a list outside the classroom and we would tick off what we were bringing, ie, 10 fairy cakes, 6 packets crisps, jammy dodgers, 15 cocktail sausages, 10 mini sandwiches, mild cheese and pineapple skewers, etc., etc..

Am I missing the point spectacularly?

Is it really so hard to send in food with its label still on?

OP how does your child check food ingredients if not on a label?

I disagree that kids with known allergies should be excluded married They're not lepers.

I do however get pee'd off when nut products are banned just "because".

Aww lovely idea "you have allergies so you can't join in with the party in the same way as others" how kind!!

I dont see why the school wanting to control what comes to a party like this is a problem. If they were expecting every parent to home bake then I could see the issue.

I made cakes for Ds to take to nursey for his birthday but only when I knew doing so wouldn't lead to any children with allergies being excluded.

OP you are the first parent with a seriously allergic child ( I am assuming seriously allergic as you said they have an epi pen) ever to complain about labels being available!!

I would imagine it's not just about allergies but food-handling too; the records needed to be kept by the kitchen for the FSA/Environmental health could easily dictate that food to be cooked and served to the children must be trackable/traceable to source and evi kept that use-by dates observed etc

now I understand why our school class teacher asked every Nursery child to bring in their own food for the Christmas party and were not allowed to share with each other. so much easier, but not as much fun...

I am standing my ground over this. I am the mother who once had a child arrive at a party and the mother say before she literally ran off to escape "he's allergic to nuts, wheat and dairy, just make sure he has some fruit and take the ham out of his sandwiches - oh and if he eats something he shouldn't his epi pen is in his rucksack" . If people's children are so allergic they need a special diet and if they are too young to discriminate they need to be provided with a separate lunch box or party plate provided by the parent.

No host should have to be responsible for what such a child eats unless they are notified in advance and can prepare something different, or arrange for the child to be supervised at the table. If the mother doesn't notify in advance, then she needs to stay and to supervise.

Why should all the other children be excluded from party treats because one child has serious allergies? I'm all for sensitivity but there has to be some common sense and practicality thrown in too.

married dsis had that happen last week - the child in question was 4!

Why are the other children being exculded though? They can still have food at the party.

I can understand you taking issue with that particular mum but thats not how it is in the vast majority of cases of children with allergies. She should have spoken to you well in advance of the party and discussed the issues with you. Thats one stupid mum and your basing your judgement on that?

If it was your child would you want them to be segregated from the others because of allergy? Or would you be happy that the school were being sensible and making sure they know what is coming is so they can advice the children with allergies appropriatly as to what they should avoid?

We're not talking about a 'party host' in the OP. We're talking about a school environment in which a parent has a legal duty to send their child and the school has a legal duty to protect their safety where practicable.

I would not expect 29 other children to have to modify their diet and their party food because my child had an allergy. I would expect to be supporting my child to accept that they could not eat what everyone else ate and to learn to make sensible choices. I think this is something that would be more difficult for the allergic child if everything around them was safe. The child needs to understand their diet must be different and why.

But they aren't saying other children have to modify their diets, nor are they saying everything has to be safe. All they want is to know what is in products why is that a hardship really?? I am missing the big issue here.

As PP said, a lot will also come down to food hygiene regulations.

At DD's school they had lists of food outside each class where you sign next to what you will provide. Stuff like carrot sticks, napkins etc.

I chose plastic cups as they were cheap and I could send them in advance :o

Its not the school - it's the fear of being sued.

Great comment on the radio today though about snow and last year all but one school in Birmingham being closed due to two inches of snow. The one school that was (partially) open, was open to collect the children who were off to a ski trip in the Alps. So clearly, 2 inches of snow on a school playground is sooooooooooooooooo much more dangerous than 7 foot of the stuff whilst hurtling down a mountain.

interesting arguements guys.my eldest dd (near 17) used to take her own party food as 10 years ago schools didnt accomodate anything.i always sent lots fun homemeade treats and half the class got quite huffy her lunch was better than theres.i believe in balance and would rather provide for my own kids than have such a pussy footed approach to something that is,after all,meant to be a lovely treat!