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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

and tight about my Xmas food shopping?

82 replies

Bogeyface · 14/12/2011 21:06

I was called stingy today!

My total food delivery for the Xmas, including dinner for 12 and 8 bottles of wine, comes to less than £150. That includes "normal" food for my family of 8 for 4 days. Her exact words were "OMG how stingy, Merry Xmas Ebeneezer!"

My "friend", well, friend of a friend really, kindly informed me that she was spending over half that just on the turkey and that if she only spent what I am spending then it would be "total crap".

Thanks for that.

We dont have masses of money
I wont go into debt for the sake of one day
Our meal will be huge, lots of lovely leftovers for boxing day and taste delicious. It is all homemade from scratch, including stuffing, pigs in blakets etc and the pudding (homemade mincemeat icecream). It will have all of the trimmings, a nice big tea and plenty to drink. I have just managed over the years to get my shopping bill for a good healthy diet, down to the bare minimum. Our weekly shopping bill is never over £80 and tbh I have heart failure if my main shop is over £60! I top up for milk bread etc at the corner shop.

So does it really matter what it cost? And we are having chicken after a family vote 2 years ago where we all agreed we dont really like turkey anyway :o

OP posts:

hub8allthemincepies · 14/12/2011 21:27

YADNBU i think it's extraordinary when people spend huge amounts of money on JUST ONE DAY my shopping bill next week won't be over £70 and i'm doing dinner for 6, and it'll include the basics for the week too. We won't do without and we'll have a couple of special items. We're not big drinkers so dh is happy with a bottle of beer and i'll have a 1 glass bottle of red. It will still be lovely not matter how much you spend. It's the time and effort surrounded by people you love

ParkerRocks · 14/12/2011 21:33

I think your Christmas dinner sounds lovely! Like you I make everything from scratch, and as we are not big drinkers I don't intend to spend more than £100. That will be all our food from Xmas eve until the 28th! It is just one meal after all! With regards to presents I think people can get carried away and the more you buy, the more the kids expect. It almost seems to me, from chats in the playground, it's as if there is competition on who has spent the most! I don't get involved as for me that's not what Christmas is about! Enjoy your lovely dinner!

redpanda13 · 14/12/2011 21:35

She sounds jealous. Think your DH has hit the nail on the head with his comment. We are spending a bit more than normal as we have got a goose this year. The rest though will not be that expensive. No more than a normal Sunday roast. There will be enough food and drink for 7 of us and the dog. No way will it come to over £150!
Actually we are not spending very much at all as I got £100 of M&S vouchers for signing up for car insurance. Totally forgot I was due them as I got the insurance in April. Then through my door they came at the start of December. Totally unexpected and I ordered the goose because of them. I always fancied trying it. I will feel all Dickensian and everyone will think I spent a fortune

Dee03 · 14/12/2011 21:37

I will do a normal weekly food shop plus a few extra treats....I can only afford £150, that's for me and 3 ds and it will last 7 days!

redpanda13 · 14/12/2011 21:37

Oh and don't get me started on the shoppers going mad and buying in bulk. Forty loaves and a gallon of milk. The shops are only shut for one day! All the supermarkets will be open again on Boxing Day. Half the food must get thrown away.

gemma4d · 14/12/2011 21:38

Bet your Christmas is better than hers.

And I bet your kids have a great day with loads of presents and food.

You don't need anything else. Especially the credit card bills in January!

pigletmania · 14/12/2011 21:40

yours sound lush, she is an idiot and foolish to get into debt over Christmas, she will be the one reaping what she sows come Janruary.

boaty · 14/12/2011 21:46

I have a budget of £100 for presents (DH, 3DC who are early 20s and closest friends family) and £50 for food and drink! Its ONE day, how much can people get through! So do I qualify as a stingy Ebenezor? Have a and enjoy it!

MissMogwi · 14/12/2011 21:50

YANBU she sounds like a silly mare.

I won't be spending nearly as much but our Christmas dinner will be lovely because I'm making it . Its just a fancy roast really.

There's far too much pressure to spend on gifts and food for basically one day!

Original poster

Bogeyface · 14/12/2011 21:51

ooh red how lovely getting those vouchers. I would have been beside myself! Goose fat makes gorgeous yorkshires btw!

thanks all, I dont know why it got to me. As I said to Worra, normally I laugh this stuff off, but for some reason it upset me a bit.

But you are all right, as usual, and I am being a silly cow.

Thank you :)

OP posts:

Adversecamber · 14/12/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumeeee · 14/12/2011 21:51

YANBU. when our children were younger we didn't spend loads on Christmas food and we still loved everything about Christmas, We now go out for Christmas dinner so that does cost a bit, But they are grown up now, We also didn't and still don't spend loads on a main present,

Sarraburd · 14/12/2011 21:52

She is obviously a silly cow. Ignore her (and maybe prune her a bit too, if that's the kind of 'friend' she is?? Life's tough enough without friends being like this!)

I always remember spending Christmas with my spoilt cousin and him screaming blue murder that we were still opening presents when he'd opened all his - he'd had three times as many, but we'd spaced ours out. My aunt went and got him more presents from the generic present cupboard (you know; the one for other kids' birthdays etc) We enjoyed Christmas; he didn't. Bet yours love it.

Overtiredmum · 14/12/2011 21:52

I will be spending, in total, around £200 next week, but thats for my normal week shop, plus I am doing dinner on Christmas Day for 6 people and Boxing Day for 7 people, have friends over on the day after that, and will include our drinks for Christmas and New Year, and with a £30 turkey from the butcher. I am pleased with that since our normal weekly shop can be anything between £80 to £100 alone.

Christmas is about spending time with loved ones, not how much you can spend.

kandinskysgirl · 14/12/2011 21:52

If you go to the website, 'cheap family recipes' they have a week of festive meals including the tradition roast dinner for £25 for a family of four. Now if it can be done that cheaply (albeit with some cutbacks) then yours seems positively frivolous!!!!

kandinskysgirl · 14/12/2011 21:54

And in regards to the above website, I have lived off it for months and it is yummy, so I think your DH comment of you being a fab cook is right. It's the cooking that is good...not the crazy ingredients.

Original poster

Bogeyface · 14/12/2011 21:57

I should perhaps add, not dripfeeding but it only occured to me a minute ago, that this is the same woman who always calls me mad for having 6 kids. She has always made a big deal out of it, embarrassing me and herself on several occasions, but she confided to our mutual friend that she would love more (she has 2) but her DH says they cant afford it. Perhaps seeing me afford it on a much lower income is difficult for her.

The more I think about it, I am actually feeling quite sorry for her :(

Her DH is a bit of a money obsessed "appearances" kind of bloke.

OP posts:

busymum34 · 14/12/2011 21:59

I would just feel smug that I was spending lots less than her and still having a fab time!
Merry Christmas!

FabbyChic · 14/12/2011 21:59

Christmas is costing me £40 more than a normal shop, most of that is on boxes of biscuits, after eight mints, quailty street, me and the kids will eat a roast irrespective but with pigs in blankets as an addition.

Its only another day after all.

We don't drink here, I hate wine.

NotJustForClassic · 14/12/2011 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bogeyface · 14/12/2011 21:59

Are you Harry Potter Sarra?! Reminds me of the bit on Dudleys birthday where they promise to buy him 2 more presents as he didnt have as many as last year!

Kandinksy its only that much because of the vino, we usually have a very boozy boxing day!

OP posts:

nursenic · 14/12/2011 22:02

Bogeyface

I always say that unsolicited criticism such as you got always says more about the critical person than it does about you. Step aside from your emotional response so as to gain insight into the motives of your 'friend'-why she seems to want to pull you down....

And good on you for saving money!

skybluepearl · 14/12/2011 22:03

I hate the way christmas ends up being about how much people spend! it's really sad and misses the meaning of xmas. your food sounds very lovely by the way but i agree that you don't need much to make xmas special.

Spuddybean · 14/12/2011 22:11

I'm with you on this - i was just watching that scrimpers thinking who are these people who spend that on a roast dinner?!

I think the over indulgence is awful. This will be the 1st xmas DP and i will have together just the 2 of us. I will spend a bit on an organic 3 bird roast from the butchers. But other than that all our food will be the same.

DP did say something about the full english breakfast on xmas day and i told him he must be joking! (not only would i be lumbered with the washing up - see other posts today! But i would never eat a massive dinner later.)

I feel a bit scroogey as my approach to food compared to his parents is so different. His mum buys loads of cheap meat from iceland (cook from frozen stuff) then cooks it all and chucks it away because 'it tastes like plastic'!

I would rather buy one thing which was nice and enjoy it. Also the first xmas we were together we went to his parents and she brought his dinner out on a serving platter and put it in front of him to eat off (i thought it was the meat for the 4 of us) - it had a huge steak, half a roast chicken and gammon on it - i almost vomitted.

or am i just a moany old bastard!?

fatlazymummy · 14/12/2011 22:23

spuddybean you're not being moany at all, and neither are you bogeyface. It would honestly make me feel sick to see that much food on anyone's plate, let alone mine. I have priced up my Christmas dinner, it will come to approx £11 for 4 of us, we will all have a nice dinner with enough on the plate. I just don't understand why people feel the need to dish up 3 or 4 times the amount of food they would normally eat, just because it is Christmas Day. How much food will be wasted around the country I wonder?

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