Sorry, a wanky Facebook wibu

[BuntyCollocksHasBigBaubles]

I'm hoping I'm not too recognisable in this scenario if the parties in question mn as well, but I need some outside opinions.

Myself and the aggrieved party's (ap for future ref) close friend (cf for future ref) have been chatting on facebook about cf's pregnancy. At the moment, cf is the 5th pregnant woman I know. I posted a comment on a status of hers reminiscing how lovely it is to feel those little kicks and rolls.

I also posted my own status saying how happy I was for all the women I know who are currently pregnant, that I wish I was, too, as babies are great and I love my ds.

AP is having problems getting pregnant. This is not a recent discovery, and they are on ivf waiting list, thankfully going to hear about a first round very soon I hope - great news.

She is very upset about the conversations cf and I have regarding our children/babies/being pregnant. AP's husband posted a fb status which I know now relates to cf and I along the lines of 'people are insensitive and wrapped up in their own worlds'. He called my husband, and cf, to tell us both to stop posting anything along those lines on fb.

AP seems to have deleted fb as of today.

I feel AWFUL. I would never knowingly hurt someone, and I'm sure rationally AP and her husband know that, but was I being unreasonable having those conversations and posting that status?

Obviously going to be far more careful now in case I offend her DH who is still on fb (honestly, fb is the work of the devil and causes so much drama: we're all kicking 30 for gods sake).

We'll have to disagree op. I think the conversation (which I can see the first few comments of if it is 2 mutual friends without clicking on anything) plus the gushing status update was a bit much considering you know what your friend is going through. Your friend obviously does too. I'm not saying you should ignore the other friends pregnancy but the public conversation plus the status update could come across as insensitive imo - and obviously has in this case.

I'd be really angry if someone phoned my husband, to tell me what I can and can not post on fb. Seems to me that if AP's dh had something to say, then he ought to have said it directly to you, not your husband. I think his own fb comment was snide and unnecessary too.

It's horrible to want a baby and be unable to have one, but the world doesn't revolve around AP and her dh. They know that their friends are pg and therefore likely to post status updates on fb. If they didn't want to hear it, then they ought to have withdrawn from fb. Having a go at other people for celebrating the joyous events in their lives is not on. Never mind sending a card, I'd be sending a big fuck off to the husband. I'd also be tempted to ask him, if, when his wife does get pg, will they be mentioning it publicly at all, or will they be keeping all details to themselves on the grounds that someone, somewhere will be struggling to conceive.

Not your fault, I have lots of pg friends at the mo, some due around the same time as me but I lost the baby at 20 weeks. Yes it can be upsetting to read about others pregnancies continuing when mine hasn't , but their excited about their pg/children and so they should be, I'd be doing the same if still pregnant

YANBU its a bit pot/kettle the DP slagging off other people for being wrapped up in their own world. Yes infertility must be devastating but you can't think that you will be first on everyone's priorities about what they put on facebook. People have lost their parents, so using that logic it would be cruel of me to say on FB that i had a lovely day with my dad or my mum is doing my head in. You can be upset but there is no way than you could think that the poster did just to hurt you. FFS no one would put anything on FB if everyone thought that way.

Really if you knew a friend on your Facebook was struggling to conceive and upset about it you would put up a status saying how happy you are for all your friends who are currently pregnant? It's a really odd status to put anyway imo.
I don't think her husband should have called yours but to be honest if a friend put something like that on their fb after I'd confided I was struggling with infertility I'd hide their statuses and back away from the friendship.