To go home and rip up our Christmas card from SiL?

[WiiWishYouAMerryChristmas]

I know IABU but I want to venttttt!

DP & I have always had a somewhat rocky relationship with SiL, she's fairly needy, very immature and treats PiL's like crap hense DP's rows with her that I then get dragged into. We try to maintain a civil relationship for PiL's sakes and try to hold out an olive branch when we can. We sent her & her Boyfriend Christmas presents after previously agreeing a limit as she wanted to spend more on DS, her Nephew, who she's only seen once, but seems to love playing the darling Auntie card to anyone who will listen. She lives fairly close, has 3 days off per week, drives and isn't skint so there isn't really any real excuse other than she can't be arsed.

Anyway, we bought her and her BF a lovely card with Sister and BiL on, to show that we acknowledge he is part of the family and hold out aforementioned olive branch. From her, everyone but us has a 'special' card IYSWIM, we have a crappy 2" square generic one. Why do I bloody bother?

I probably won't rip it up, I just want to vent and maybe shout a little bit.

bloody hell ,so many threads about people sending the wrong sort of cards just lately

YABU who gives a toss

Great! Another thing to worry about now thanks to mn : the size of the cards.

And i never send personilised ones because i find them childish (sorry), i must have offended many peple then. Mn makes me paranoid.

Size doesn't matter OP.

People are lucky if I remember to send them a card tbh , I found a load in an old handbag that I never even gave out last year.

I might reuse them this year

a crappy 2'' one.

It is a card, not a penis.

HaHa usual....i do that.

And i definately use them..(it can't be re useing if they never got sent the first time!)

If i remember.

There's nothing quite like Christmas to bring out the best in people, eh?

Seriously? You're sulking about a Christmas card? Grow up!

WiiWish I really don think you're actually BU, as you know your SIL, and you know the little things she does that wind you up. But in general, of course YABU. lol

My SIL knows exactly what she's doing every step of the way and these little things are targeted and intended to gently show that you're disliked. Yet because these instances are so very small, and so very petty in the grand scheme of things, if you mention them, you'll look VVU and slightly unhinged... that is exactly what she wants. See? Now I sound ever so slightly paranoid and petty...

You're not the poster from yesterday who was threatening to rip up her grandmother's card over the way she signed it are you?

I may be stating the obvious here. But.

It's. A. Card.

Personalised cards here for GP, Taid, Grannie and 1 Auntie, Got sick of paying £2.50 for each card in Hallmark last couple of years - found really CHEAP ones on Feebay this year :D

YABU to expect one this year. Hopefully they may remember next year. I speak from experience!

Thanks for the 'grow up' and the 'stupid' remarks, they are neither helpful, appreciated nor necessary. If you'd read the thread properly you'd know I said I know full well IABU but it is yet another barbed statement from her in a long line of pathetic incidences which I just wanted to vent about. Mumsnet seems to be full of nasty people just waiting for someone to throw their shitty remarks at these days, does it really make you feel better!?

As I've said many times on this thread, it wasn't the size issue, I stated the size to explain that our card was a cheap one from a cheap box of mini cards, everyone else's were individual cards. But anyway, I'm over it. It's up and I seriously don't care. Next year she'll get a crappy impersonal one too, no skin off our noses and one less nice card to buy.

Cubbie I hope you are okay, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin.

WiiWishYou

Thanks for your kind words, that was nice of you. (I am fine, thanks, just bracing myself for the funeral as I've been asked to do a reading. Will need a shedload of betablockers to get through that, I think.)

I agree with you, there is no need for anyone to say such nasty things, even if they disagree. You made it quite clear that you YWBU, but sometimes we all have to vent a little. Yes, ok, it's AIBU, so people are free to express an opinion, but I was always taught to do so politely. You can tell someone they ABU without being so unpleasant.

Anyway, I'm not trying to start the whole thing up again as I think you and plenty of mn'ers have made their opinions clear. I just wanted to show you a bit of support as I still agree with you and I still think these kind of cards are nice. BUT, those who think they are naff etc, well, that's fine, too. They are perfectly entitled to their opinion.

If there has been a history of nastiness from someone, well, it then doesn't take much to tip you over the edge, so to speak. I think we can also feel a bit more sensitive at Christmas as well, probably 'cos we're more tired, got loads to do etc.

My Dh used to be great at sending me lovely cards,To My Wife etc. He no longer works near any card shops now so it's harder. I've actually bought my own Valentine, Mother's Day and Anniversary cards a couple of times haha!!! And I probably spent less than he would have !!!!

A few years ago, I'd have hit the roof if he hadn't got me a special card, but with 2 lively wee boys now, we're both on the verge of a nervous breakdown haha! (well, not realyy, but you know what I mean.) And so, these things don't bother me so much as we've had so many disasters in the last few years, including a couple of emergency admissions to hosp with my older Ds, and a bad accident with my younger DS, fine now but still a fearless daredevil.

The other day, DH said, something bad happened on the way home. What, wondered I. Turns out someone drove into the back of his car. I just shrugged, oh well, so what? Nobody was hurt. We've had worse.

As usual, this has turned into a ramble! Sorry!! I haven't even been drinking wine or anything! Just can't stop yakking haha! I really need to get off this site and get some Christmas presents organised, i'm supposed to be reserving stuff on Argos!
Night, and be sure to send her a cheap crappy card next year, made of the thinnest card you can find, preferably with a 'photo of a snow scene or something on it. I always hated them! (bet you someone will turn round and say they love those "real-life" cards!!)

YABU, but then you have already acknowledged that you are. A Christmas card is a Christmas card, it still carries the same sentiment whether or not it is personalized....

Oh crap! I've just received our Christmas Cards from my folks (my oldest brother still lives at home)... There were 6 lovely cards altogether in the one package (to save postage - we live overseas.) One was for DH & I from my parents, one was for us from my brother, there was one for each of our 2 DSs from my parents and one for each of them from my brother.

I'd sent one (far less impressive) card addressed to the three of them......

grow up!

I would be like your SIL-I hate the personalised cards so I would have just sent a general one from a pack. It is sending the same good wishes. I can't see the problem.

In my first proper relationship (we'd been together 8 yrs at the time), his Grandma one Xmas sent a card "To Paul & Dog" Yes my ex and our boxer - I wasn't even mentioned. I had the IL's from hell, so I can see why the OP took the shitty card as a sign/dig. So because of my experience YANBU.

Don't rip it up - frame it!!!

xxx