Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To be offended that the church would not put my son into the nativity because he has a language disorder

45 replies

pingu2209 · 14/12/2011 14:19

Pretty much says it all in the title. My 8 year old has a language disorder - we go to church regularly but the person running this year's Christmas Eve nativity won't put my son into the nativity because he would 'struggle' to do it.

I hasten to add that his friend who has Asbergers is a King and all the parts are non speaking.

I am really offended by their attitude.

OP posts:

blackeyedsanta · 14/12/2011 14:26

yanbu. can't think of much else to add really without ranting.

AnotherMincepie · 14/12/2011 14:27

I am really shocked by that, I've never heard of this at a church before. Most churches I'm sure would have a far more inclusive attitude! Have you told the vicar - what does he/she think?

nailak · 14/12/2011 14:27

yanbu

AMumInScotland · 14/12/2011 14:29

YANBU. Does the person running it know your son? If I'm being charitable, I'd guess that he/she only knows that your son has a problem and doesn't understand what he can and can't manage. Maybe if you speak to him/her and explain it only affects his speech so he's fine to take part?

helpmabob · 14/12/2011 14:31

Canb you complain to the church's superiors? This is surely contrary to christian doctrine. Absolutely disgusting. As they preach the kindness of Jesus, they then do this. Hypocrisy in action

minciepie · 14/12/2011 14:31

YANBU. surely there must be more to it? if there isn't then that is shocking.

Cherriesarelovely · 14/12/2011 14:33

that is absolutely horrible, definitely complain.

shinyrobot · 14/12/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/12/2011 14:34

If all the parts are non-speaking, why does a language disorder matter at all? Does he have issues understanding rather than speaking, I suppose that might make it more of a challenge for the organisers - but one they should be able to cope with.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/12/2011 14:35

YANBU.

Even if its something like tourettes wher they might be concerned if he swore in the play (I'm not saying it is this, just trying to think of something quite "serious"), you would think that other parents/church goers would be able to make allowances for someone with a disorder.

timetoask · 14/12/2011 14:38

I would be very upset indeed.
My ds has severe language difficulties (and several other issues) and he has been included every year (now in year 2) in the Christmas play alongside the other mainstream children.
I would have thought the church should be even more keen to be inclusive and to make every child feel important. Shame on them.

BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers · 14/12/2011 14:38

YANBU! At all!

This is a church, right? Who are inclusive of all?

DeWe · 14/12/2011 14:43

Talk to the vicar. If all the other children are in then make a huge fuss.

Original poster

pingu2209 · 14/12/2011 17:05

I collared the vicars wife on the high street and said I was 'miffed' (well she is the vicar's wife). She very quickly said that the play this year was not organised by her and for me to contact another person.

My gut feel is that the person who is organising it just forgot about my family and got other families involved that she did remember. Then when I quizzed her for not having ds in the play this year (as actually he has been in it over the past 3 years), she made up any excuse that came to mind.

He really wants to do it (as his Autistic friend is in it too).

If I pushed it harder I know that I would get him in the play. However, I would come across really badly within the Church community locally.

OP posts:

SusanneLinder · 14/12/2011 17:08

Attitudes like this remind me why I am happy to be an atheist

MabelLucyAttwell · 14/12/2011 17:08

Suffer little children to come unto me.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/12/2011 17:10

However, I would come across really badly within the Church community locally.

Why? Because you don't want your son left out? If this church community would think badly of you for this, then I'd seriously think about finding somewhere else with a more humane attitude.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 14/12/2011 17:10

OP, I don't think you'll come across badly at all. I think you will come across as assertive, fair and competent. Unlike the wazzock 'organising' the Nativity Play.

if you suggest a part that your son can play, then you've already fixed the problem for them.

Most kids just like to be on stage, in a costume, as a walk on, joining in.

Winkly · 14/12/2011 17:10

However, I would come across really badly within the Church community locally.

So f*ing what? Your son matters far more.

Winkly · 14/12/2011 17:11

And pardon my swearing, I am cross at these people on behalf of your son.

sue52 · 14/12/2011 17:14

You are not in the least bit BU. I thought the church was meant to be inclusive.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/12/2011 17:15

Isn't there always room for one more shepherd?

Floggingmolly · 14/12/2011 17:16

It's a non-speaking part??? That beggars belief. And bollocks to "it wasn't organised by me". It's taking place in her church with presumably her full authority, shout this from the rooftops, they have screwed up, not you.

Bakelitebelle · 14/12/2011 17:17

Well, that's churches for you. My son and his class were nearly thrown out of a Church by a churchwarden. Their crime? Being severely disabled and making noises. The church wasn't holding a service at the time by the way. Luckily, a lovely lady doing the flowers intervened and remonstrated with the churchwarden - I think her reasoning involved the practical application of Christianity as taught by the New Testament...

Methe · 14/12/2011 17:17

What is a language disorder?

Flip

1 2