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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For thinking that my colleagues are sexist?

65 replies

Beaverfeaver · 13/12/2011 19:10

I work in an office of about 15 people. I am female and young at 26.

Most of my colleagues are male 40+.

I do not work in an administrative role. I am sales and manage a team of 3.

We have an admin/receptionist who does such things as the post, arranging couriers etc...

Anyway, when she is away, as soon as something 'adminy' needs to be doing, the males of the office always come to me. I am starting to get a bit peeved by it and actually have snapped once or twice and asked them outright if thy ask me because I am female.
The response is always a joky one. Which is fine as I don't want things to get hostile in a small open plan office where most of the time we all love each other dearly.
Just why do they not ask the more junior males of the office?

I used to think it was because I was nice and friendly and happy to help. Turns out I am not as happy as I thought. Haha!

OP posts:

Backtobedlam · 13/12/2011 19:28

I'd imagine they probably ask you as you're competent and seem like you can manage your workload ok. Next time if your too busy why don't you suggest they ask x in your team? If you pick someone who you know can cope with it on top of their daily work, and delegate to him.

WoTmania · 13/12/2011 19:33

YANBU - it's the default 'female job' thing.
Maybe next time do what Backtobedlam suggests

aldiwhore · 13/12/2011 19:40

Maybe slightly sexist, or slightly mummyboys, or just products of upbringing/expectations without fully realising they're doing it. Some women are just more capable I suppose, so maybe its a kind of inverted sexism in that they think you cope best at everything? I don't know how to word it without creating a whole gender difference debate and what one should be offended at and what one should think is rather sweet! [scaredface]

Delegate! Agree with both backto and wot.

If you all get on very well, tell them to learn to do it themselves, take the piss out of them, but keep saying NOOOOOO.

MabelLucyAttwell · 13/12/2011 20:01

What about organising a rota so that when the receptionist/admin is not there, you will all know that it's so and so's turn to do her work. And pin it up on the noticeboard so there's no getting out of it (unless swaps are allowed).

Poweredby200mgofCaffeineaday · 13/12/2011 20:07

Yeah I think it sounds a bit sexist. This used to happen to me in my last role. I was junior reporter but had to cover the receptionist's lunch breaks - even though there was a male 'office junior' who was never asked to do it. Looking back on it I cannot believe I never made a fuss, but I was young and thought I had to be helpful to get ahead. No, I had to be assertive to get ahead, a lesson I learnt the hard way. Don't do this work. If the admin girl isn't there, surely everyone is responsible for their own stuff. Why on earth should you take on anyone else's?

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 13/12/2011 20:18

Fix them with an icy stare and ask why they're not capable enough to do it for themselves!

TroublesomeEx · 13/12/2011 20:49

I'm afraid I think it probably is sexist.

suebfg · 13/12/2011 20:51

YANBU - it's quite common - men are quite incapable of putting paper in a printer or booking a meeting rooom etc etc etc

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 13/12/2011 21:01

Bring it up at the next staff meeting that they need an agreed plan about allocating tasks equally next time admin is off.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 13/12/2011 21:07

YANBU. Is there a manager or an HR person you could raise it with?

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 13/12/2011 21:32

It is sexist. It's demonstrating that they feel all support/assistance/menial work is automatically women's work. The best way to deal with it probably is to have a rota for covering the admin when the admin worker is away. Or for them to hire a temp to cover this job when the jobholder is away for more than a day.

WhoopsyLa · 13/12/2011 22:57

Don't do it.....learn how to get them to do it. When one approaches you with some request, say "I don't have time for that!" in a totally over the top ridiculously offended way...."Do your own dogsbody work my man!" and then laugh and walk off.

Do it....make it into a joke back whilst all the time being clear that you wont be messed with. DON'T come out with any "Oh sorry I don't have time" type excuses...you're NOT sorry...it's not your job.

lottiegb · 13/12/2011 23:36

What Backtobedlam said - delegate immediately as if it hadn't occurred to you that they could actually be expecting you to do the task yourself. Also, ask the office manager / senior manager if they can clarify / remind everyone what the proper procedure is for getting admin stuff done when that member of staff is away.

It could be that they think you're very capable and organised but even if so, you have a job to do, so you don't have time to assist with everyone else's.

Pendeen · 13/12/2011 23:39

YABU.

Everyone does this, it's called office life.

" I do not work in an administrative role. I am sales and manage a team of 3 "

Don't be so pompous.

lottiegb · 13/12/2011 23:45

No Pendeen, everyone asking everyone else for help and mucking in when tedious things need doing is fine. Everyone presuming that one person will help them with tasks that are no more to do with her job than theirs is not.

xyfactor · 13/12/2011 23:50

It sounds slightly sexist doesn't it?
Are you the junior member?
You said most of the team are male are there any other women who don't get asked to cover for the recep/admin cover?

Pendeen · 14/12/2011 00:07

No lottiegb the OP is BU.

Read what she has said, she has an inflated sense of her own importance, that is all.

NinkyNonker · 14/12/2011 07:53

Yanbu. Sales does not equal admin. I used to be in marketing (at board level admittedly) and was the only woman at that level. Guess who was always asked/told to organise the coffee, take the minutes etc. I did it once and then pointed out it wasn't my turn...as I presumed that wad why they were asking, they wanted to take turns.?

If sales is so lowly Pendeen, why do they not ask the people she manages, surely they are lower down the pecking order?

SardineQueen · 14/12/2011 08:03

FGS don't take the work and give it to someone on your team! What a crap suggestion! It is not your work, it is not your responsibility. If the admin person is away then these men need to either do it themselves or delegate it to someone else on their team. Why should your team have to cover this person's absences when the work is nothing to do with any of your roles? That's ridiculous.

Tell them to do it themselves / get a junior person on their team to do it.

And yes of course it's sexist.

And as for calling the OP pompous - she is in a management role at work with responsibility for 3 staff. Mentioning this to explain exactly why she shouldn't be the automatic port of call for admin tasks is factual. Would these men approach a male line manager and ask him to do their photocopying? Take a wild guess. Belitting the OPs role at work and telling her she should be doing the menial work for all the men in the office is a totally shitty thing to say.

NinkyNonker · 14/12/2011 08:08

Some women love to run others down, keeps them in their place. Tis very odd.

cory · 14/12/2011 08:09

A colleague of mine (academic) had a similar problem. Yes, she was scarily competent at admin- but that's because she got plenty of practice [hmm. Her male colleagues didn't exactly get more competent by offloading onto somebody else. All it meant was that she ended up doing masses of overtime to fill her actual role as well and that their careers shot ahead because they were able to spend more time on them. Guess who has ended up qualifying themselves for promotion- and who hasn't!

The point, Pendeen, is not looking down on admin: it is that it is assumed that it is too much to ask a man to do a job he isn't trained for, but that a female won't mind.

NinkyNonker · 14/12/2011 08:29

I asked at what point during my degree and subsequent chartered qualifications did they think I had been taught secretarial skills like minute taking. And how I was supposed to present at, participate in and take minutes all at the same time.

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 14/12/2011 09:14

Pendeen, do you think that women shouldn't be allowed managerial roles in case they get above themselves or something?

lottiegb · 14/12/2011 09:18

Yes sardine, I reconsidered the delegation thing a moment later (though it does make the point about her role and takes up less expensive time) - how about suggesting that in fact she's noticed x on their team is very competent at this sort of thing? If x is junior it might be possible to make that sound flattering.

Cory, exactly my point about her not having time. No-one will thank her for it in any way that counts.

Pendeen · 14/12/2011 09:27

SGSF

No, why would I?

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