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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For thinking that my colleagues are sexist?

65 replies

Beaverfeaver · 13/12/2011 19:10

I work in an office of about 15 people. I am female and young at 26.

Most of my colleagues are male 40+.

I do not work in an administrative role. I am sales and manage a team of 3.

We have an admin/receptionist who does such things as the post, arranging couriers etc...

Anyway, when she is away, as soon as something 'adminy' needs to be doing, the males of the office always come to me. I am starting to get a bit peeved by it and actually have snapped once or twice and asked them outright if thy ask me because I am female.
The response is always a joky one. Which is fine as I don't want things to get hostile in a small open plan office where most of the time we all love each other dearly.
Just why do they not ask the more junior males of the office?

I used to think it was because I was nice and friendly and happy to help. Turns out I am not as happy as I thought. Haha!

OP posts:
tablefor3 · 14/12/2011 16:14

Why they are asking is irrelevant (and I suspect it is subconscious "oh, admin things, = young female, = OP", but without any malice). The fact is that they are asking OP whose remit it is clearly not, and she needs to counter that.

OP I'd continue to counter with a joky response as you are doing; or possibly [smiling] "why are you asking me?" with the more repeat offenders. Plus mention to whoever that they need to work out how the receptionist's work is covered in her absence.

PS - I don;t think your description of your work was pompous, just factual.

AlexandraMary · 14/12/2011 16:17

There's a really great book called: nice girls don't get the corner office" which is fascinating on things that we sometimes do which sabotage our careers.

I can't recommend it enough - some great tips to deal with this type of casual non-malicious sexism.

www.amazon.co.uk/Nice-Girls-Dont-Corner-Office/dp/0446531324

PieCherry · 14/12/2011 16:46

YANBU - Definitely Not.

Sod them (sort your own stuff and tell them to sort theirs). Who does the receptionist work for - they should organise cover!

Rowgtfc72 · 14/12/2011 18:47

I work in a factory and when our production line goes down Im given a brush and asked to tidy whilst the blokes sort out the problem. Find it irritating as I was the problem solver before they worked there and I went off to have dd. No point complaining as issue goes right through management and then becomes a "well you are part time and it is awkward". Do the same to the full time lady who works with me too.Sometimes its so ingrained it becomes the norm.

SardineQueen · 14/12/2011 21:18

Well that's just shitty rowgtfc72 Sad

Pantofino · 14/12/2011 23:21

Some people can be shitty. I know donkeys years ago I was a bit bored with my job and the company needed someone to edit the newsletter. After discussing with my boss it was agreed that after doing ALL my work I could spare a couple of days at the end of the month to do this. I was efficient! I volunteered and was accepted.

I did all my work, went to the Marketing dept, learnt how to to use the software and created and published a newsletter. I was SO chuffed and proud of myself. The next week I went back to my office to find a PILE of mouldy coffee cups. This was apparently my punishment for "getting up myself".

I tried all sorts of non-confrontational stuff - which didn't work. HR had to get involved before my co-worker "agreed" to help with what was in fact her washing up. Strangely I resigned not long after this....

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 15/12/2011 00:19

Pendeen: the OP states that she is the only one at her level who is being asked to do lower-level work when the junior staff member whose job it is, is not available to do it, and that she is the one without a penis. Which indicates strongly that the simple reason - sexism - is the correct one.

allthatglittersisnotgold · 15/12/2011 00:32

I am 26 and work in a male dominated office too, in a non secretarial role!! Have had numerous men ask me where envelopes are, if so and so is on holiday. Drives me mad!! I tell them to ask the secs and let me get back to the work I did a degree for!

cory · 15/12/2011 08:51

Maybe I am a cynical old cow, but I have never found myself in a workplace where the only person on a certain level who is asked to take time from their work to provide this kind of support for colleagues has been a man. Has anyone?

NinkyNonker · 15/12/2011 09:41

Nope. In a previous role I used to sit outside the Senior Partner's office as we worked closely together, his PA sat along the way directly outside his office and I was at a diagonal. I had my name and title clearly displayed, ad did everyone. Yet week in, week out I would get other staff (always male bar one) telling me the photocopier was out of paper, or asking why the stationary cupboard was empty. It was always when the PA wasn't there. I pointed out stationary didn't tend to fall under the marketing manager's remit, but nor did it fall under the other lady's role either as we had a team on the end of the phone who did all of that. As they knew full well as it was in all of our inductions, and the number was at each hot desk, displayed on the photocopier, cupboard etc.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 15/12/2011 10:24

Pendeen - Read what she has said, she has an inflated sense of her own importance, that is all

I don't think you can accuse everyone of interpreting this statement wrong, and absolve yourself by saying "perhaps it was ambiguous". It implies her position is lowly. At least have the good grace to admit when you word something badly instead of blaming the several posters on this thread who saw the same thing in your words.

Pendeen · 16/12/2011 11:15

DoesNotGiveAFig

Not at all.

My comment ".. perhaps it was ambiguous .." was not in any way related to the OP's AIBU but my response to a specific acusation: " If sales is so lowly Pendeen " where I merely replied that I had not denigrated anyone who works in sales, therefore your statement is quite wrong.

My comments still stand - an immediate reaction of sexism is very easy and obviously a fairly standard reaction by some on MN.

There may be sexism involved but it is not, in my view the only factor especially in the light of the OP's statement.

PieCherry · 16/12/2011 11:17

What other reason is there??

DoesNotGiveAFig · 16/12/2011 11:34

Hmm pendeen

Pendeen · 16/12/2011 11:53

DoesNotGiveAFig

Likewise.

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