Fuck - I just uninvited my mum to my wedding

[toobilly]

Me and DP are finally getting married.
Are DCs finally sat us down about a year ago and ordered us to get married.

DDs wanted to have proper dresses and DD1 really wanted to organise it (she is 16) so we aren't having the wedding we would have picked (jeans and registry office) but there we go and it means that others are involved.

Anyway.

My Mum has never liked DP (well me getting pg at 17 when he was 22 prob didn't help) but even now with 4 DCs and a 18 yr relationship she still doesn't like him. Everyone knows (including DCs and oldest two know the whole story) but we put up with it and she is perfectly nice to him if she is around ours - mainly for mine and DCs sake. But over the years she and DP have got better (not doing a runner like she said he would definatly went in his favour)

So met up with her today for coffee to talk about travel arrangements (memebers of my family are flying in for the wedding and peopl are putting them up collecting from airport etc)
Anyway as we were talking she reaches over and takes my hands in hers looks at me then says 'You know toobilly you could still stop this going ahead no one would think any less of you'
I stood up and told her if she felt like that then she could count herself as uninvited to the wedding. Then walked out of the cafe.

DP at work and don't really know how I'm going to play this one, because I just uninvited my Mum to my wedding (and don't know what DCS will do/say).

Shit - AIBU and over-reacting a tad?

Your mum could have said it in a much better way if she felt you were swept away in details you didn't want

When I took weddings I always told the couple at the rehearsal it wasn't too late to cancel and asked if they were they really sure. This was after my boss took a wedding were the bride told her dh she didn't want to be married before they'd even had the speeches. Shed told her mum before the wedding but her mum had said it was too late, they'd paid for the wedding, she was dam well going to go through with it. They had 2 kids!

Do think you need to resolve this soon though, if she is not invited, it will be too late to change your mind after the wedding

I think asking that question after 18yrs is a bit umm odd - surely she knows that you were planning to get married before but due to circumstances didn't. After 18yrs you had plenty of chances to walk away, you haven't and actually if you did walk away not like you could strike DP out of your life. If you and DP didn't have all those years and DCs saying it may not seem odd and just looking out for you. But with all that - I think it chages it

I suppose it might have been a bit of the straw that broke the camels back - guessing you have spent 18yrs with her comments and remarks and kind of thought she may be a bit different now its your wedding.
So maybe its the fact that she is still like it after all this time not her exact words that you are upset about?
But leave it for a few days then come back to it.

I love the fact your DCs are organising it - that is lovely. Enjoy your day

Thank you all - you were very helpful
I suppose leaving it for a bit then acting may be a good idea - there is so much more going on wont be too hard.
Thanks again