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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To withdraw DD from nursery after this?

45 replies

Mydelilah · 13/12/2011 00:54

Today I discovered my DD (age 3.5 yrs) had had a tooth basically knocked out when head butted by another child during playground time at nursery and they did not even notice! As soon as I got there to collect her she showed me her very wobbly front tooth, the gum was also bleeding - this was 5.30pm. I asked the teacher what had happened and she said nothing, she'd had a knock at playtime at 10 am but they didn't see anything else wrong all day.

DH took her to the emergency denists tonight and she has to have the front tooth removed, which both DH and dentist chickened out on tonight as she was 'too traumatised'

I am absolutely raging furious that she spent basically a whole day in nursery with bleeding gums and front tooth hanging off by a thread and the teachers did not notice! Slightly weird that she told me straight away and said it hurts but hadn't said anything to her teacher all day... To me it's totally obvious, I can see bleeding and the fact that she's feeling it with her tongue all the time, and lisping a lot when she talks. I should add that there were 2 full time teachers and only 5 children in class today. Also no bump report/accident report was filed, no trace of the incident at all in nursery although teacher admitted there were 'a lot of tears' at the time

AIBU to wonder if she is safe in this nursery? I'm not sure if I can bring myself to leave her there again but frankly, I have a job to go to so need to act fast and find somewhere else, which is inconvenient if I'm overreacting.....(I've had issues already regarding their diligence in making sure children eat/go to loo etc during the day)

Thoughts welcome

OP posts:
olivestanssister · 13/12/2011 00:59

The pathology of a childs day in nursery is always difficult.
If you don't like the nursery then you should stop taking your child there.
Headbutt and traumatised?
You are being reasonable to want to know the details but to use terms like those suggests you're being precious.

CardyMow · 13/12/2011 00:59

Nope,this is a safeguarding issue - and I would not only be finding a different nursery (as you have had other issues too), I would be contacting Ofsted about the lack of record-keeping.

MollyintheMoon · 13/12/2011 01:01

I don't think you're overreacting at all! I'd be horrified. Sad

MillyR · 13/12/2011 01:06

I think a lot of adults would be upset if they had a tooth knocked out.

I have no real knowledge to comment on the nursery predicament, but try not to worry too much about the tooth, even though it is upsetting at the time. DS had a front tooth knocked out when he was little, and the adult tooth still came through fine. It can sometimes delay the eruption of the adult tooth a little bit, because the tooth is having to push though the healed over gum rather than just push the remains of the baby tooth out.

pinkyp · 13/12/2011 01:08

YaNbu!!agree report to ofsted

winnybella · 13/12/2011 01:10

Shock I got called in the past for less than that with DS. In DD's nursery you see the staff checking their temp, logging it in etc, no way the child could be bleeding/have a tooth almost knocked out and they wouldn't notice.

I would be majorly pissed off (and I'm not precious at all).

winnybella · 13/12/2011 01:11

I meant checking temp of any child that's a bit off colour, not that they obsessively subject all kids to it all day long Grin

ABumDance · 13/12/2011 01:20

You are not being unreasonable! I would be really mad, and like others have suggested contact ofsted too.They have responsibilities to your child's care and welfare.You mentioned previous issues with them which would obviously make you worry further.I would remove my child from their care immediately! I hope your DD is okay :)

Feminine · 13/12/2011 01:23

I would be livid.

I'm sorry ...thats a dreadful thing to happen.

I hope the dentist trip goes smoothly for all of you :)

Don't know about the nursery , but my feeling would to move her (if possible)

My son (8) came home from school (last week) with a massive black eye...massive.

Not only did they not take him to the nurse , the teacher hadn't even seen it Confused

That feeling of picking up your child a bit broken is not nice...

LivingDead · 13/12/2011 01:54

My children haven't been to paid nursery but I will assume that it's the same as a nursery attached to a school. I would certainly not be happy with that, if your daughter was really upset how could they fail to notice that her tooth was wobbly/bleeding. If she told you as soon as she came out, she will have mentioned it to her carers, poor love.

tryingtoleave · 13/12/2011 02:57

Precious, olive Shock ! Would you not care if your child had a tooth knocked out? Glad I'm not your child. Fwiw, I would feel ver traumatized if I had a tooth knocked out.

MayaAngelCool · 13/12/2011 04:52

YANBU. How quickly can you make alternative childcare arrangements? Pull her out as soon as you can and don't let them keep your deposit!

Definitely tell OFSTED, this is unacceptable.

So Angry for you.

SeymoreButts · 13/12/2011 05:35

YANBU! I think you have a very serious complaint to lodge now. It's a total failure to care for your child. DD must have suffered a substantial blow to the head, and her injury was not spotted or treated at any point during the course of the day! They have either ignored the fact that she was bleeding from the mouth and her tooth was loose, or no one noticed...
I would ask work for a couple of days of leave while you organise something else!

runningwilde · 13/12/2011 06:02

Yanbu at all - that is disgusting and they are not doing their job properly. It's amazing how some people will
Come on here and label you precious when the people in charge of your small child have been so incompetent!

Complain to ofsted as they need to learn from this and find somewhere else now!

Esta3GG · 13/12/2011 07:37

Strange how people think it is no big deal for a kid to have a tooth knocked out - but if they had gone to work, been headbutted and lost a tooth they'd be on here baying for compensatory blood. Grin

Remove her from the nursery and report them to Ofsted.
The nursery failed with their duty of care and need a bollocking.

MudAndGlitter · 13/12/2011 07:41

YANBU. I would be going absolutely mental at them

HSMM · 13/12/2011 07:46

I am a cm, so I have lower ratios, but when a child in my care tripped and bumped his mouth yesterday, one of the first things I did was check he didn't have a wobbly tooth!

pigletmania · 13/12/2011 07:54

On one hand YANBU at all, they should have noticed, and kept and accident book which they fill in, and then complete a brief form for you and let you know by telephone or when they see you (that is what we had to do in our Council run day center). To not notice a child is bleeding from the mouth, and does not look herself is a bit Hmm, and I would be having stern words with the nursery manager or if part of the school teacher/headteacher if needs be. YABU to use emotive words such as traumatised, and headbutt though bit ott imo.

slavetofilofax · 13/12/2011 07:56

As someone who works in a classroom with thirty children not that much older than your dc, I would say that they would have to be working quite hard at not paying the children enough attention if that could go unnoticed.

2 members of staff, 5 children, and tears at the time? Shock

WTF were they doing all day? Shock Shock

I would be finding alternative childcare and putting in a complaint.

cory · 13/12/2011 08:10

When dd had two teeth knocked out aged 2 there was an awful lot of blood and she was clearly in pain and upset, in fact she was bloody hysterical- you really couldn't not have noticed it.

Obviously accidents happen and you can't do a lot about that. But that nobody noticed and that nobody checked- I don't like the sound of this.

Original poster
Mydelilah · 13/12/2011 08:27

Many thanks all for the comments - confirms what I was thinking, and helps me to make the difficult decisions. I'll be going into nursery this morning to talk to the director.

(For the comments posted on language - apologies, I tried to be completely factual and nonbiased to get genuine feedback but was pretty upset about this last night when i wrote the post and a couple of emotive words snuck through).

OP posts:
Parasaurolophus · 13/12/2011 08:32

YANBU. I would pull my child out of that nursery immediately, and possibly file a report with care standards as well.

TroublesomeEx · 13/12/2011 09:31

This is a Safeguarding issue.

Report it to Ofsted.

It is down to them to determine whether or not the nursery was being negligent or whatever.

Personally, I wouldn't tell the nursery you are doing it. I wouldn't want them corroborating their stories.

Don't send your DD back.

olive I don't think being concerned that your child has had a front tooth knocked almost out and not being contacted about it because the staff weren't aware is being PFB in the slightest! The language used by the OP was very measured given the circumstances!!

TheLightPassenger · 13/12/2011 09:39

You are being completely reasonable. They should have noticed this incident and taken proper care of your daughter. When my child is at nursery/school, they have followed procedures with even the most minor blow to the head.

DeWe · 13/12/2011 09:49

My dd1 used to not say anything if she'd been hurt. She doesn't like being fussed over and plasters etc. so will withdraw herself away from attention.

When she was about year 1 she fell off some play equipment at school, cut her lip and banged her head and leg quite badly. She removed herself to behind a tree, where I think she briefly fainted due to shock. She told her friends not to say anything, so all the school saw was her having an unexplained fat lip at the end of lunch.

She told me what happened as soon as I picked her up.

I don't think the school was to blame at all, if they had asked if she was okay then she would have said yes, and certainly wouldn't have gone to tell them. I did alert school to her behaviour, and gave her strict instructions not to do that again.

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