In being petrified about the welfare changes which will affect parents who care for disabled children?

[Dillydaydreaming]

AIBU?

If I am then please explain why parents (often the mother) who have to give up work to take on a caring role are going to be penalised by this utter scum of a "caring" ( don't make me laugh - I might actually fucking cry) Govt.

I am hearing that some families are going to be worse off by huge amounts a month - one family by nearly £200 which is massive if you are already a low income family.

I could quite honestly cry with worry. I work 16 hours a week, my son who is autistic needs supervision day AND night, I am often utterly exhausted and cannot commit to any more hours. I am currently off sick due to sheer fucking exhaustion and yet this fucking Govt think unless I work 20 hours a week I am workfare fodder.

Well do you know what? They can go screw themselves - stupid arseholes all of them.
I cannot physically do any more hours, I can hardly cope with those I do have.

Even worse is the suspicion that with the continual drip feed of erroneous facts and figures designed to portray us all as scrounging workshy wasters there are many who simply won't give a shit prevent worse will AGREE with the changes because they are too thick to read behind the headlines. Children with ADHD qualifying for free cars anyone? What a load of bollocks THAT was, but despite the later retraction by the DM, the damage is done. I've already seen it repeated here by someone who "read it somewhere".

Caring my arse. This Govt does not care for
anyone except those who will line it's pockets

Actually while I feel THIS tired, exhausted, drained etc I cannot think anyone can justify this to me.

This Govt is utter shit of the highest order and my contempt for them knows no bounds.

I am crying, scared and angry all at the same time and it's horrible.

PersonalClown will send you a fb message, I don't like saying too much on mn

I don't want to say this is party political actually, smallwhitecat, before you get defensive. Labour invented ESA, and they're just as happy to benefit bash as the Tories.

Really small? Who do you think feeds the press. IDS goes on about scroungers all the time, as does Cameron. If you think the government are not feeding the rhetoric, you are very much mistaken. It is all about divide and conquer, setting the poor against the poor by banging on about the deserving poor.

oh come on smallwhite, really, ........ where have you been

I would actually put money on the half baked stuff coming straight from IDS's office.

'I sometimes think we should have a day of action. on a day everyone with a disabled family member rings SS and says they want to place them in care
I bet that would show them'

I reckon thats a damn good plan

it is part of their plan, they have picked on what they assume is a soft target, well it is as a lot of disabled people don't have a voice, people like my dd can't shout in the streets of wreck things to get their point across.

YANBU, it scares me to death too. I am a single parent to two disabled children. I get no respite due to all the cuts and now I've got the welfare changes to worry about too.
Sometimes its tempting to write to the government and tell them that due to their changes I will be placing both children in care which will cost them considerably more than the paltry sum I receive. Obviously I could never do this as I love my children far too much to even consider it and the government will know this- they've got people over a hurdle.

I am sorry but can someone explain the 'only being allowed one disabled child' thing - I have two - one on middle rate and one on higher rate dla - dpes this mean I have to pick one for the purposes pf tax credits and does that mean only one of them can get dla too? all very confusing (deliberately of course)

None of this is coming into force until 2013, as yet there are no firm guidelines, nothing has been passed yet, its all scaremongering. Im going to lose £280 a month, I will just have to live a little frugally, or get a better paid job.

Im not even thinking about it because nothing is firm yet.

The changes to tax credits come into force from April next year. We've had our letters.

OP I thought it was just me I wake and think about it, then start to throw up with the sheer anxiety of it all. I haven't been able to tell anyone how scared I am. My son is suicidal regularly, I'm cutting back, I'm trying to work self employed part time but it's just scares me as I can't balance it all.

I am just the same, thought I was going mad.

I understand that there have been huge cuts in respite etc and have seen the impact that is having on some families I work with. I think one of the problems is that some people struggle to see where the additional costs come in when it comes to something like ASD or ADHD and perhaps explaining those costs might help people understand. Because the amount of DLA and CA that gets awarded certainly isn't enough to pay for additional care. I have put this very clumsily but I hope people understand what I am asking.

Brandy- not for DLA (yet) but UC which replaces tax credits yes.

I'll have a go with OCD and ASD Londonone.

Not being able to hold down a "proper job". I'll get a call saying son is sick, it's anxiety, have to get him from school. His OCD means he is food phobic, he doesn;t just prefer certain brands he literally can't eat other brands, introducing new foods is a nightmare.

He is bullied, he has tried to kill himself a number of times now, he has no friends as he can't socialise. No or few friends plus bullying equals suicide. His coping mechanisms are his two hobbies, these to hobbies are expensive but they stop him self harming. He needs to be supervised while anxious suicidal and the hobbies have to be paid for. They're not just hobbies though they help him cope and for a time forgets about killing himself.

Most kids of his age play out with their mates he just has obsessive hobbies, where he will want to go to do them is 6ft of snow.

He is sensitive to certain materials, so certain washing stuff has to be used. He can't get on with people so his pets have literally saved his life. He can be reached via his cats when humans can't get to him. Pets have to be insured, fed etc. Additional washing with cleanliness issues.

I have several collections from school when he can't cope and zero notice which means I am unemployable.

I have several hospital visits for his treatments which literally control his anxiety, self harming and suicidal feelings. He goes through a pair of shoes a month, don't know why but he does. Washing bills are massive.

He goes through a bed in less than a year, I've tried high sleepers, divans, metal frames but he wrecks them all I think it is the frustration when he kicks out screams when playing games.

He can't do drawers, drawers are the same, just wrecks them, so now going for solid furniture from the 60's or earlier.

He can't use public transport, it's too frightening for him so he has to be driven to school and back. There will be a load more this is just the tip of it, there will be loads more but just to give a flavour.

Londonone iot varies
A car has to be run as the boy's SN Schools are not accessible by public transport- i worked out that a taxi would cost more than our litle Matiz, becuase I go into each maybe 3 times a month and each one is ten miles in different directions. plus the first thing thats tops here in the snow is taxis- so we could not get them home otherwise. Something that bothers me.

Our house needs an extra room to accomodate the boys as theyc an't share, that's £150 a month gone straight up.

Then they have multiple food allergies and intolerances. Theyc an;t access most social groups and have no friends locally to visit so we have to entertain them 24/7. Then stim toys and calming things- ds1 finds beading therapeutic (and is good in many other ways too) but costs me quite a bit over a month. Then there's clothes- we can get through shoes in 2 weeks easy, replacing losta dn broken coats, bags jumpers- 8 last term.

Equipment I send into school such as cushions, timers, etc.

Fees to go on training courses and the like.

Extra heating as one of the boys strips off constantly and we can't keep PJs on him for love nor money. Frequent replacing of furniture- DS3 has got through 2 wardrobes this year and needs another (canvas no good as he swings on it at 2am), ds1 gets through doors on meltdowns.

Adds up, and just gets so constant.

And clothes have to be the right ones. No logos in this house, preferably flat seams, or no seams when we can, all labels to be removed, we like velvet, but we don't like and won't wear wool or nylon. We too have lost coats, hoodies, tops, pe kits. Then there is sorting out the obsessions, books in the case of two, music and guitars for one, and they change and vary, those are just the constants. Food is a big issue too. Only certain foods (not all beige, here)! One of mine gets hypothermia, so we too need the heating on. Furniture being kicked and broken when there is a meltdown. And the amount of crockery I get through is unbelievable due to the dyspraxic element.

Oh goodness glasses

Cheapo ones don't bounce and just shatter but anything more costly still gives up the ghost after a few days but they will not drink from plastic.

And no concept of time, he can do the numbers but to imagine time is meaningless. Friday he wanted his Pizza serving, I was on the phone and asked for a minute, he couldn't wait, tried to get pizza casserole dish crashed in bits on the floor, cutting my feet really badly, cue new casserole dish and bandages.

It is so hard to quantify and explain the every day.

Take action here

This is not about Tax Credits this is about DLA.

It is fabby, kids who gets DLA also get a higher rate of tax credits.

yanbu. They couldn't care less who they shit on.

If you're not loaded or 100% healthy things are about to get fucking scary

The question is how do we get that information out there so people understand why DLA is necessary and why having DC with SN has so many hidden costs? I am about as rightwing as they come and believe that generally benefits are too high and the state does too much for people however my one caveat has always been that carers and those with SN need a much higher level of support than that which is available. The savings made by the country due to carers are simply enormous. IMO carers should be paid a decent living by the state and those with SN fully supported, there are so many other areas where cuts could be made.