My sister has our Mum babysit her kids a lot to allow her to work part time as her schedule is very flexible (as is her DHs) so they are of the view that they can't really sign up to formal child care, and can't really afford to either. So my sister works when rostered on, and if her DH is also working, they get Mum to babysit. To be fair Mum loves it, as enjoys spending time with the kids. Mum often says she loves to sit my DS as well although we rarely ask her to as rarely need it.
On the other hand, I only need babysitters to do fun things (ie going out to the movies with DH or a party) as we both work regular hours and can better plan for childcare.
Mum agreed to babysit for me a while ago so DH and I could go out dancing one night with some old friends, and since then something has come up with my sister so Mum can't sit for me anymore. I have backed down (sister asked me to and I agreed as Mum felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I didn't want to cause her stress), although I was really looking forward to the night out as now DH and I can't both go, and it really is a once only thing with these friends as they are visiting from overseas.
The whole thing has raised a bit of an issue in my mind though, as it seems to me that my sister's babysitting needs will always trump mine as my things are for fun, whereas hers are for work. This leaves me feeling slightly upset as I feel punished for being an excellent planner of my time in that DH and I don't commit to work things if one of us can't look after DS, and frustrated that sister doesn't arrange non-family childcare more often. It's hard to articulate that to my family, though, without sounding silly as to my sister in particular, of course her working is more important than my being able to go out with friends.
I am geuinely curious about this one as am not sure if lack of sleep has skewed my point of view ... AIBU?