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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or was my G.P?

33 replies

Arachnophobic · 11/12/2011 22:17

My DS is 3.9 months. Last week we had his pre-school check at the quacks. Was sent a questionnaire in advance regards development, sleeping and eating habits.

One of them queried if he was dry at night. He isn't. Doctor looked at the form and said "well really you have to sort this out before he goes to school." I queried this because my view is that as long is he dry in the daytime that's all that matters.

She was taken aback by my response and went onto explain that if he wanted to stay at a friends or join the scouts or whatever it's awkward if he is still in his pyjama pants.

I take that point but honestly, he will only be 4.5 when he goes to school. She has made me feel like I am being lax. AIBU?

OP posts:

poppycat04 · 11/12/2011 22:18

No I think your response was fine, she's BU. Don't let it worry you.

hiddenhome · 11/12/2011 22:19

What a load of old tosh. Both mine were in nappies till over the age of three and not dry at night until almost 4. They're 7 and 13 now and totally normal, hobbies and everything.

The doctor is barking

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 11/12/2011 22:21

I didn't realise it was parents that determined when a child became dry at night. With my DCs the nappies just got drier and drier until I stopped using them. I didn't do any kind of training.

Almostfifty · 11/12/2011 22:21

Oh for goodness sake.

You're right, she's wrong. One of mine was such a deep sleeper he was nearly 8 before he was dry at night.

I just gave him pull ups when he went to camp. No-one realised.

ChocChipMisteltoeAndWine · 11/12/2011 22:21

YANBU but GP is! Being dry overnight is a developmental issue - they have to have enough of a hormone to do it (the name escapes me) and my friend who is a GP says that it is only considered a problem if a child is not dry after age 7.

saladsandwich · 11/12/2011 22:22

if you took your ds to the drs over night time wetting they dont normally consider it a problem till they are 7... my nephew was over 5 when he was dry i'm sure he was

Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 22:23

I was of the impression from forums like this that quite a few children aren't dry at night until quite a bit older than 4.5yrs. Out of interest did the gp offer any constructive advice?

maxpower · 11/12/2011 22:24

GP was BU. How many children has she had herself I wonder?

pinkyp · 11/12/2011 22:25

I think the gp was bu! Def.

cheesesarnie · 11/12/2011 22:26

ds2 is 6 in a week and not dry at night.
your gp is unreasonable
but you are for saying quack

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 11/12/2011 22:27

She did say the usual Back like last drink an hour before bedtime, dream wee at 11, yada yada but I reckon he would be so annoyed with me if I did the latter. I am not sure I would let him stay at a school friends at 4, we have some close friends with kids the same age we would probably allow him to sleep there as we have known them for years and they would have no problem with the pyjama pants.

OP posts:

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 11/12/2011 22:28

GP is mid 30's and has 3 children of her own! Saw picture on the wall, all under 10 including twins. One was a boy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 11/12/2011 22:28

Why cheese?

OP posts:

skybluepearl · 11/12/2011 22:30

Even aged 8 you will have the odd child still needing nappies at night. 3.9 is still very young.

2kidsintow · 11/12/2011 22:30

My DD10 is not reliably dry at night. It has worried her (when she was old enough to think about it for herself) that it could inconvenience sleepovers, but I've always had a quiet word with the Mum about her use of Pyjama pants and it has always been coped with really discreetly. We went to our excellent GP and she referred her, but only after reassuring her that it was one of those things and she'll be dry when it happens. Your GP is BU.
She now has medication and went on a residential trip with school with tablets to take in the evening and 2 pairs of Pyjama pants tucked in the bottom of her sleeping bag to wiggle into without anyone knowing at bedtime.

Don't worry about it.

2kidsintow · 11/12/2011 22:31

That should read DD, 10. I don't have 10 DDs (thank God!)

WonkyCatonkey · 11/12/2011 22:31

Your GP is BU, not you. Letting your DS get there in his own time is exactly the exactly the way to go about it, no pressure over it, no stress to him, and he's only 3 for goodness sake. My youngest wasn't dry at night until she was about 5, she slept so soundly she just didn't wake up. Shes now a perfectly normal 14 year old and didnt miss out on anything growing up Just ignore the silly woman, you're doing a grand job :)

Crabapple99 · 11/12/2011 22:31

my DS wasn't reliabley dry at night until nearly 10! It upset him a lot sometimes, but he was always reassurd that my brother , his uncle wasthe same, nad fifn't mind talking to him aboit it. It died out naturally, age 9 it was every other night, by 10 it had suopped. His best freind was the same, and tried acupuncture at age 10, which didn't work, and ws eventually given medication at 11, which sorted the problem immediatly he started it, and it was slowly reduced over about 6 months until he was taking nothing, and was reliable dry.

Neither children had any choice in this matter, nor did the parents, is is not something you can "sort out"- and it isn't convieniant, but it's no great catastrophe either.

Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 22:33

I think if gp was actually concerned she would have said more than just the normal advice regarding drinks etc. like you say he won't be going for sleepovers, except with close friends, for a while anyway. I wouldn't worry about it now anyway, he may be dry by the time any of the reasons she gave actually arise.

springboksaplenty · 11/12/2011 22:34

Grr. Methinks perhaps the GP is mistaking her own personal opinion for a professional one. Professional: children who aren't dry at night at a certain age may potentially have an underlying cause. Personal: children who aren't dry at night obviously have lazy slacker parents, my PFB was dry at three months

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 11/12/2011 22:36

Thank you everyone your supportive replies have been most appreciated. I thought about giving it a whirl but after seeing these posts I don't think I will. He has a lot of confidence and I don't want to dent it.

OP posts:

Sidge · 11/12/2011 22:37

Well if she had phrased it more nicely then she might have a point - some parents do leave school aged children in nappies at night because it makes their lives easier.

But they are the minority - most children are dry at night by about 5, and those that aren't are unlikely to be dry by 7.

Her advice is incorrect as well - dream weeing and lifting isn't recommended as it doesn't help to achieve night time continence.

NellieForbush · 11/12/2011 22:38

Of course she's BU.

Don't think you can even join beavers until 5 years old so shes getting a little ahead of herself!

valiumredhead · 11/12/2011 22:38

I never did any training at night. Ds was dry in the day at 3 and then a night probably about 6-8months later (long time ago now!) and his nappies just got drier and eventually we just stopped using them.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 11/12/2011 22:41

Absurd.

DS dry in day at 2.8 and dry at night 2.9 - never trained did it on his own.

DD dry in day at 2.9/10ish, out of night time pull-ups by about 3.6 BUT lifted at 11pm ish when I went to bed until about 5ish.

Both totally normal and now totally normal teenagers.

Don't take it to heart OP - GP has been lucky and thinks everyone else's dc are the same as hers. Hers will do something off at some stage.

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