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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be surprised that DMIL doesn't know how to spell my DS's name?

44 replies

maxpower · 11/12/2011 22:11

Firstly, this isn't a MIL-bashing thread - she really is DMIL!

But, she gave us our Christmas cards today and she'd spelled DS's name wrong. It's a perfectly 'normal' name - Matthew - which she'd spelled Mathew. It wasn't a mistake as she'd written it 3 times!

OP posts:

Kayano · 11/12/2011 22:28

Maybe she is just bad at
Spelling?

My gran has never got my cousins name right yet. She will ring me to get me to spell it down the phone and still spell it wrong

Oakmaiden · 11/12/2011 22:29

Maybe she just thinks that is how it is spelt?

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 11/12/2011 22:30

I know people with both spellings but I do think a relative should be able to get the right one, especially if you have ever written it on cards or something for her in the past, so she has seen it written down.

usualsuspect · 11/12/2011 22:30

Does it matter?

Sirzy · 11/12/2011 22:30

My nan never spelt my name right, it was a standing family joke

Greythorne · 11/12/2011 22:31

Some people just can't remember how to spell.
My Dad regularly mis-spells my name.
Think Sally, exceptmhe spells it Sallie.

No big deal.

cherrysodalover · 11/12/2011 22:32

My mil says my name incorrectly and has crossed out a similar name on a card before to insert the right one.
Let it go. Not a big deal. Name spellings are tricky for some.

Crabapple99 · 11/12/2011 22:34

my brother couln't even remember how he'd spelt his DD's names on her birth certificate! We had to get a copy to find out

MitroChristmasEve · 12/12/2011 03:59

It is really annoying! However, if both spellings are real spellings of the same name there is scope for confusion.

I've never met a Mathew, and I think that spelling looks really odd - but it is closer to how the name is pronounced so some people will not even realise that the Matthew spelling exists - never mind being the popular spelling.

We have similar with a different name in our family, and even sending Christmas cards from DC with DC's name in huge capital letters has made no difference.

It particularly annoys me that one of DC's favourite books has a dedication from a relative written in the inside cover - with the wrong spelling.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 12/12/2011 04:02

All of the Mathews I know are Mathews, none of them are Matthews - the double t looks really, really wrong to me! However, relatives should get used to whatever crazy spelling you choose to use!!

How old is Mathew Matthew?

How has she spelt it in the past?

MitroChristmasEve · 12/12/2011 04:24

Chipping you made me wonder... it seems Matthew is the more common spelling - 41st most popular boys name in 2010. Mathew doesn't seem to be in the top 100.

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 12/12/2011 04:28

WTF? 'Matthew' is not a crazy spelling...! It's the normal one!

I'd just casually point it out to her - honest mistake if this is the first time.

FrizzyFrazzled · 12/12/2011 04:52

My grandma spells my (very very easy to spell) name wrong and has done forever - I am 28 . She also now spells my DS's name wrong (is Michael - she spells it Micheal). I (obviously) write my name to her in letters etc, and my DS's, but she still gets it wrong - no big deal! Some people are bad spellers.

LAbaby · 12/12/2011 04:58

I didn't even know it could be spelt with two tts - and I have a close relative called mathew. Perhaps she simply doesn't realise?

Alligatorpie · 12/12/2011 05:14

Neither my dad and his wife nor my bro spell my dd's name correctly. I have given up. She is five.

ZacharyQuack · 12/12/2011 05:20

Maybe she knows a "Mathew" and that's how her brain has been conditioned to spell it.

pictish · 12/12/2011 05:49

One t or 2? Does it matter?

scaryhairydroopytits · 12/12/2011 05:49

My ds2s middle name is Hugh. When he was born my mother sent a card in which she misspelled it as Huge. Really upset me at the time.

iscream · 12/12/2011 06:10

Hmm, I would guess she is tired or something, not thinking straight?
Is your ds a newborn?
I don't know if it matters, but I only learned to spell Matthew this way 3 years ago, when my friend married one. To make it worse, I had considered Mathew as a middle name for ds2!

iscream · 12/12/2011 06:11

I often typo the name Brian as Brain.

ZonkedOut · 12/12/2011 06:21

I think some, maybe even most, people get conditioned to spell things a particular way, so can get it wrong without thinking about it.

I have a name that can be shortened with several different spellings, and people are always getting it wrong. Even people who are replying to an email clearly signed. DH has a name that is spelt the less common of two ways, and so many people get it wrong who should know better, including my Mum, in her case in part because my uncle has the same name spelt the other way.

So maybe point it out gently with a smile and next time she might think as she rights it.

rubyrubyruby · 12/12/2011 06:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZonkedOut · 12/12/2011 06:22

That should be writes of course, and is a good example of spelling something the wring way through being on auto pilot!

sitandnatter · 12/12/2011 06:27

My mum's spelling used to be really good but it is getting worse the older she gets, she just can't remember. I wouldn't worry about it.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming · 12/12/2011 08:42

Ds1 (27) has the same name. I too have had variations on the spelling. I'd never seen it with one 't' until somebody sent a card. We've got used to it now, and in fact most people use the diminutive with a double 't'.

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