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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be surprised that DMIL doesn't know how to spell my DS's name?

44 replies

maxpower · 11/12/2011 22:11

Firstly, this isn't a MIL-bashing thread - she really is DMIL!

But, she gave us our Christmas cards today and she'd spelled DS's name wrong. It's a perfectly 'normal' name - Matthew - which she'd spelled Mathew. It wasn't a mistake as she'd written it 3 times!

OP posts:

Wrigglebum · 12/12/2011 09:22

DH's middle name is Matthew. When we went to the registrar before getting married (the separate interviews) he laughed at us, as when he asked us if that was one t or two neither of us were sure. We both said we thought two as didn't know it could be spelled with one.

SnakePlisskensMum · 12/12/2011 09:52

Ha, my MIL calls my DS her cats name! Fortunately she hasn't written it in any cards...yet.

MmeLindor. · 12/12/2011 09:55

My granny wrote Gean on my our Christmas cards every single year. My Mum is called Jean.

I never knew that Matthew could be spelled with just one t.

And sorry, Scary but I sniggered at Huge.

homeaway · 12/12/2011 10:07

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? She cares about sending a card surely that is what matters, life is too short. :)

Haziedoll · 12/12/2011 10:12

My mum and sister sometimes spell ds1's name incorrectly even though it's the normal spelling.

My mum has started spelling dh's name as Greyam instead of Graham. She also always gives us cards to give to dh's sister and family but not his brother and family. Think it is an age thing.

HoHoOpotomus · 12/12/2011 11:14

DP spelt his own daughters name wrong in my birthday card - the baby was 6 months old and it's not 'hard to spell'
Sometimes peoples brains do funny things.

EdithWeston · 12/12/2011 11:23

Matthew is the Biblical way of spelling it.

Mathew is the Baynton way (HH actor, lovely in every way).

OP: if she can't use your preferred spelling, could you turn her inability into an affectionate standing family joke? That's much nicer to live with than being irritated.

tammygirl · 12/12/2011 11:23

my mother spells both my children's names incorrectly. she is by nature a rude cow somewhat inept socially. i take it as one of her many notes of disapproval.

in a letter she had me married off to a guy of a different name, that's how much she cares for etiquette.

but in your case i suspect she thinks it's how your son's name is spelt and isn't meaning any offence.

where i work, a lot of children have names that look like spelling mistakes e.g. joesph and markiss - (wonder what the grandparents write on those cards)

EssexGurl · 12/12/2011 12:47

No-one ever spells my name right. I am 41 and it still bugs me. My gran couldn't spell my full name so always put a shortened in cards etc. The Matthew/Mathew thing - single t is welsh spelling, I believe. If they are Welsh, live there, then that might be the reason. Personally I think that there is no excuse for spelling people's names incorrectly.

jasminerice · 12/12/2011 12:50

My own actual mother doesn't know how to spell my surname and I've been married over 10 years! And she's a teacher! No wonder kids leave school unable to read and write. Needless to say, I have nothing to do with her these days.

valiumredhead · 12/12/2011 12:55

Get your red pen out, put an extra T in the name and send it back to her - that'll show her!

lollilou · 12/12/2011 13:09

My Dh's middle name is spelt with the one t. It looks odd to me and I tried to leave it off my wedding invitations! Got over-ruled and the first thing my sister said was "Did you know you've spelt Mathew wrong"

Original poster

maxpower · 17/12/2011 12:24

sorry for my lack of reply! firstly, I'm not annoyed with her, I'm just stunned. I'd never ever come across Matthew spelt with one 't' and none of us are Welsh so I can't attribute it to that. It's handwritten so it's not a typo on her part. She is a good speller and the fact that she'd written it wrong 3 times suggests she thinks it is spelled that way.

DS is 1 on Monday, but when he was born last year, we hadn't decided on a name for him, so when she sent him his Christmas card last year, she just wrote, 'to my new grandson' which was fine. We had already sent their cards before he arrived so we never wrote his name down for them. But tbh I didn't envisage a problem with the spelling. Interestingly, DD has a traditional name that has a few spelling variations, but she got that one right.

The difficulty is that I know she'll be really upset if I correct her (because she'll feel awful that she spelt it wrong) but I also know that it's only a matter of time until DD (5) notices it's spelled wrong and points it out in that ever so unsubtle way children have!

I'm not insulted in anyway - we've got another card from a family friend who have called DS William Don't know what she was thinking when she wrote that one

Haziedoll - lol at Greyam

OP posts:

Greenshadow · 18/12/2011 15:39

DH is a Matthew. He has always felt that the one 't' spelling tends to be more of a surname, but judging by this thread, it obviously isn't.

Personally I couldn't care less about people spelling names in different way to the way you intended - it just has to be an accepted part of life if you have a name like that and you have to get used to it.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 18/12/2011 15:44

I mis-spelt DS's name in a Christmas card to DM yesterday...

DB mis-spells it on a regular basis...

YA possibly BU... But only possibly.

SantaAteAllTheBiscuits · 18/12/2011 15:47

I spelt ds1's middle name wrong on his birth cert

All during the pregnancy I'd been getting flustered spelling Michael with the a and e switched (in my defense there is an Irish name pronounced Me-hall which is spelt Micheal) and when I filled out the form in the hospital at 9am the morning after having had ds1 at almost midnight and not sleeping all night I picked the wrong one.

Neither dp nor I noticed when we went to register him (again, in my defense he was 2 days old and I was barely conscious from lack of sleep!) so it's wrong on his birth cert now!

herbietea · 18/12/2011 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Meow75isknittinglikemad · 18/12/2011 15:56

If my birth certificate is to be believed, my mother registered my birth approximately one month after I was born - it is definitely her signature - and my name is spelled incorrectly to the way that I was always ever taught to spell it by my parents. I use the 8 letter, "French style" spelling but there are several, gender differentiated variants and one of them is there, on the certificate, as plain as day.

I used to get annoyed about it, partly because if my mum wasn't going to spell my name correctly, what hope did anyone else have, but I'm over that now that I have grown up, and matured.

KingofHighVis · 18/12/2011 15:59

I've spelt nephew's name wrong on all his presents. My excuse is that dear brother should have spelt it properly in the first place.

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