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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is being awkward

28 replies

EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 20:22

Apparently it is my fault she has a cold! I havent even got one, the reason i was sniffling was cos i kept going from hot to cold and cos i had been crying, so hoiw unfair is that. She then on friday night announces she needs mum to dog sit and will drop the dogs off about mid day for mum, cos she has to go to hospital on monday to have an ecg done. She is only doing it at mid day though, i am sure because she knew i had a dentist appointment booked for which i paid £20 deposit, for 12 on monday. Is this just coincidence, but she done it last year on my birthday, and for two days before and two days after. She cant leave the dogs indoors cos susie who is only a puppy destroys any paper. But thats not my fault. She also always has a go at me for never doing anything, but all i have been doing is running around osting things, on phone calls, and jumping through hoops. She even said i was being selfish cos mum took my son for ten minutes while i had my blood test done! yet she can dump the dogs on her from 6.45 am until god knows what time that night!

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 10/12/2011 20:25

Errrm this sounds like a sibling rivalry thing between two petulant teens, & not sure what you are asking here TBH. Sorry!

NatashaBee · 10/12/2011 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rhondajean · 10/12/2011 20:29

Ill tell you the same thing I tell my two when they are squabbling.

Go and put your pjs on NOW, and if you dont stop this nonsense, you will be in bed in ten minutes with no X Factor.

HTH.

IQuiteLikeVodka · 10/12/2011 20:31

hee hee

unfitmother · 10/12/2011 20:35

I think bedtime with no story for both of you!

RecursiveMoon · 10/12/2011 20:36

Grin at rhonda.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 20:37

She is just being a right cow about it. She even ordered me to cancel my dentist appointment and tells me i am being unfair to mum if i dont. She also tells me when she comesover that HER dogs are my responsibility to look after while they are here. Then she had a go at me cos io texted her on wednesday to say i couldnt go out next wednesday cos i had a letter through to see the health visitor. NOT MY FAULT, but needs to be done. She does seem like a teenager sometimes, She also wants to go through my phone and questions me on where i ahve been who with ETC, its like being interrogatted my MI5!

Do you think its me or her? I am 23 years old and do not see what it has to do with her who i speak to or who i dont. She keeps on at me, its not fair mum is always helping you, she forgets the amount of times mum went down to muck her horse out! I know mumdoes her best by both of us and tries to give to us what each of us need!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/12/2011 20:39

I agree with Natasha, but I'd bang your heads together Grin

Surely your mum is old enough to decide whether she can look after her daughters dog or her other daughters son for herself.

Just ignore your sister and let her say and think what she likes, what does it matter to you?

thegruffalossecretlovechild · 10/12/2011 20:39

Ellen I read your other thread the other day and you are clearly going through a terribly stressful period after escaping from a horrible situation. TBH it sounds that you are taking all your (understandable) anger out on your sister for something fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. My advice is to take that anger and frustration and channel it into making a new life for you and your DS. The last thing you should be doing at the moment is alienating your mum or sister.

AuntieDoris · 10/12/2011 20:43

23?! Sounds like you are 10!

Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 20:48

I am so trying to make a new life for myself. And she tells me i dont do anything!!! Since i have been down 5 weeks ago, i havent stopped, going to the council, advice about divorce,(which i am waiting until a little bit less chaotic), advice about his custody rights, the health visitor, doctors, blood test etc etc, and all i do is sit down all day oh and then there is my 18month old son, who is always with me! Easy peasy, just sitting down on my bum all day. Maybe i am more volatile than normal, but surely its understandable, she knows the situation, and she is old enough to understand (28) and she knows i am not sleeping well! I dont want to alienate her, hence (sorry) i wanted to vent my frustration at her on here rather than argue with her!

OP posts:
Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 20:52

I know, just need to vent it out or will end up punching her one. She replies when i say i have liam to look after with well i did walk the dogs today (her and her partners dogs, the dogs dont live here) and by walk she means she took them out to the car, went to the park and threw the ball for them before putting them back in the car and being driven home!

I probably do sound pathetic, but hey i am stressed why shouldn't i be pathetic.

OP posts:
thegruffalossecretlovechild · 10/12/2011 20:55

Exactly! Concentrate on sorting your life out rather than getting wound up by your sister. You have survived an horrendous period in your life and you need to channel your strength into building a newife for you and your DS. Develop a Teflon coating and don't be dragged into petty arguments with your sister. Act with dignity and don't get dragged into it. You have enough on your plate.

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 10/12/2011 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsanta · 10/12/2011 21:06

ordering you to cancel your dentist appointment is not on. are you living at your mums? do you think that she has had her nose put out of joint by your sudden arrival back home?

pinkyredrose · 10/12/2011 21:08

U need to stand up to your sister.

Sorry you're having a hard time of it at the moment, you do sound v stressed. Hope things improve for you soon.

thegruffalossecretlovechild · 10/12/2011 21:09

You are not pathetic, just put your energies into what matters to you. If you don't focus on getting yourself housing, protecting yourself from your ex and looking after DS then you are not doing yourself any favours let alone anyone else. Now just take a deep breath, relax and put it out of your mind. Looking after your sister's dogs does not rate on your list of priorities right now but equally ending up in a massive argument about it will not do you or anyone else any good. Keep on venting here rather than in real life. As an aside, by the time my DS hit about 2 I used to say there wasn't that much different
between him and a dog as they both needed regular exercise. You might find
that in the future you and your sister can work something put whereby both the dogs and your DS get exercise!

AgentZigzag · 10/12/2011 21:14

Don't ignore her behaviour, but don't punch her either Grin

You need to stand up to her treating you like shite, and tell her not to interfere in your life. Looking at who you've contacted on your phone?? Shock The fact she thinks it's acceptable to go rifling through your phone speaks volumes about how little she respects you.

Of course there's the risk she'll throw a tantrum and insist she has every right, but don't let that put you off, just Smile and let it wash over you, resolving to tell her each and every time she does it.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 21:17

I am living at my mum's. She probably isnt happy i am back home, but doesnt want me in northampton either and keeps moaning about how long housing is taking! I am not going to argue with her, I AM AN ADULT doesnt mean she doesnt wind me up to the point of wanting to scream! I have waited ten days fore this appointment cos its an extraction, i cant afford to lose £20 and my tooth is really hurting! i am taking prescription painkillers everyday for it, yet its my fault. And how could i give her a cold, when i havent got one. We went out wednesday shopping wednesday so she could have got it anywhere!

OP posts:
manticlimactic · 10/12/2011 21:28

Why can't you go to the dentist? Tell her to get stuffed.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 21:31

I am, she is just making me feel really guilty about mum being here on her own with my sisters two dogs cos mum has five cats and rabbits to do. But my appointment was booked first and organised and arranged around mum! Guarantee she will want mum on mine and my sons birthday for something but ha, i already have plans which dont need to involve mum but can if she is free!

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 10/12/2011 21:32

Seriously she is jealous you are back at your mothers, dont let her touch your phone thats private.

She has dogs not children and if she wants a puppy she has to look after it.

DorisIsTheDarkDestroyer · 10/12/2011 21:37

Detach!!!!

smile and nod don not rise to any bait she throws.... it's her new game your there and she can wind you up (you both appear to have regressed to early -mid teens)

she's says something controversal try your hardest to a) say nothing b)change the subject ar c) defer to someone else (whilst secrectly frothing inside) what ever you do DON'T BITE.

The cold thing ignore!!!! the dog thing your mum can decide the moan about housing agree... and so on.

Get out move on with your life (mentally sticking 2 fingers up at her (and your ex)

Original poster
EllenandBump · 10/12/2011 21:37

Exactly! If she couldnt look after the puppy she shouldnt have taken it on! My phone has found its new residence- the same place as it always used to eb when she was around - down my bra!

Its the only place she cant get to.

OP posts:
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 10/12/2011 21:54

Kick the dogs and take them to the pound, then when your sister complains kick her too! That should sort her out! Or just tell her to grow up and stop thinking the world revolves around her, and you do the same, and then your poor "piggy in the middle" mum can have a bit of peace.