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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that there's nothing I can do re stolen jewellery ....

50 replies

Duritzfan · 10/12/2011 18:34

as the title says, I feel as though there's nothing I can do ... We have had a cleaner in our home, and I have just discovered that my jewellery has been being slwoly cleared out over the last few months probably... The only person apart from me, dh and the kids who has access unaccompanied to our bedroom is the cleaner..but she seems SO nice.....
I have no proof obviously...otherwise i'd go STRAIGHT to the Police ...

Any idea if there is anything I can do ?
I'm gutted , we have added up the cost to replace and we are at 2,500 already ........

Xmas Sad
OP posts:
OnlyWantsOne · 10/12/2011 18:35

Tell the police!!!!

thederkinsdame · 10/12/2011 18:37

If you haveryet sacked the cleaner rig up a camera and let her incriminate herself

signet · 10/12/2011 18:38

Tell the police and let them do the investigation. Presumably it is insured in which case you'll want a crime number anyway if you are going to make a claim.

pooka · 10/12/2011 18:39

How do you mean has been slowly cleared out? I mean how do you know wasn't all nicked at once?

I really don't know what to suggest. Is horrible. We noticed bits going from my grandmothers home when she had a carer. I.e. noticed an antique jug missing, assumed had been broken by Dgm. Then some silver spooks. Then when another item went, we stopped the carers coming in. But we didn't involve police because my grandmother thought that it was her losing stuff (she had dementia) and would have been v difficult to prove anything.

NatashaBee · 10/12/2011 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rookiemater · 10/12/2011 18:43

Phone the police at least you can get some advice from them. We had a cleaner who stole Tesco vouchers, at least that was easy to prove as someone with the same surname as her used them.
It's horrible to feel that someone you are letting into your house is stealing things, and I would not want her in the house again.

Abitwobblynow · 10/12/2011 18:49

Don't do what Signet suggests, buy a c**P piece of shiny stuff and rig up a webcam.

Then hire the heavies from the local club and confront her with it. At her front door. Get it back, then never let her in the house again.

Sometimes no bureaucracy is the way to go, you know?

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 10/12/2011 18:50

You can't 'just' notice that stuff's been disappearing for months.

Does someone else in your family have an opinion, then?

Original poster
Duritzfan · 10/12/2011 19:06

How do you mean "does someone else have an opinion " ?

I keep all my nice jewellery in a top drawer all in its original boxes - at first I noticed two necklaces that I wear a lot had gone but I'd recently been away in a hotel and had both of them with me so I thought it was my losing them .. Then yesterday in middle of night I woke up and thought I should check everything else was there .. Did that and to my Angry found that every single box in that drawer is now empty - well, all the Tiffany and Links boxes anyway ... She left me my dept store stuff - designers at debenhams and swarovski not high end enough Grin

She has had the decency Sad to leave my daughters Links christening bracelet - which kind of hurts more tbh ..
CAN we claim on ins for theft like this ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Duritzfan · 10/12/2011 19:08

I dont ever want her in my house again - not even to try and trap her Sad

We have been bloody good to her - I'm gutted really

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 10/12/2011 19:11

Look you need to phone the police - you've had goods of £2.5k stolen - your insurers will want a crime reference number.

And do think if anyone at all else could have done it - i know someone who blamed their cleaners and they later realised they were wrong - awful situation.

cat64 · 10/12/2011 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

troisgarcons · 10/12/2011 19:14

Check pawn shop windows.

How old are your children? do their friends have access?
Does a neighbour have a spare key?
And I hate to say it - does your DP have a drink/drug/gambling debts?

its often closest to home rather than outsiders.

because if your cleaner came through and agency and recommended - its highly unlikely to be her.

NinkyNonker · 10/12/2011 19:15

My Granny's carers stole money religiously every week, the company didn't take it seriously. The police sure did though, you should absolutely tell them.

catpark · 10/12/2011 19:15

You should still contact the police and they will investigate it. If she is the only person that has had access to the jewellery then that might be enough for the police to get a search warrant for her house. Especially if they get fingerprints of the boxes that aren't yours. If she hasn't sold the jewellery on then you might get it back. Police will also check with local pawnbrokers to see if your jewellery is there.

You won't be able to claim on your insurance without crime number as well.

HandMini · 10/12/2011 19:19

I'm so sorry for you....that must feel really horrible. I think you should tell the police and of course check your insurance for a claim.

rookiemater · 10/12/2011 19:19

To troisgarcons, our cleaner came through an agency as well, in fact the owners treatment of the matter was in a way worse than the actual theft. She was very dismissive,refused to believe it could be the cleaner, wanted me to file a police report quickly so it could be sorted out before the cleaner came back from holiday so she would not be disturbed unnecessarily and somewhat ignored the fact that we were her customers.
I would in fact not have bothered the police were it not for the agencies insistence we did, but when I spoke to the duty officer she said they had loads of thefts from cleaners through agencies.

squeakytoy · 10/12/2011 19:27

Pawn shops will not have the stuff in the window. If someone has put something in the pawn shop, it is held in a safe for 6 months, and then sent to auction.

Are you 100% sure that your husband hasnt done it?

callaird · 10/12/2011 20:32

If you want to go down the ligal route and tell the police, do not srt up a camera. It is illegal to film or record someones voice without their knowledge, the police/court would not be able to do anything with it and you may get into trouble for compromising her human rights (I know, I know, it is stupid)

The best thing to do is call the police and hope that there are finger prints of hers on one of the boxes, she might think to wipe down the outside but the police might be able to get a partial print from inside the box.

But do call the police, even if they don't find any prints, you might still be able to claim on your home insurance and if someone else has made a complaint about her, it gives them more to go on. If she has done it to you, then it is more than likely that she has done it to other clients.

randommoment · 10/12/2011 20:40

I'm not sure Calliard is right about the law and cameras bit. I think you have every right to do so in your own home - I'd do some independent research. You do need to get to the bottom of this for your own peace of mind, and to get some money off your insurance, so I'd get on to the Police.

troisgarcons · 10/12/2011 20:54

Our local jewelers doubles up as a pawn shop and has an array of 2nd hand (ie unredeamed goods) for sale. OP says this has been going on months

squeakytoy · 10/12/2011 21:02

They can usually only put items that have been pawned for a certain value into their window (they can put whatever price they like on it though). It has something to do with the law in that when the item sells, any money that it makes over the amount of the loan and interest has to be paid to the person who put the goods in.

I would say if it is the cleaner, she would have had the "sense" to sell them to someone else rather than risk the pawn shop. Pawn shop take a photo of you, and need ID too.

I really cant see that amount of items going missing being the cleaner, one or two things perhaps if she thought you wouldnt notice.. but boxes and boxes of stuff? nah.

I think you need to look closer to home.

troisgarcons · 10/12/2011 21:22

You can 'accuse' the cleaner all you like - and have finger prints taken - but she has acces to your home to clean - and her prints will be everywhere anyway.

How old are your Dcs? and do their friends have access?

Original poster
Duritzfan · 10/12/2011 22:29

Have already thought about dcs .. Pretty sure neither woukd - no strike that - very sure - no one has spare keys and yes sure it wasnt dh - he is AngryAngry

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/12/2011 22:32

What does your husband say about it though.

It really isnt unheard of for the guilty person to be angry.. as they are rarely going to admit, particularly when there is a third party who could be the culprit.

How old are your children? How often do their friends come to the house when you are not home?