My in-laws (DS Grandparents) spend more than us on Christmas presents for DS

[metropolis]

My DS is nearly 3 and last Christmas and this Christmas my in-laws have bought more expensive and bigger presents than us for our DS. I know they want to spoil him, they have a good pension, whereas we struggle financially, but how would it appear to my DS that he gets larger than life presents from his grandparents than his own parents?

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom - There is no need to be rude. Actually I do know what its like to grow up in severe poverty, to never receive presents at all in my childhood so you FO. Some sisterhood forum here. Mums net more like mums bitch.

Just tell them that anything over a certain size has to stay at their house for visits.

We have done this, my inlaws go crazy at Christmas.

The boys regularly stay at their place and have their own room there full of toys and stuff, they even set up a swingset and trampoline.

Excellent.

What I love most about this thread is how it is completely opposite to a woman yesterday who was complaining her IL are cheap!

Be grateful and hope it continues - children's wants get expensive!

I read the other one, 1Catherine1, and suggested that people swap ILs!

I love the fact that my parent/in laws buy the biggest and most expensive presents for DD. It saves me money that I can spend on all the other more essential and boring things that need to be bought like food and clothing!

I think this is classed as a 'nice problem to have'.

My dad's parents were incredibly generous to my DB and I (bought our clothes, paid for music lessons, bought big presents) as my parents just couldn't afford to be at the time. In fact my nan has just paid for a large chunk of my dd's disability adaptations to the house. She does this because it gives her great pleasure to give, and we are bloody grateful - it absolutely does not mean I love my parents any less. They were busy paying for the dull but necessary items like school shoes.

Don't let this ruin the relationship with your ILs, allow them the happiness that it obviously gives them.

My parents spend loads on my dds - much more than us, in fact. My in laws are not in that position & do you know the dds don't care. They love both sets of gps, it makes not the slightest difference to them. We just tell them how lucky they are to have 2 sets of gps who love them & want to spend their hard earned cash on them, the actual amount is irrelevant.

OP I think yanbu. My parents and inlaws are both well off and would go beserk on presents if they could. We set a limit from the first xmas with children of just one present each from grandparents. They also get presents from godparents and friends etc so we felt there was no need for any more.

So grandparents give them a present each and then Santa brings all the other presents down the chimney (we don't give any obv). Even from Santa they only get three presents, a couple of books and a little stocking. We would be worried about them being too spoilt.

Don't the presents come from Santa anyway - My children have no idea that we buy the stuff. My Dad is only buying a couple of things for them this year, but is giving me some money to pay for their favourite activities, for which I am very grateful.

I think the idea that Santa gives all the presents is a dreadful one. He doesn't give my presents-and he isn't hijacking them!

Santa brings stockings.

Sorry-he fills stockings he doesn't 'bring' them.

I think the issue that the ILs buy huge piles of plastic tat that you don't have room for is a very different issue to your original complaint that they buy more than you.

The 2nd one is a non-issue - as you've been told already.

Re the 1st issue of plastic tat... if they're going to spend lots on your DC then perhaps you could channel it into things that your DC needs - or you want your DS to have? Tell them - well we'd love to have x bike, y playhouse, z new coat or whatever and then leave it at that. If they have a figure of eg £100 in their head and you're suggesting something for £15 then perhaps they feel the need to spend the rest of the money they'd allocated?

DS always writes to Santa with a list and Santa fills his stocking. The other gifts come from whoever bought them - including me! This may or not b e what was on the list dependent on whether it's affordable or practicle!

My parents come up on xmas day with another xmas ,they love buying for them even now as teenagers they like doing it , ive seen grandparents not giving a rats arse about their children and grandchildren never bothering with them , thats worse than what your ILs are doing , tbh

I think it pisses him off because he thinks it's a competition and he wants to win.Also his mother just gives us a bunch of fivers and tells us to get the kids something.Doesn't even wrap anything up.Not housebound so could easily get something herself.Can't be arsed.Every year it's the same old fucking story and it spoils my xmas every year.Knot in my stomach when my parents arrive with their santa sack for the kids.I want to cry every year.